Five years of this newsletter, no social.

That was on purpose. For years, I refused to give The Love List its own Instagram. I said I’d never do it. The newsletter was the newsletter. My feed was my feed. I liked the line.

What can I say? I got over myself, changed my mind, and hired some help.

The newsletter now has its own home on Instagram!

FOLLOW THE LOVE LIST ON INSTAGRAM

@thelovelist.wtf is the brand. @jessnellgraves is still me.

You need an incentive? Oh, fine…

Last year, Lauren Santo Domingo coined the term “Silly little bag” in our newsletter. We shortened it to “SLB”. She said everyone needs one, and I agree.

How about two?

It’s the Substack Starter Pack: SLB Edition.

Take your pick from two sold-out bags: Valesque’s viral “Thea“ SLB in pink or The Row’s gold mesh “Imogen” mini tote.

In each, an array of goodies: sunnies, fragrance from Memo Paris and Perfumehead, jewels from At Present, Julietta’s sold-out “Opiyum” collar, and more.

Head to Instagram to win.

Win Yourself a SLB on IG

People on this platform copy me. Shamelessly, sometimes, and with a specificity that crosses from flattery into plagiarism. I see my outfit collages restaged. I see my market work lifted almost whole. I see the structure of my newsletters reproduced, my phrases repeated back to me without attribution, my voice mimicked with an uncanniness that stops being charming, my ideas and archetypes blatantly stolen, the exact colors I use in my graphic design showing up in somebody else’s template two weeks after I’ve used them. I see editors from larger publications lifting my ideas, and voices on other platforms riffing on my work, without attribution. Woof.

Am I annoyed? Yes! I would be lying if I said I wasn’t. I have spent twenty years developing this point of view, and it is, at minimum, mildly insulting to watch it get Xeroxed in real time by women who have put in twenty months, and by publications that should, frankly, know better.

But! I have decided that if people are going to copy me anyway, I might as well save them a step and tell them how the whole thing actually works.

So here is the shopping newsletter playbook. I wrote it, and I dare you to do it better.

Let’s be clear: I am first and foremost a writer and an editor. Not an editor in the grammatical sense; an editor in the way a magazine has an editor — someone whose job is POV. This is the part most people building in this space get wrong, and it is the part I want to begin with, because everything else I say in this letter follows from it.

I did not set out to build “an affiliate business” (ick). I did not set out to build a media company (oops). I set out to write and to edit.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the anonymous fashion Substacker and the $275K that scandalized the internet. It got shared! It got quoted! It got the kind of comment section that made me love my readers more than I already did.
But the response I wasn’t expecting, and the one I want to answer today, came into my inbox.

It came from dozens of women. Writers, mostly, some with small newsletters, some with none yet, all of them asking some version of the same question.

How did you actually do this? Would you tell me? Would you help?

Yes, I will help! That is what this letter is.

The earlier piece was about my right to be paid for the work. This piece is about the work itself, and how you can do yours. There is no formula, and I would not trust anyone who told you there was.

But there are things I know now that I wish I had known at the beginning. And if you’re going to copy me, at least do it with the full instructions. But mostly, this is just here for anyone who wants to dip their toe into this world — there’s a feast happening in real time, so pull up a chair and join me.

1. Your newsletter is Bergdorf Goodman. Or is it The Gap? Decide.

The reader who opens a newsletter is not being interrupted. She is not scrolling past you on her way to something else. She chose to read. That is the most valuable permission on the internet, and almost nobody talks about it that way.

Treat the inbox like the storefront it is. Merchandise beautifully. Know what’s on the floor. Help people think about how these objects will integrate into their lives. Speak to their function and care. Present a great experience, whether or not anyone makes a purchase.

Respect those who came in. Don’t waste their time. Write something worth their attention, in the voice they subscribed to, and the rest follows.

2. You need three things, and most people have none of them.

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Every year around this time my inbox fills with the same pastel-scented press push. Peonies! Spa robes! A candle that smells like “her!” The Mother’s Day industrial complex has a specific tone that I find punishing, mostly because it flattens mothers into a single sentimental archetype. My own mother, for the record, would rather be sent a good book and left alone.

What follows is the opposite of that. A handful of considered indie brands I actually shop, most of them founded or co-run by women who are themselves mothers, most making things that will outlast the peonies by about forty years.

FEWER FINER // Brooklyn, NY

started Fewer Finer in 2018 out of what I can only describe as a devotional relationship to small, significant objects. The brand operates out of a townhouse in Williamsburg. Custom work ranges from heirloom re-imagination to hand engraving. This feels like being invited into someone’s home.

Madison made me custom charms of my dogs, Hank and Birdie, and I cannot think of a more treasured gift. If your mother has a pet she talks about more than her children (we all know one), this is the gift.

DEAR CECILIA // Los Angeles, CA

Dear Cecilia is a bag line built, as the tagline goes, “for the love of horses”. The whole proposition is equestrian without being costume-y, which is harder to pull off than it looks. But Mom doesn’t have to be a regular in the tack room to partake.

The piece to know is the Leonora canvas tote, which has become my personal argument for the chic mom bag. It holds everything a mother actually carries without looking like a diaper bag or a tote from a literary festival. I would give it to a new mother and a mother of teenagers with equal confidence.

LILY EVE // New York, NY

Lily Eve does one of my favorite sleights of hand in contemporary accessories: clutches sewn from vintage Hermès beach towels, coats cut from Hermès blankets. The logic is perfect! You take an object that was already Hermès, already beautiful, already archival, and you turn it into something wearable and one of a kind. The coats especially have a collector energy I find hard to resist.

For Mother’s Day, I would point you toward a Cabana clutch in whatever towel she happens to have in stock when you look. Each one is different. A mother who already owns her good handbags and doesn’t need another one will understand exactly what she’s looking at.

CASA GUSTO // West Palm Beach, FL

Casa Gusto is Valerie and Besty Smith’s Palm Beach studio, and it is the single most romantic retail experience in South Florida. Everything in the store has a hand in it somewhere, but the papier-mâché is the draw for me. Flowers, fruit, whole trompe-l’œil tableaux, all made by hand in their workshop, all looking like something pulled from a seventeenth-century still life.

The Tole flowers are the move. A single papier-mâché tulip or geranium in an antique pot will outperform a $200 bouquet on every axis. It lasts forever. It photographs better. It signals that the giver knows something. For a mother who already has the house and the garden, this is where to find her something she has never seen before.

LA BONNE BROSSE // Paris, FR

La Bonne Brosse is the French hair brush brand that has taken over every beauty editor’s bathroom in the last two years, and the hype is warranted. The brushes are handmade in France from cellulose acetate and boar bristle, in candy-hued colorways that belong in a Slim Aarons photograph. They feel weighted and arrive in a ceremonial little box. Give a mother the N.01 Universal, which is the all-purpose brush, in whatever shade matches her vanity.

STEPHANIE WINDSOR // Los Angeles, CA

Stephanie Windsor deals in vintage watches, and she deals in the ones I want. Her eye runs toward the 1960s and 1970s pieces that most dealers overlook in favor of the obvious Rolexes: small-case Cartiers, Piagets in unexpected stones, an ADP that used to live on a woman’s wrist at a lunch. Her curation is flawless.

A vintage watch is the gift that will outlast the giver. Stephanie’s inventory moves, so the advice is to look now and buy when you see it, not the other way around. Your mother will wear it for the rest of her life, and your daughter will wear it after that.

MOTTE STUDIO // Los Angeles, CA

Motte is Claire Bigbie’s studio, and the work sits at the intersection of functional object and sculpture in a way that stopped my scroll dead in its tracks. The tulip candles are the signature. A hand-sculpted flower wrapped around a waxed base, each one a real candle, each one too beautiful to actually burn. I have never lit mine. I don’t plan to!

The wine swans are the other must. It is an object that makes a dinner table. For a mother who entertains, or a mother who simply likes beautiful things, Motte is where I would shop first.

ST. ROSE // Australia

St. Rose is an Australian perfume house that has been flying under the American radar for too long. The compositions are restrained: no gourmand cloud, no oud assault. French Poetry is the safe bet for Mother’s Day, a clean musk with a hint of bergamot that works on anyone.

UNDERWATER WEAVING STUDIO // Brooklyn, NY

Underwater Weaving is a Brooklyn basket studio founded by ’s Erin Pollard and her mom. The baskets are hand-woven in sculptural shapes that owe more to ceramic practice than to traditional basketry: curved forms, asymmetric silhouettes, pieces that function as vessels but read as objects. The craft is old, but their point of view is contemporary. A crafted basket is a sleeper Mother’s Day gift. Pragmatism, but make it chic! It holds the mail, onions, her laptop, or nothing at all. Or for an activity to do together, buy the basket kits and DIY.

MARIE DAÂGE // Paris

Marie Daâge is the only fine china line I would register for now, and I stand by that. The house hand-paints Limoges porcelain to order in something like three hundred color combinations, which means you can spec a set in exactly the oxblood-and-ivory or the pale-blue-and-gold you already see on your mother’s table. The custom element is what separates it from the competition.

For a mother who entertains, a set of dessert plates in a color she loves is a gift that will be used at every dinner party she hosts for the next thirty years. The custom lead time is real, which is something to flag if you are reading this close to Mother’s Day. Order now for next year, or order a single piece from ABASK’s ready-to-ship inventory.

SANGRE DE FRUTA // Vancouver, BC

Sangre de Fruta is Allison Audrey Weldon’s botanical apothecary out of British Columbia. Glass bottles, letterpress labels, a color palette pulled from a seventeenth-century herbarium — swoon.

The body serum in Garden of Earthly Delights is the Mother’s Day pick. Rose, neroli, jasmine, bergamot — it’s really a whole floral cabinet. Give it a little something extra and tuck in a packet of their bath salts.

Greetings, earthlings! That sentiment feels apropos after weeping so many tears over our heroic astronauts last week. It was nice to feel proud of our country for one fleeting moment. I haven’t felt that way since I leaned over to my French friend at the Beyoncé concert last summer and said “Dare I say I feel… patriotic?”

Aside from being overly invested in the moonbound journey of four strangers (a much healthier fixation than say, Scamandal or whatever we’re calling the Summer House debacle… poor Carl, he’s a mess) I’ve been a social butterfly now that sunshine is touching my shoulders again.

The Love List’s team is growing, and we’ve welcomed a FT Marketing Director, Lauren Kranc, to the fold, a co-hire with (she and I have something in the works too). Thank you to our buddy and the highly effective Feed Me job board.

With the extra bandwidth, I have the time to attack some of the loftier goals we have for the back half of the year. After my wedding in July, we’ll kick off anniversary celebrations (The Love List is 5 years old, ahh!) which Lauren will help spearhead. I decided to throw her into the fire feet-first and send her to New York Bridal Fashion Week, which she crushed — recap here.

Meanwhile, I still don’t have a wedding dress, but I did find some other worthy closet additions at the city’s best vintage show, A Current Affair, over the weekend.

I found a stunning Chanel brooch as one of my “something blues”, a 1996 runway Donna Karan capelet, a wildly cool 90’s Chanel khaki trench and trouser set, a perfectly patinated Jil Sander leather car coat, a just-enough worn-in David Bowie concert tee from the 70s, and some other goodies I’m saving for my wedding day, which is drawing ever closer (3 month countdown!). Since the wedding has a rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, ceremony, reception, and after party, I have a lot of opportunity to change into different looks.

Despite it all, I’ve still had plenty of time to do market work. Here’s what’s noteworthy this week.

• I had a restorative kiki with some girlfriends last weekend that led to some plotting (Gigi Burris x The Love List coming sooooon) and then a wonderful dinner the other night hosted by for her friend , who just published an excellent book on one of my favorite pastimes, journaling. The Big Unlock is her guidebook to the simple profundity of working through your feelings on paper. (Speaking of Meg, the new Dorsey drop is beautiful.)

• Summer must be nigh, because Club Moda is back! The exclusive Juju Vera earrings are beckoning me — they scream Coastal France honeymoon. Would look great with a generous swish of Westman Atelier’s new Sun Tone Bronzing Creme. (The phone cords are also kind of amazing).

• Métier now has a permanent home in New York. Hello, 142 Wooster.

• Two very different holidays are on the horizon, depending on your observance: Mother’s Day and 4/20. For the latter, I’ve been a big proponent of California-style sobriety as of late, opting for things with a very subtle buzz and no hangover, like Cann (the new elderflower is delicious but I’m a forever roadie packet girl) and The High Confectionery’s Marionberry Sleep Gummies.

• For the former, I think about my own Mom, who loves two things: cooking and being cozy on her porch. Swaddled up in this, maybe? Full Mother’s Day gift guide coming post haste…

• I feel like I might need this.

• Sleeper brand alert for the minimalists and CBK-devotees: Aussie label YANETH.

• I think we might be doing Puka shells again (????)

• I hate to tell you that this $76 (!) deodorant has been illuminating for me and my highly sensitive skin…

• Now that warm weather is here, I’m officially switching my oily scalp over from shampoo and conditioner to salt scrub and conditioning mask.

• Holy shit. This under your sunscreen, trust me. (Add this perennial favorite to your cart while you’re there.)

• If you have a relative named Chip or Muffy, this is going to be your jam.

• A spring sale at Porta, you say?

is one of my favorite people to talk to about almost anything. She grew up in Lyon, spent her summers on the Mediterranean, and just published her first cookbook, Riviera, which comes out this month and distills all of that into workable recipes you can make on a weeknight in a small kitchen. It’s the food she grew up eating, and it’s also the world she built Ghia around: the nonalcoholic aperitif that turned the aperitivo hour into a brand universe without ever needing a drop of alcohol.

Melanie is one of the best brand builders I know, but she’s also just a person with an absurdly good eye. I love that she’ll find a Chanel jacket in Tokyo for $600 and $31 Miu Miu trousers on consignment and see no contradiction between the two. She writes on Substack, splits her time between New York and Paris, checks Vestiaire Collective and The RealReal twice a day without apology, and has the kind of no-nonsense tact that makes you trust her immediately on everything from a hand cream to a hotel.

This is how she shops.

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Fashion & Style

The best fashion investment I ever made was: buying a Chanel jacket in Tokyo in 2019 for $600. It fits like a glove. Only in Japan can you find something like this in a size 34, perfectly preserved. I wear it only a couple of times a year, but it’s a forever keepsake.

My uniform (the thing I reach for over and over) is: a chunky crewneck from CO and their clutch, which I somehow wear most days and nights. I love everything that brand makes. It’s quality but unfussy. It’s also more cool than chic which I like.

Something I just bought to wear this season is: the grey Rohe top you influenced me to buy! I love it so much. I also bought The Row tassel loafers and have zero regrets. I am exactly what retailers describe as a “shoe customer.” I’ve been wearing them nonstop with chunky socks from Comme Si, especially the merino wool ones, which I think are a sleeper hit.

Something in my cart right now is: the Liberowe knit cardigan. It’s very on sale (40% and extra 20%), but sadly still somehow very expensive.

If I could, I’d spend all my money on French and Italian vintage furniture.

The piece I’m always repurchasing is: Falke Matt Deluxe 20 DEN tights in black. Non-negotiable.

My ultimate fashion grail is: this jacket from the Louis Vuitton Fall/Winter 2014 show. I’m a huge Nicolas Guesquiere fan. I also found that one in Tokyo, on a different trip.

The best under-$100 fashion buy I’ve ever made: these $31 Miu Miu slacks from The RealReal. I’m a RealReal and Vestiaire Collective superuser and proud of it.

Beauty & Wellness

The best money I’ve ever spent on a beauty treatment is: actually money I’m about to spend. I’m saving up for a bleph this year. I have one droopy eyelid and genetic eye bags—both my grandfather and my mom had the same thing. Instead of thinking about it every single day, I decided I’m just going to do it. This is 35.

A beauty product I’m constantly reaching for is: U Beauty Super Hydrator & Bisou Balm in Bonbon Myrtille.

The products I buy in multiples so I never run out: Merit mascara, the Make Beauty Nano Brow Pencil, and the Ceremonia Pequi Flyaway Brush.

The most overrated beauty product I’ve tried is: La Mer cream. I truly don’t get it.

A beauty product that actually changed my skin, hair, or life is: the Crown Affair towel and the Roz hair oil. More broadly, moving away from dyes, sulfates, and silicones completely changed my hair. It took me over 30 years to embrace my thick, curly hair, but now I get compliments on it all the time.

Absolutely essential in my bag is: cuticle oil, lip balm, gum or mints, my keys, a loose credit card (I’m chaotic like that), and Zofran. I have endometriosis and can, at any moment, have an episode and start throwing up uncontrollably, so it’s not optional.

My desert-island beauty product is: sunscreen. My French dermatologist taught me to use Differin every single day, and I’ve been doing that for 15 years—but no one needs that on a desert island! Sunscreen matters though! I love this one from U Beauty, and I also think Sofie Pavitt is working on one, which will probably become my favorite since I love everything she makes. Another desert island bring is Ghia, obviously. Very refreshing on an island and drinking booze ages you.

A wellness splurge that was actually worth it is: my red-light mask.

Recommendations & Rituals

Something I use because a friend recommended it is: this protein powder I swear by. I just mix one scoop of the chocolate flavor after a workout. It’s clean, doesn’t bloat me, and actually tastes good.

Something I recommend to all my friends is: this digestion tea by my friend Natazia as well as this 9 euro French pharmacy hand cream that is truly the best (purple cap, not blue cap).

In my opinion, everyone is sleeping on: 440ME. They make the best lightweight knits.

My favorite beauty treatment in my home city is: a facial at Raquel Medina. It’s an expensive addiction.

Whenever I’m in Paris, I always: get baby Botox at my French dermatologist’s office, Marie-Serre Polons. She only works by referral, but she’s incredible. If you DM me, I’ll send you the referral.

_________ is a brand I love supporting because: Tigra Tigra, because their pieces are really fun, playful, handmade in India and the founder Bailey is also the creative director of the Elder Statesman and is absolutely amazing.

The store, brand, or designer I wish more people knew about is: The Park, they make the most luxurious basics.

The app or site I check daily for shopping inspo is: Vestiaire Collective / The RealReal (2x per day, really).

Home & Lifestyle

Something I just bought for my home is: a charcoal drawing from the BBDW auction. I’m currently hunting for the perfect vintage frame for it.

My go-to hostess gift is: a beautiful vase with flowers. It doesn’t have to be expensive but it’s so much better than the stock shit you get from florists. So many people don’t own a nice vase, and it genuinely drives me crazy.

The indulgence I will always justify is: local, organic food.

Wildcard

My most regretted purchase was: buying a brand-new Kelly bag for my 30th birthday. I immediately knew it wasn’t me. I don’t like to look expensive. I loved the two-year hunt for the leather appointment, but once I had it, I gave it to my mom for her 60th. Later, I bought a super beat-up Kelly for $2,000 from a random French auction, and I love that one infinitely more.

The last thing I DM’d a friend saying “buy this” was: this morning, I am helping a founder friend style herself for a big shoot and I sent her these Kallmeyer pants.

The best shopping advice I’ve ever been given is: shoes don’t get bigger (even though your magic substack chat seems to always have amazing pairs in a 38, aka one size too small for me).

I knew I was a “shopper” when: at 14 years old, I decided to iron all my neighbors’ clothes for five euros an hour to save up for the Marc Jacobs mouse flats. I wore them to shreds, and my mom got them resoled and they are still in my bedroom at her place.

More to Love…

There is no wrong way to collect jewelry. You begin with instinct and interest, and hopefully your collection becomes a lifetime pursuit. A ring from a bubblegum machine can mean more to the wearer than a Graff diamond. And while you’ll never catch me choosing Baublebar over Bulgari, the subjectivity is what creates not just value, but sentiment. That’s what makes the hunt so thrilling.

I’ve never kicked something sparkly out of bed. But I’ve also never bought a piece at retail or because someone on Instagram wore it. Everything in my collection exists because it tickled something in my brain and heart (and Amex, oops) at once.

There is a difference between appreciating beauty and possessing it. I have held pieces that made my chest tighten and put them back down. Not because they weren’t extraordinary, but because wanting something is not the same as it being yours. I sound woo-woo, but jewelry is emotional for me: I believe that the pieces that belong in my collection will make the case for themselves. My job is to listen.

What follows is my exhaustive, very personal guide to thinking about jewelry as a collector rather than a consumer. My sensibilities, like my collection, are my own — there is no right or wrong here. But I’m going to let you in on how I think, how I buy, and how I’m building a collection over a lifetime.

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The Three Families

Understanding What You Actually Collect

Most people think they have “a jewelry collection.” What they actually have is a jewelry box. A collection has a thesis.

When I laid out everything I own that I consider worth insuring, I didn’t see a random accumulation. I saw three distinct families, each representing a different reason to buy and a different kind of satisfaction.

Family One: Artisan Gold: These are the pieces from small, living ateliers—designers I know, people operating more like independent fashion houses than corporate jewelry brands. Sherman Field. EREDE. Lisa Eisner. Lucy Delius. What unites them is the handmade quality, the proprietary alloys, and the fact that these designers developed their own gold colors and their own chain-link constructions from scratch.

Sherman Field spent nearly a year developing their signature 18K yellow gold—a warm, buttery hue that reads almost antique. EREDE uses certified recycled gold with lab-grown VVS diamonds, positioning themselves at the intersection of fine jewelry ethics and Art Deco geometry. Lisa Eisner sources turquoise from long-closed American mines and wraps it in bronze claws that look like they were taloned after a night of Ayahuasca.

Is a python bag just a python bag? Or is it something else entirely when it’s Nancy Gonzalez — whose bags now carry the particular frisson of a designer doing federal time for smuggling the very skins she built her empire on. Is it different when The Row makes yours to order, no logo, your initials blind-stamped inside where only you know they’re there. Or when your friend’s husband sources sustainable American alligator from the Everglades and hand-stitches each bag in a workshop you’ve actually been to. Or when Khaite introduces exotic skins and suddenly everyone acts like they discovered reptile.

It’s the same skin. But it’s never the same bag! The material is the starting point — the provenance, the relationship, the context, the story of how it came to you — that’s what makes it yours. Jewelry works exactly the same way.

When I buy from these designers, I’m not buying a brand, I’m buying a hand! I want to know who bent the wire, who selected the stone, who decided that the hinge on those EREDE studs should have exactly that weight and exactly that click. This mirrors how I approach everything else about The Love List: I want the person behind the thing. The relationship is part of the value!

Family Two: Victorian and Antique Estate. The opposite logic applies here. Many of my antique pieces are unsigned, un-branded, and they come from a time before jewelry “designers” existed as a commercial category. A pair of Victorian rose-cut diamond drop earrings with black enamel, circa 1860. A cobalt blue guilloché enamel ring with seed pearls and rose-cut diamonds from roughly the same era. An Art Deco platinum bombé ring fully pavé-set with old European-cut diamonds from the 1930s. Gleefully OTT David Webb turquoise cabochon earrings from the 1970’s.

Nobody made these pieces for a lookbook. They survived 100 to 170 years because the craftsmanship was extraordinary and someone, at every generation, recognized that and kept them safe.

When I hold my Victorian enamel ring, I am holding a technique. That’s what I’m paying for. The hand-engraved shanks, the milgrain detailing, the guilloché enamel that someone spent days applying layer by translucent layer—this is labor that doesn’t exist anymore at any price point.

I like the treasure-hunt intimacy of an antique dealer who knows my eye and sets things aside for me. That relationship is the collecting experience I value. And while there’s nothing wrong with an auction paddle, the impulse and adrenaline of it personally triggers my anxiety.

Family Three: Iconic House Watches. The only branded luxury pieces in my collection are all watches: a Cartier Panthère mini in full 18K gold, a Cartier Tank in vermeil, a Franck Muller Curvex in 18K gold. Notice what’s happening here: I let the heritage houses do what they do best: cases, movements, legacy, the cabochon crown, the Roman numeral dial… but I don’t hand them my wrist and my ears. It sort of defies logic, but I promise it makes sense to me. In my head, it grounds my collection in something substantive but easy to clock.

This is an important distinction for collectors! A full Cartier jewelry wardrobe is like walking into a furniture store and buying a living room set. A Cartier watch paired with Lisa Eisner turquoise studs and a Sherman Field bracelet is a point of view.

Trust Your Eye As Much As Provenance

Half of my most valuable pieces are unsigned!

Here is something the big-house jewelry industry prefers you don’t internalize: a signature does not make a piece good. It makes a piece sellable.

My Art Deco platinum bombé ring is unsigned. It has no hallmark inside the band. It was made by a jeweler whose name is lost to history, sometime in the 1930s or 1940s, and it is one of the most magnificent rings I have ever seen—a full dome of old European-cut diamonds in platinum, with milgrain detailing on the horizontal bands that could make a modern jeweler weep.

I bought it from an antique dealer in Carmel, CA for $6,000. Its estimated insurance replacement value is $12,000 to $18,000, pending a formal appraisal. The range is wide because the exact carat weight hasn’t been verified—I estimate 3 to 5 carats total based on visual assessment—and that number will determine where it lands.

Now, if that same ring had “Cartier Paris” engraved inside the shank, it would be a $40,000 to $80,000 ring. Same platinum. Same diamonds. Same craftsmanship. The signature would multiply the price by four or five. That’s the provenance premium, and understanding it is one of the most important things a collector can do. Because when you subtract the premium, you’re left with the object. One isn’t necessarily better than the other, I love jewelry of great provenance as well, but you need to know when the provenance has real value and when you’re just paying for a name.

My Angela Cummings for Tiffany positive/negative earrings are the exception that proves this rule. They’re signed, they’re branded, they’re from a discontinued and collectible line. I bought them for approximately $2,500. Their estimated replacement value is $4,500 to $5,000. I didn’t buy them because they said Tiffany on the back. I bought them because the black jade against the 18K gold, in that spotted dome pattern, in inverse colorways, is one of the most sophisticated design moves in American jewelry. Angela Cummings understood the relationship between positive and negative space the way an architect does. I wanted the earrings. The provenance was a bonus!

I think that’s the true shopper’s trick, right? Learn to see the object before you read the stamp. But also don’t let the stamp be the reason you don’t grab a piece you love.

Mixing Eras Without Looking Like a Costume

The material palette is my through line.

I wear Victorian rose-cut diamond earrings from the 1860s with a Sherman Field 18K anchor chain bracelet made last year. On paper, this kind of breaks the rules. In practice, it is the most interesting arm-and-ear combination I own. The reason it works is material consistency: warm gold, white diamonds, handmade construction. The eras are different, but the fundamental values are the same.

When I look across my entire collection, I see a throughline that I didn’t consciously plan but that my eye enforced: warm gold tones, black and white contrast, and dimensional forms. The Angela Cummings earrings are black jade on gold. The Victorian drop earrings are white diamonds on black enamel on gold. The EREDE studs are white diamonds in ribbed gold. The platinum bombé ring and the white gold cluster ring are the only cool-toned pieces, and they’re both diamond-heavy cocktail rings that exist in their own evening context.

If you want to mix eras successfully, here is the rule I’d offer: pick your metal family and stay in it. If you live in warm gold, stay in warm gold across centuries. If you’re a platinum-and-white-gold person, commit to that. The era can change. The silhouette can change. The designer can change. But the color temperature of the metal is what makes everything on your body look like it belongs to one person rather than five different people who got dressed in the dark.

Can you mix metals? 100%. But think of it like building a wardrobe: you want great jeans, but you don’t want all jeans, all the time, right?

For me, the one exception is contrast pieces. Like a single cool-toned cocktail ring against an otherwise warm-gold hand, for instance, can be the most arresting thing in the room.

How to Buy Well

Price, Patience, and the Dealer Relationship

I have never paid retail replacement value for anything in my collection. Not once. I’m consistently buying at 40 to 70 cents on the dollar of what it would cost to replace each piece today. This is honestly a combination of luck and method.

Buy from resale platforms early and often. The RealReal, 1stDibs, Farfetch pre-owned, and The ReSee in Paris are where I’ve found some of my favorite pieces. These platforms are the great equalizer. Pending condition (and that’s a big one) you are buying the same object that a retail customer pays full price for, minus the boutique experience and the shopping bag.

Cultivate one or two dealers and be loyal. That relationship means I get first look at incoming pieces that match my taste. The dealer knows I like bold forms, warm gold, old cuts, and enamel work. They set things aside. You cannot replicate this on the internet. The algorithm does not know you like that, babe! At Richter’s in Palm Beach, Emma Richter immediately clocked my Angela Cummings for Tiffany earrings and instantly got my vibe. I didn’t buy anything that day, but now she knows what I like, we have each other’s numbers, and she’s texting me things she comes across at auction, estates and shows. Do you really think your girls Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are just floating into F.D. Gallery and pulling from the case?

Know your designers. I bought my Lucy Delius necklace at a great price because the designer is a friend. I bought some of my Sherman Field bracelets at meaningful discounts, but the first thing I ever bought was full-price before I ever knew Danielle. This is not about extracting favors. It is about existing in a community of people who make beautiful things and supporting them directly, which sometimes comes with the privilege of insider pricing. If you love an independent jewelry designer’s work, buy from them directly, wear their pieces visibly, and tag them when it’s appropriate. The relationship builds from there.

Understand the difference between purchase price and replacement value. Your insurance company does not care what you paid! They care what it would cost to replace the piece at current retail or equivalent market value. This is why you should always log the higher number. Say you have a pair of earrings that were appraised at $7,000 several years ago and you paid $3,500. The replacement value today is $7,500 to $9,000. That’s the number that goes on the insurance policy—not what you paid, not what you could sell them for tomorrow, but what it would cost to find another pair of equivalent quality, era, and condition.

Building a Wardrobe, Not a Vault

If it lives in a safe deposit box, it is inventory!

I wear my jewelry. All of it. Nothing sits. This is important because it shapes how I buy. Every potential purchase has to answer one question: when will I wear this? If the answer is “special occasions,” it had better be extraordinary. If the answer is “every day,” it had better be indestructible. If the answer is “I don’t know, but it’s beautiful,” I walk away.

The way I like to collect, a collection is functional. I’m not a “wait for fancy guests to use the good silverware” person. I say use the good silverware every day. Same mindset for jewelry. Just insure it and be smart about when and where you wear your pieces. If Kim Kardashian has taught us anything, it’s not to flaunt your diamonds on Instagram.

Think of your jewelry collection the way you think about your closet: you need the everyday pieces (studs, a chain, a bracelet), the occasion pieces (cocktail rings, chandeliers, a serious watch), and the bridge pieces that move between both worlds (a great pair of gold hoops, a diamond drop earring, a vintage brooch that pins to a blazer lapel on Tuesday and a black dress on Saturday). If any of those three categories is empty, you have a gap. A gap isn’t bad, it’s a challenge, it’s a hunt! You have a whole life to acquire these things. Take it slow. Savor it.

What to Collect Next: The Lifetime View

A collection is never finished. But it should have a direction!

My collection is pretty well-rounded. But here’s what I’m looking for next, some of which is structured as a framework you can apply to your own collection.

The everyday chain. I don’t have one yet. Something heavy, warm gold, handmade, that I put on and never take off. Not a pendant necklace, not a layering piece, not a locket. One chain, maybe 18 inches. This is the foundation piece of any serious jewelry wardrobe, and I’ve been waiting for the right one rather than settling. Sherman Field makes a chain that would be the natural choice given my existing relationship with the brand. But a vintage Cartier or Bulgari chain from the 1970s would add the estate-meets-modern tension that defines my best pieces. I’m holding out for the moment of recognition.

The right-hand ring. Say I have two cocktail rings (the platinum bombé and the white gold cluster), both of which are evening pieces. What I’d be missing is the ring I wear on a Tuesday—a signet, a cigar band, or an interesting thick gold band. This is a piece that a friend could make for me, or that I could find as a gorgeous Georgian or Victorian gold band at one of my antique dealers. It needs to have the weight and warmth of my bracelets but exist on the hand rather than the wrist. I think if you wear a wedding ring daily, you need a right-hand ring of some sort to make it look right. That’s my opinion!

The Victorian brooch worn as a pendant. We have Art Deco’d to death. Murder on the dance floor. She dead. But Victorian? I already love the era. A gold and diamond starburst, a crescent moon, or a floral spray brooch—something I can pin to a chain and wear at the throat? This bridges my antique collection and my everyday gold.

The museum-quality signed antique. Long term. A Castellani, a Carlo Giuliano, a Fabergé, or an early Cartier Art Deco brooch. This is the piece that anchors a collection with historical weight—the one that a curator would want to borrow. I’m not hunting for it. I’m letting it find me. But I’ll know it when I see it, because by the time it crosses my path, I’ll have spent years training my eye on exactly this kind of object.

THE TL/DR: MY COLLECTOR COMMANDMENTS

1. BUY THE OBJECT, NOT THE NAME. Learn to see before you read the stamp. A magnificent unsigned piece will outlast and outshine a mediocre signed one every time. The provenance premium is real—understand it, and decide when it’s worth paying and when it’s not.

2. KEEP THE METAL PALETTE COMPLIMENTARY: Mix eras, mix designers, mix silhouettes—but stay in your metal family. The color temperature of your gold or platinum is the invisible thread that makes everything on your body look intentional.

3. NEVER PAY RETAIL IF YOU CAN HELP IT: Resale platforms, estate dealers, designer relationships, and patience will consistently get you the same object at 40 to 70 cents on the replacement dollar. The boutique experience is not worth the markup, unless the boutique experience is the point, in which case, go off!

1. CULTIVATE DEALER RELATIONSHIPS: Find one or two antique dealers whose taste overlaps with yours, buy from them repeatedly, and let them learn your eye. The best pieces will never make it to the display case.

2. WEAR EVERYTHING: A piece that lives in a safe is not part of your heart. Before you buy, answer: when will I wear this? If the answer is never or someday, put it down. Unless of course you’re Princess Kate, in which case, what are you doing here girl?

3. PRIORITIZE CRAFTSMANSHIP, QUALITY AND WEIGHT OVER SCALE: A small, heavy, beautifully made piece will always feel more expensive than a large, light, flashy one. Hold it in your hand before you look at it on your body. This is when you want a fat booty and not an Ozempic diamond.

4. INSURE YOUR COLLECTION: Your insurance company doesn’t care what you paid. They care what it costs to replace. Always log the higher number. Get the pieces with uncertain carat weights professionally appraised. Protect the collection you’ve built.

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Air travel has been spotty at best lately. Twice already this year, I’ve landed somewhere without my luggage, both times with an event looming.

You know what’s in just about every city? A Sephora.

This is when everything I know about beauty products actually matters. I’m not browsing. I’m not curious. I’m not here for the new launch or whatever showed up in my TikTok feed on the plane. I’m in lizard-brain mode — power-shopping for the exact things I know will work, on my face, tonight, with no margin for error.

These are my ride-or-dies! The stuff that has survived every gifted alternative and every phase where I thought I’d found something better.

I’ve mentioned most of these products before, scattered across years of newsletters and recommendations. But I’ve never sat down and put them all together, and after the second lost-luggage incident, I figured it was time. Think of this as the text I’d send if you called me from Sephora with twenty minutes to pull it together. Because I’ve been there, sis.

The Sephora Savings Event is coming soon, 4/10-4/20! Everything is on sale; use code SPRINGSALE to shop as many times as you want, the code has no limit to how much you can use it. Rouge gets 20% off from 4/10-4/20, VIB 15% off from 4/14-4/20, Insider 10% off from 4/14-4/20. All Sephora Collection will be 30% off from 4/10-4/20.

P.S. You can shop my full Sephora storefront.

And remember, you can always refer to our skincare glossary to look up ingredients.

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SKIN PREP

U Beauty — The BARRIER Bioactive Treatment

PDRN — polynucleotide — is a DNA repair ingredient that was, until recently, mostly used in clinical settings. U Beauty put it in an overnight treatment, and the result is legitimately noticeable skin texture improvement after one use. I apply it the evening before anything that matters, and my skin holds product differently the following day. It’s smoother and more receptive.

Dieux — Deliverance 3-in-1 Repair Serum

Niacinamide for redness, tranexamic acid for hyperpigmentation, peptides for barrier support — Dieux put three actives in one serum and somehow managed not to make it irritating. I have sensitive skin that reddens easily, and this is the one thing that has consistently improved my overall tone. I always like to have it on hand when I travel because it’s a fix-all for skin freakouts in new climates.

Tatcha — The Dewy Skin Cream

Hadasei-3 complex is Tatcha’s blend of green tea, rice, and algae — it sounds like a lot, but it reads on the skin as just very good hydration, the kind that plumps without pilling under anything on top of it.

Ultra Violette — Future Screen SPF 50 Mineral Sunscreen Serum

Mineral SPF without the white cast or the texture of a cream — it’s zinc-based but formulated to apply like a serum, which means it actually layers under makeup instead of balling up under it. I press it in while my skin is still slightly damp from moisturizer. SPF 50, fragrance-free, and it disappears. A perfect primer.

BASE FACE

M.ph by Mary Phillips — Underpainting Face Highlight & Contour Palette

Mary Phillips built her technique around working with the face’s existing shadow and light rather than drawing on top of it — this palette is that philosophy in product form. The contour is cool-toned and matte, which is what makes it read as shadow rather than bronzer. I apply it with a fluffy brush under the cheekbones and along the perimeter of the forehead. My face looks better in person, but in pictures it’ll really knock your socks off.

Westman Atelier — Vital Skincare Complexion Drops in Atelier III

The formula is skin-care forward — hyaluronic acid, squalane, vitamin C — so it functions as much as a treatment as a base. The finish is dewy without being wet, and Atelier III is the exact shade of my skin when it’s behaving. Apply it with a damp BeautyBlender.

Saie — Sun Melt Natural Cream Bronzer in Light Bronze

Cream formulas pick up and blend with the skin’s own oils in a way powder never quite replicates; the result looks lit rather than dusted. I use my fingers, which sounds imprecise but is actually the best tool for this: a little product warmed on the fingertips, pressed across the temples, the top of the forehead, lightly over the cheekbones. It never reads orange.

Westman Atelier — Baby Cheeks Lip + Cheek Blush Stick in Bichette

The pigment is sheer and buildable, which matters — a blush stick that goes on too intensely is almost impossible to correct! Bichette is a cool-leaning rose that mimics capillary flush, which is why it reads as your own color. I tap it on with a finger, blend upward toward the temple. It works on the lips too, pressed directly onto the center and diffused out.

Laura Mercier — Real Flawless Translucent Pressed Powder in Translucent Honey

The technique is pressing, not dusting — the included sponge picks up just enough pressed powder to set without layering. I concentrate it on the T-zone and under the eyes, where creasing happens. Translucent Honey is specifically formulated to avoid the flashback and ashiness that most translucent powders deposit on medium-to-deeper skin tones.

Saie — CitySet Ultra-Fine Mist Setting Spray

The mist is ultra-fine, which means it doesn’t disturb what’s underneath; it just softens the edges between products. I hold it about eight inches from my face, two spritzes, let it dry without touching. My makeup looks the same at 10 pm as it did at 8 am. Boom.

EYES & BROWS

Glossier — Boy Brow in Brown

The wax-and-fiber formula coats and lifts each brow hair individually rather than mattifying the whole brow into one drawn-on shape. I’ve been using it since 2016, and I have genuinely never found a reason to rotate it out. One swipe, maybe a second pass on any strays. My brows look full, groomed, and entirely like mine.

Sarah Creal — Eyes Up 24H Creamy Kajal Longwear Eyeliner in Rich Cocoa

A kajal formula means it’s soft enough to apply on the waterline without tugging, and the Rich Cocoa shade is warm enough that it opens the eye rather than making it look heavy or aged, the way black can. I apply it along the upper and lower waterlines and lightly smudge it with a fingertip. The 24-hour claim is not marketing mumbo-jumbo — I have tested this many times in the elements of New York City, and it has held!

ILIA — Fullest Volumizing Mascara

The brush is a full, rounded doe-foot shape that deposits a lot of product without requiring multiple passes — two coats and the lashes are coated, separated, and visibly thicker without any of the clumping that usually comes with volumizing formulas. It also doesn’t flake by midday, which used to be my constant complaint.

LIPS

Sarah Creal — Lip Grip Peptide Priming Treatment

The peptide complex here does two things — it fills in fine lines on the lip surface so color applies evenly, and it creates a tackiness that keeps everything on top of it from migrating. I apply a thin layer and let it set for thirty seconds before going in with color. My lip products last visibly longer when I use this. It’s not a glamorous step, but it changes the outcome.

M.ph by Mary Phillips — The Overliner Lip Liner in Double Shot

The trick with overlining is shade selection — too dark, and it looks crazy. Double Shot is a warm, skin-toned nude that maps almost exactly onto the shadow just outside my natural lip line, so the effect is volume rather than pencil. I trace about a millimeter past my lip border, then press my lips together to soften. People ask about my lips being “done”. I credit this.

Summer Fridays — Soft Serve Lip Butter Balm

A shea and mango butter base means these wear like a treatment rather than a gloss — they condition while they color. Birthday Cake is my everyday shade. The scent is also genuinely nostalgic, a little shot of joy every time you apply.

HAIR

Crown Affair — The Hair Oil

Squalane and moringa oil are the formula’s centerpiece, both of which absorb quickly and don’t oxidize the way some heavier oils do — meaning no rancid smell after a few hours, which is something I did not know to look for until I encountered it. I use a few drops, emulsified between my palms, then work through the mid-lengths and ends on damp hair before I blow-dry or after I air-dry. The shine doesn’t come at the cost of volume!

Chris McMillan — The Smooth and Tame Hair Wand

What a nifty little tool. I use it to smooth zany baby hairs on my crown and the pieces around my face, then toss it in my bag. It’s also amazing for those slick-back days. Chris McMillan has been doing Jennifer Aniston’s hair for thirty years. That's enough credentials for me!

TOOLS

Beautyblender — Original Beautyblender

A damp Beautyblender bounces rather than drags, which means it presses product into the skin for a natural-looking finish. Product doesn’t sink into the sponge either, so a little bit goes a long way. It is not replaceable by any “dupe” I’ve tried.

Sephora Collection — The Total Brush Set

Brush density and shape determine whether a product diffuses or deposits — a too-sparse brush sheers out the color you wanted opaque; a too-dense one places product exactly where you don’t want it. This set is well-engineered for the price: the tapered powder brush is the one I use daily for bronzer and blush, the flat foundation brush doubles as a contour tool, and the smaller detail brushes are precise without being fussy. Everything you need, without an eye-watering price tag. All Sephora Collection will be 30% off from 4/10-4/20.

Shiseido — Eyelash Curler

The curl bar is slightly wider than most, which means it catches more lashes per press and holds the curve without crimping. I clamp at the base for three seconds, then walk the curler up the lash in two more passes. Nothing I’ve found makes my eyes look more open without any product involved. An un-skippable step!

SHOP THE SALE

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• Maybe it’s all the tulips in my house right now, but I’m especially into PINK this spring. Liffner has a powdery lizard turnlock clutch that hearkens to the glam boudoir vibe of The Grill’s ladies’ room (a suede option from Khaite if you fear no liquid), while Westman Atelier just launched their blockbuster Baby Cheeks stick in a peppy shade of watermelon. Donni’s taffeta silk pants somehow make more sense with a perfect white tee than a fancy shoe. Toteme has slim and crispy shirting. Attersee has a bubblegum cotton shirtdress that’s already restocking after an early-season sellout. Even Maria McManus is getting in on the season's shade: her new denim collaboration with AGOLDE centers the color on slouchy, oversized silhouettes — my favorite is this shirt. Or maybe just a little something, like a tiny Hermes change purse or the wink of pink embroidery on Sezane’s enduring Conrad t-shirt?

• Speaking of pink, is the new Chanel giving fashion permission to be fun again?

• It’s officially TRENCH WEATHER. Some of us wait all year for this important but fleeting moment. Today I learned from that “it’s called a trench coat because it’s what people would wear during WWI while literally (digging) in the trenches in the rain.” Fashion, you’re the weirdest! Anyway, Toteme seems to have cornered the market this season with a panoply of options; fire engine red, caped, car coat, slinky satin… taste the rainbow, baby.

• Kallmeyer has finally given us that tremendously cool scarf blazer from last season’s runway. I do love a subversively preppy navy when the weather warms. If scarves aren’t your thing, RUADH has a slick riff on the style in a decisive cut.

• Speaking of outerwear, if last spring was dominated by the barn jacket, this one is all about the windbreaker. Options? The limit does not exist. Rohe! Attersee! TWP! Saint Laurent! Idk if this Dries is technically more trench-y, but the vibes qualify.

• Doen just issued a sexy collab with optical brand Garrett Leight — the retro “Ingenue” style cries out for a headscarf and a 1960’s convertible. After the bonnet/babushka winter we had, I definitely feel a headscarf summer brewing…

• Easter is right around the bend, which means if you’re old-fashioned and obey “the rules”, permission to wear white is nearly granted. But none of that stuffy attitude here: why wait? I like Tibi’s weirdo exposed-seam jeans (which closed the spring runway), the architecture of FFORME and Rohe’s sculptural cotton pieces, and the dorky-cool, twee way The Row has styled their evergreen Liisa pumps with a white sock.

• I’m headed back to Palm Beach, where it’s always Easter Sunday… at least judging by the way women dress there. And while I’m all for a (vintage!) Lilly or Pucci moment, I think the coolest girls are taking the splashy colors and prints of coastal Florida into their own hands, embracing dress brands like Alemais, Cala de la Cruz, Zankov, and Temily, or leaning into their sportier side with clubby (bath and tennis club, not night club) bits from Prada and High Sport. I would sooner have a lobotomy than wear a print in most cases, so catch me in lightweight, resort-appropriate solids from Matteau, Alaia, and Khaite that will pull double-duty out East this summer.

• Polo shirts are really having a moment, aren’t they? I like the classic sportswear vibes of this High Sport number and this baby from Soft Goat, but the dangerously plunging neckline of this Prada would be so cool over a swimsuit if you got it like that.

• These look really hot on the foot. Same with these.

• Emme Parsons’ new spring arrivals are all yum, but these in particular are singing my song for their ability to morph from a day to evening shoe.

• I guess it was inevitable that Desert Vintage would collaborate with The Row. But with their keen sourcing, they have also countered the argument of every person who has complained to me that there’s no such thing as a cool puffer. Boom. (See also.)

• So… Gala pants, but make them shorts? I’m in.

• I want this for my wedding day SO MUCH.

• The Rare Finds section of The Real Real is really something. Like, hello?

• I would like to carry a bitch around in this.

• Thank you, God, Allah, Jesus, The Universe, The Divine, and for Crown Affair’s repackaged dry shampoo in a cute purse-sized container!!!

• I dare you to wear one of these.

• You’re about to see these on every Row-clad minimalist influencer out there (complimentary).

• Has anyone tried Paire? Please report back.

• My parting style challenge to you this week: how about a little electric blue? Maybe like this, or this, or this? If you take the dare, lmk.

TWP’s vibe lands somewhere between a Helmut Newton shoot and a Nancy Meyers movie. The clothes represent an idyllic version of the peripatetic woman’s life, one who exists equally in town and country.

Founder and Designer Trish Wescoat Pound has one of the better second-act stories in American fashion. She built Haute Hippie into a $40 million business, lost it in 2015, retreated to her pattern room, and came back a few years later selling shirts to friends at Miami trunk shows.

One of those friends ran into Andrew Rosen — co-founder of Theory, and as it happened, Trish’s first boss — who complimented the shirt. By the time that lunch ended, TWP had a business partner. That origin story matters because it explains everything about the clothes: they started as something a woman made for women she actually knew, and they have never stopped being exactly that.

TWP is almost five years old and already on the CFDA calendar. The line — made within a two-block radius in SoHo, cut from Italian fabrics — has developed the kind of fervor that produces scenes like the one I recently saw in Palm Beach, where women descended on her clothes in hordes. I sat down with Trish to talk about starting over, what she puts in her bag, and why thong underwear is, um.. behind her.

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Jess Graves: You just introduced bags! Which are you reaching for most right now — and what’s actually inside it?

Trish Wescoat Pound: Right now, it’s our Howard Street Bag. I made one for myself in dark chocolate python - rich, understated, a little dangerous in the best way. It feels grounded but still indulgent. Very Paris.

JG: What’s in it at the moment?

TWP: Honestly? A hot mess. I organize it every morning with the best intentions, but by midday, it’s chaos again. I’m one of those people who has to set the entire bag on the ground and excavate it to find anything, no matter how carefully I’ve arranged it hours before. Inside right now, somewhere:

• My  Passport,  airline tickets, and a baggage claim stub

• The best pencils, some post-its, a leather notebook… plus a stack of linesheets

• Chantecaille mascara

• Westman Atelier coverup, blush, lips

• David Mallet salt spray

It’s a traveling office, vanity, and filing cabinet all at once.

JG: What’s the last thing you bought that solved a real problem in your day-to-day life?

TWP: A Topologie phone cord - the kind you can wear around your neck. Jorden Bickham introduced me to them. I was constantly losing my phone - in taxis, showrooms, and buried in my bag. It was becoming ridiculous. Now it just lives on me. Mine is bright green, which I love. It solved a very real, very daily problem. And I haven’t lost my phone since!

JG: Ooh, good for travel too. What’s one object you’ll never travel without, no matter how short the trip?

TWP: My Boy Crew sweater. I genuinely won’t go anywhere without it. Beaches, cities, flights - it’s always with me. There’s something about a great cashmere sweater that feels like armor and comfort at the same time. I love cashmere in general, but this one in particular has become a constant. It works everywhere — thrown over a slip dress, with denim, over a swimsuit, wrapped around my shoulders on a flight. The piece that makes wherever I am feel familiar!

JG: What’s the most beautiful functional object you own?

TWP: This question makes me want to buy more beautiful, functional things. I love a flask. For our Fall runway show, we made flasks designed to be worn around the neck. It’s practical, a little rebellious - definitely a conversation starter. Mine only has tequila in it. There’s something I’m always drawn to about objects that live in that space between utility and adornment. When something works hard but also makes a statement - that’s when it feels truly considered.

JG: I saw those flasks at the runway show and coveted them immediately. So decadent and cool! Where do you splurge without hesitation — and where are you surprisingly disciplined?

TWP: I splurge on travel - unapologetically. Travel, travel, travel. And food that truly feeds me. Experiences that expand me, inspire me, and change my perspective. I would spend my last dollar on a plane ticket or a meal that feels transporting. For me, those things are creative fuel. They inform how I see color, texture, people, and movement. Disciplined might not be the word I’d use to describe myself - not exactly my calling card. But I can be surprisingly restrained with the small, transactional things. Groceries, for example. The escalation of everyday costs feels outrageous to me, so I’ll question the little purchases. I’m thoughtful about the ordinary.

JG: What’s the most complimented item in your wardrobe?

TWP: My long reversible shearling coat. It never fails. I’m stopped constantly when I wear it. I’ve always believed outerwear makes the outfit. You can be in the simplest thing underneath - even sweats - but throw on the right coat and the entire look shifts. Sweats under shearling is actually one of my favorite combinations. It’s chic, but it’s also deeply functional - the balance I’m always chasing. (Our Long Aspen is unfortunately sold out, but we do have a shorter version available.)

JG: What’s a piece you’ve owned for years that still feels relevant every time you use it?

TWP: Vintage Levi’s just get better. A truly great pair is life-changing. The fit, the weight of the denim, and the way they soften over time. They work with everything, too: a button-down, a cashmere crew, a tailored coat, heels, or boots.

JG: God, good vintage denim just cannot be improved upon. What’s your non-negotiable when it comes to design — the thing you always notice first?

TWP: Fabrication. Always. It’s where we start. Andrew and I are truly fabric geeks. We work closely with our Italian mills and spend an enormous amount of time on development. The hand is the foundation. Something can look incredible on a hanger or in a photo, but if the hand isn’t right - if the fabric doesn’t feel as good as it looks - I won’t buy it. If the material doesn’t support the price point, it’s a no for me. The other non-negotiable is fit. You can have the most beautiful fabric in the world, but if the fit is off, it doesn’t matter.

JG: I agree. What’s the point if it doesn’t fit? I ruthlessly edit by those same standards. In that spirit, what’s one thing you’ve stopped buying altogether?

TWP: Thong underwear. At some point, I just decided: no more. Comfort wins, always.

JG: I cannot think of anything less cool than a thong. Discomfort is not luxurious. What does “luxury” actually mean to you, in practice?

TWP: Luxury is an intention. It’s time - time to develop something properly, to think it through, not to rush it. It’s ease - pieces that truly work in a woman’s life - ones she reaches for without thinking. And, ultimately, it’s quality and longevity. Something that stays relevant, that lives in your wardrobe for years. That, to me, is real luxury.

JG: Buy fewer, better things, take good care of them, wear them often! My ethos, too. It helps you edit mentally, as well. If someone wanted to understand your taste in five objects or fewer, what would you point them to?

1. TWP: Chunky cashmere. A substantial crew — especially at the end of cashmere season when it’s perfectly worn in.

2. Sneakers or worn-in Birks. Right now, I’m in the SFTM Adidas collaboration, but an old pair of Birkenstocks I’ve lived in says just as much. I like the contrast - polished but easy.

3. Vintage Levi’s. Denim on denim, always. I love my Levi’s.

4. Jewelry with meaning. A lab-grown diamond choker, or a stack of signet rings - with my daughter’s initials, mine. Pieces that are personal, worn for a reason.

5. A great bag or a piece of outerwear. One strong finishing piece. A great coat or bag can carry everything else. That combination - texture, ease, sentiment, and one defining statement - feels like me.

JG: Birkenstocks and denim, a perfect weekend uniform. Describe your perfect Sunday.

TWP: Home. In bed, watching a documentary or a great movie, with Jillian and my dog Theo. Simple. Or waking up in Paris together, heading straight to our favorite flea market, Paul Bert at Saint-Ouen. A sunny, full day spent walking around, inspired by all the objects of desire one can find there.

More Designer Dossier…

Greetings from somewhere above the Atlantic. I’m returning to the city after what may have been my best birthday ever. It kicked off with seeing Harry Styles play both host and musical guest at Saturday Night Live (a birthday treat hooked up by a very cool friend), followed by a glamorous after-party at The Grill.

Harry’s LEWKS were as exciting to me as the show itself — he donned everything from new Chanel to women’s Valentino, then finished strong with Zoe Kravitz at the afters wearing that new Connor Ives:

I got about three hours of sleep and was back on a plane by 11 am the following morning. (I wore this comfy French terry polo and pant set with a Row trench.)

Despite a couple of re-routes due to closed Presidential airspace (woof), we touched down in Palm Beach in plenty of time for a celebratory birthday dinner at Donna Karan’s swanky new waterfront restaurant, Tutto al Mare (yes, sister to Sag Harbor and Southampton’s al Giorno), with friends old and new. (We were too busy celebrating to watch the Oscars, but my favorite looks were Jessie Buckley, styled by Danielle Goldberg, and Pedro Pascal’s custom Chanel.)

After a relaxing handful of days, I’m headed into the next year of my life feeling rested and deliriously happy, having had a phenomenal trip where people really showed up for me and made me feel special.

Cheers to the privilege of aging.

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• In Palm Beach, we stayed in the Goop Villa at The Colony Hotel, which was just as chic and well-appointed as I remember it. I went for the opening a few years ago when everything was brand new, and they’ve kept it up well. This is my third time staying there, so it felt homey and familiar. (Every detail is considered, thanks in no small part to , who played a heavy hand in designing it.) If you’re traveling with a group, the villa has two spacious bedrooms and three beds, plus a gracious living area and functional kitchen. The hotel is dog-friendly, as is the villa, and we had a great time hanging out at Swifty’s and people-watching. I don’t know if it was the salty air, the pin-quiet bedroom, or the deep soaking tub, but I slept like a baby. It reminded me of why I keep choosing to stay here. Perfect for a girl’s trip.

  

• I didn’t peek at the brand of the sheets in the villa, but they made me miss my bed at home. Not that they were bad! But the crispy cotton of my own percale sets (I mention this because they’re on sale for 20% off rn) makes me homesick when I’m away — they are just so good, especially if you get hot at night. I truly missed them! They regulate my body temp like nothing else. I can’t wait to crawl into them tonight with my puppies.

• My skin loves the Florida humidity. I have to do so little when I’m in the 561! I just washed my face with Biologique Recherche Lait Dermo-S, slapped on a moisturizing sunscreen, and topped it with Victoria Beckham’s trusty Foundation Drops. A few taps of Saie blush, a swipe of Farah Homidi gloss, and I was done. I didn’t even bother with eye makeup.

• Gotta say, humidity doesn’t stress me out now that my hair is long. I just let it air-dry and do its thing (shout-out Nutrafol! Shout out Crown Affair! Shout-out Minoxidil!) when I’m at the beach.

• I have a whole-leg skincare protocol pre-beach: dry-brush, apply Lilis peel to dry legs, rinse. VEET! Then swipe with an exfoliating pad (I like Barefaced polishing pads or their toning pads). I promise you, no bumps, and you won’t even need to pack your razor.

• We had all kinds of fun with this little Super 8-ish camera that looks analog but acts digital. I stashed it in my bag just about everywhere we went and deputized a friend to grab footage. Bonus: it kept us off our phones.

• You’ve probably heard how great the vintage and estate shopping is in Palm Beach, and the rumors are not exaggerated. Lots of wildly rich old people in God’s waiting room, plus gobs of women who ditch wardrobes at the end of the season = wild stuff proliferating the resale shops. The Real Real produced some treasures, but won the day with a great Schiaparelli jacket we found hidden in an offbeat rack. We also did a lightning round at The Church Mouse, the infamous island-based thrift shop where you can find everything from kitschy seashell earrings for $15 to an 80’s Escada tweed suit for $200. I found a little “Town of Palm Beach Police” pin for $2 — a funny inside joke with my Uncle Brad, who, when we lived down there, always used to love to remind me that it’s the only police force in the country where a college degree is required. There’s also a fabulous edit at What Goes Around and a litany of funky consignment shops on Dixie Highway in the Soso district. I always stop on Georgia Avenue to peek at Casa Gusto, too — their boundless imagination with antiques always leaves me agog.

• On the second day of our trip, the skies opened up, and it poured. We made the best of it by doing some soggy shopping on Worth Avenue, where I was on a mission to find my “something blue” for the wedding. We hit all the good estate jewelry stores looking for all things sparkly and sapphire (Richter’s is still the best curation), but came up empty-handed. We didn’t fall short otherwise, though. We found incredible cottons and silks at Kattatly’s, where Mr. Kassatly was still holding court in the century-old linen shop. He helped us pick out quilted housecoats, pajamas, and tableclothes and told us stories about Palm Beach in the 1920’s, when his father ran the shop. After that, we wandered to my favorite little Italian paper shop, Il Papiro, all the way down at the end of Worth. The place is stocked to the hilt with hand-marbled home goods and stationery, and I had a new wastebasket on my wish list. We stopped into Chanel for curiosity’s sake, but they had, predictably, a very geriatric buy — and none of the new Blazy out.

• All this vintage scouting around sent me on a late-night Vestiaire Collective dig. They have a sleepy selection of designer and fine jewelry, but it hits: these Dior earrings, this Cartier cabochon brooch, these David Webb frog cufflinks, and this Dior collar necklace are all destined for some cool collector.

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Wow, y’all really got worked up about the anonymous “Fashion Substacker” making 275k in New York Magazine. First of all, no, it isn’t me. The magazine did reach out and ask me to participate, but I was hyper focused on editing one of the essays in my book and never got back to them. When the number was published, it went bonkers across this platform. Substack even internally reached out to me trying to sniff out the person, presumably to celebrate her, but I think it’s telling what a stir this has made.

It’s my birthday this week, and I wasn’t going to publish a letter. A little break! But no, the internalized misogyny of the internet never rests.

Nobody gasps when a male finance bro announces his bonus. Nobody clutches their pearls when a male podcaster reveals his ad revenue.

A major publication offered to profile my business: to tell the story of The Love List properly, with real numbers, context, the actual arc of what it takes to build something like this. And everyone I trust (people who know this industry, who love me) told me not to do it. Every single one of them said the same thing: it will put a target on your back.

And they’re right. I know they’re right! Because I make significantly more than 275k doing this, and the reaction to that anonymous woman’s number was already uncomfortable enough.

I have been building The Love List for almost twenty years. Through every format shift and platform change and industry implosion, through the death of print and the rise of social and the pivot to newsletters. I have been doing this work, consistently, longer than some of my readers have been adults. And I cannot publicly say what that work is worth without bracing for the kind of scrutiny that no male founder of a twenty-year media brand would ever face. That is the part that makes me tired. Not the work, but the freakin’ calculus I have to do around simply telling the truth about it.

The assumption — baked in, often unconscious — is that a woman writing about beauty and fashion for other women is a hobby dressed up as a job. That the work is soft, so the money should be too. That taste and curation and the labor of genuine expertise don’t count as “real work”. They do!

I got declined for an apartment I wanted once because the guy simply did not believe my income. He could not fathom that a girl writing to girls about girl stuff could make a girl rich. He then asked me to submit financials for my Tax Attorney husband-to-be.

The disdain is even worse, because it isn’t just surprise, it’s resentment. The sense that she “got away” with something. That money attached to a women, attached to a “frivolous” subject, is somehow obscene! It isn’t. What’s obscene is the reflex!!

And can we please retire the idea that this business model is some kind of scam waiting to be exposed? Subscriptions and advertising are how every magazine, newspaper, and media company has made money since the printing press.

This is not a trick. There is no trapdoor. Women building audiences, cultivating trust, and monetizing that relationship through brand partnerships and reader subscriptions is not a hustle that deserves an investigative piece — it’s just media, functioning exactly as it always has. The only thing new is who’s holding the revenue. Newsletters like this one operate on the same fundamental logic as Condé Nast, just without the corporate infrastructure and the thirty-person masthead.

The framing that there's something to expose here, that newsletters like this one owe the internet a confession, is condescending. I make recommendations. My readers trust me because I've earned it, and some of those recommendations come with affiliate revenue or paid partnerships, all of which I disclose. And if the model bothers you, you have options: You can unsubscribe. You can opt out. You can go read something written by someone who makes less money and see if that improves your experience. The free will is right there. Use it.

I am telling you this: the discomfort or disbelief you feel when a woman is compensated well for work you’ve decided isn’t serious is yours to deal with. I’ve got a newsletter to write.

Spring doesn’t arrive gradually. One morning, the light is doing something different through the window, it’s 60 degrees, and you think: Oh, there you are.

That’s the feeling this issue is chasing. The glee of reaching past the dark wools and grabbing the thing you’ve been dying for the right weather to excuse. Think of it as your wardrobe’s personality hire: a huge earring, a tassel that shimmies, unexpected color clashes, freaky sunglasses, open toes!

These pieces are your morale booster after a long, looooong winter. Big, bright, loud, joyful, ready to meet the sunshine! It’s time for some dopamine again.

(Minimalists: I didn’t forget you. Stay tuned for part two.)

Shop The Full Spring Edit Here

1: OSSOU shirt and denim, Balenciaga bag and shoes, Westman Atelier lipstick

2: Lisa Eisner earrings, Khaite top, SEA NY pants, Savette bag, Emme Parsons sandals

3: Celine scarf, Dior sunglasses, The Row trench, High Sport knit and pants, Toteme pumps, A.EMERY clutch

4: CO top, Lisa Eisner earrings, AFLALO pants, Attersee bag, Loewe sandals

5: Prada coat, RUADH jeans, The Row bag, Khaite sandals

6: Kallmeyer jacket, The Row pants, Saint Laurent sunglasses, Bottega Veneta earrings, LIE Studio bag, Alex Mill flats

7: Toteme trench, OSSOU jeans, Dorsey earrings, Janessa Leone bag, Khaite pumps

8: Le Sundial necklace, Eckhaus Latta for J.Crew sweater, RUADH jeans, St. Agni bag, Celine comb, Khaite pumps

9: Khaite brooch, Mietta coat, Comme Si slip dress, Juju Vera clutch, Herbert Levine hosiery boots, Khaite x Oliver Peoples sunglasses

10: Rohe shirt, Wardrobe.nyc shorts, TWP x Gigi Burris hat, The Row bag and sandals, Sofie Pavitt sunscreen (THELOVELIST15), Crown Affair Air Dry Cream (THELOVELIST)

11: Attersee t-shirt, Mare Perpetua pants, Metiter sunglasses and earphones case, Hermes wine basket, Yvonne Leon signet ring, Khaite sandals

12: Rohe knit, Prada sunglasses and pouch, Proenza Schouler skirt, Emme Parsons sandals

13: Kallmeyer scarf and shorts, Doen sweater, Proenza Schouler bag, Heavenly Jelly jellies

13: Linda Farrow sunglasses, RUADH jacket (alt), Toteme earrings, Rohe shirt and shorts, Celine bag, Saint Laurent bag charm, McQueen pumps

14: Dries van Noten scarf, Rise and Fall trench, Ruadh jeans, The Row sweatshirt, Cordera bag, The Row loafers

16: Jacques Marie Mage sunglasses, Miu Miu bomber, OSSOU jeans, Bottega Veneta bag, Proenza Schouler sneakerinas

17: Frankie Shop blazer, The Veil bag, Kallmeyer scarf, Valentino pumps, Proenza Schouler pants, Bob Beaute face mist (THELOVELIST15)

Good morning, friends!

First, Louise Trotter’s first collection for Bottega Veneta is now available to shop online. There are toothsome resin earrings, a plucked and feathered Andiamo clutch, and loads of ooey gooey suiting that contrasts beautifully with the collection’s sharp foot and eyewear. And while we’re on the topic of capital-I Important Female Designers, Phoebe Philo dropped more of Collection D yesterday, though I still don’t see the plaid pieces or fuzzy coats still to come.

The Love List has long celebrated and elevated female designers, but we have a sweet spot for the scrappy, independent women leading their own charge. My bloodhound nose for that kind of gal led me to Sonia Mosseri of buzzy NYC denim brand Still Here, which she co-founded with her husband Maurice. The couple are Brooklyn-born high school sweethearts who funded their first production run with their wedding gift money—$20,000—and built the brand into an eight-figure business without a dollar of outside funding. Still Here launched in 2019 with an exclusive at Barneys (RIP), and has since opened three of its own stores in New York: Nolita, Madison Avenue, and Williamsburg.

The origin story is a good one: Sonia’s father, an Egyptian-Jewish immigrant who came to the U.S. to escape persecution, wore a single pair of Levi’s through a decade of school, patched up by her grandmother every time they ripped. He eventually passed them down to Sonia, and that pair became the founding obsession. Every Still Here jean is 100% cotton—no stretch, no synthetic fibers—designed in New York, hand-finished in LA, and built to break in over time.

Jeans retail from $235 to $280, with hand-painted styles up to $425. Taylor Swift, Kaia Gerber, Hailey Bieber, and Emma Chamberlain have all worn them. I sat down with Sonia and Maurice to talk about building a brand on instinct, what most denim companies get wrong, and why 100% cotton is a hill they’re willing to die on.

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Jess Graves: Denim is one of the most emotionally loaded categories in fashion. What was your original relationship to denim before you ever thought about starting a brand?

Sonia Mosseri: My father gave me his childhood jeans when I was younger as a memento from his childhood. His family immigrated from Egypt to New York when he was 7 with little to no belongings. My grandmother got him a pair of jeans for school, told him to size up (to last longer!), and he wore them throughout his youth. They have a ton of memories engrained in them: ink stains, patches hand sewn on by my grandmother, etc.. They’ve been in my safe forever, but are now hanging at our Williamsburg store. This jump-started my love for jeans, as they are one of the only garments that get more valuable with wear. They capture time and memory.

Since getting this pair as a gift from my Father, I amassed an extensive vintage jean collection (most of which I painted on and sold at the start of Still Here). It was my hunt - my sport!

On a more personal level, my relationship with wearing jeans and a white t-shirt was always a crutch between different phases of my personal styling. When I would hit a lull in inspiration, I would always revert to this timeless “American Uniform”. This was an eye-opening realization that ultimately served as one of the impetuses for starting Still Here.

JG: You’re a couple and creative partners. What does your collaboration look like day-to-day, and where do your instincts most naturally diverge?

Maurice Mosseri: Sonia and I each have distinct core strengths, but having been together for so long, we also share a unified vision for both the brand and the business. Early on, that overlap created daily friction, so we quickly realized we needed clearly defined focuses to avoid stepping on each other’s toes. Today, Sonia leads all creative and brand direction, and I oversee all things operationally on the business side. We collaborate closely almost daily on strategy. Beyond being a visionary creative, Sonia is an exceptionally sharp business person.

JG: How do you think about growth without diluting what made Still Here feel special in the first place?

MM: It’s really difficult to scale a brand and hold onto those elements. I often talk about the natural tension between Brand and Business, and that our goal should always be to strike a healthy balance between the two. Brand, in this context, is all things that help grow our allure and mystique, but don’t necessarily generate any amenable ROI / any money, and “business” is the exact opposite- it’s a focus on optimizing for sales growth and the capitalist agenda that comes with that. The only way I believe you can do this effectively is to apply this filter to all major decision-making. If it helps the business more than it helps the brand, you need to reinvest in the brand; vice versa. It’s a balancing act that proves even more difficult when you’re self-funded and cash flow the business entirely.

JG: You’ve expanded beyond jeans into ready-to-wear. What told you it was time, and how did you decide what Still Here tops, layers, and silhouettes should look like?

SM: After building our jean business for a few years, we realized our customers were also interested in the pieces we were pairing with the jeans. We’d very often get asked, “Great jeans, and where is the top from?” We saw a clear appetite for expansion into other categories as our community wanted more from us. We think about category expansion more as context than the main character. We are and always will be a jeans company first. The ready-to-wear pieces are incredibly fun to design, style with, and dress our girl from head to toe.

The approach to design is “Everyday Dressing” - a term we use daily. It is a collection of clothing you can wear daily and in a dynamic way. Following that philosophy, we launched Colors, our basics line, two years ago. We describe Colors as a “Dressing System”: a group of basics that can be worn together or separately, the perfect tops to pair with jeans.

Each fit is released in limited runs of different colors that we call Chapters. It is inspired by a good tee stack in anyone’s closet or at a vintage store. As we release each Chapter, we watch our customers’ “Stacks” grow taller (and they’re each so personal in their color assortments).

The response to Colors has been incredible, and building it alongside the jeans has been seamless. (Chapter 4 is a long sleeve thumby shirt - perfect for layering - available on 2/26 at 11 am ET on stillhere.nyc and in our NY stores.)

JG: Denim brands often live or die by fit. What’s your philosophy when it comes to designing jeans that women actually want to live in?

SM: I design butt first. I think at the end of the day, when a woman puts on jeans, it’s the first thing she checks. But there are so many elements to designing jeans, and I am super fussy about the fit. That is why we don’t often release new fits. I believe there can be a finite amount of jeans in a person’s closet, and we’re taking up time releasing them. Aside from fit, hand-feel is super important. I like the feeling of substantial heavy weight 100% cotton jeans. I think a person feels a garment like that and immediately says - “yeah, those are to do life in.”

JG: Becoming new parents while running and growing a fashion brand is no small thing. How has parenthood shifted your priorities — creatively, emotionally, or operationally?

SM: We are so damn in it right now. Parenthood keeps us in check. It is both exciting and extremely challenging to build a family and a business at the same time. We have insane days at work running this very different sort of fashion start-up, then come home to what feels like 3 more start-ups (ha!). On most days, I leave work a bit early, go home for dinner, a bath, and bedtime, and once the kids are asleep, I’ll be online working until late. It is crazy. I’ve gotten better at it as the team has grown, thankfully, but it truly feels like there are not enough hours in the day. Ever.

Creatively and emotionally, parenthood keeps me light and whimsical. I think it allows me to hold on to my silliness, even on a hard day. It allows me to hold on to perspective at times when work feels overwhelmingly scary. And it humbles me every day. I am so grateful.

JG: Has having a child changed how you think about legacy — both personally and for the brand?

SM: It isn’t an easy thing to leave your kids to go to work. Especially for me, I was lucky to be raised by such an incredible Mom who gave me so much ‘Mom time’. She worked from home part-time and dedicated her life to my sisters and me, so I am doing it very differently from how I was raised. I deal with a lot of Mom guilt because of it. So I often revert to this thought of legacy and the idea that one day I will have the perspective that it will all be worth it; that my kids will be so proud of what their parents built. Immediately, I hold onto the idea that my kids are watching their parents work really hard, and that is so valuable.

JG: What does “success” look like to you right now, as opposed to when you first started Still Here?

MM: For the first six years of Still Here, we were in pure survival mode. We knew almost no small brands make it in this industry- especially without outside capital, real infrastructure, or any prior experience. So it was just day-to-day (and night) grinding and learning everything the hard way. Back then, success was simply not feeling like we might disappear completely in three months. Paying myself a modest salary felt like a huge success. A celebrity organically wearing the brand felt like success. Breaking a major luxury retailer or even just investor interest all felt validating.

Today it’s different for sure. Getting from zero to one was incredibly satisfying, but now success looks like building the brand to its full potential without losing that special spark or ourselves in the process. Elevating Still Here in a way that’s organic and disciplined, while also being a present spouse, parent, and friend, and making space for personal interests. Balance now feels like a real win. Building something truly meaningful without it coming at the expense of everything else feels like success to me today.

JG: When you imagine Still Here five years from now, what do you hope feels exactly the same, and what do you hope has evolved?

MM: At the consumer level- I hope the feeling of finding your perfect jeans never goes away. Internally, I hope it always feels this exciting, fun, and holistic to be building every day. At the same time, in 5 years, I’d hope to see the brand capture more market share in multiple categories. I’d also hope to see the business evolve in a healthy way, incorporating a stronger structure that we can continue to build on.

SHOP STILL HERE NOW

JG: How would you describe your design ethos? If someone raided your closet, what story would they piece together about your life?

SM: I dress pretty classically and comfortably — it has to work for building Still Here in New York and being a mom. Nothing feels loud, but there’s always a detail that makes it personal. Most of what I wear is vintage or heritage American pieces I’ve collected over the years, mixed with Still Here. Lots of good layers, shapes, colors and classic fabrics (wool, silk, etc..). In the winter, I love a special hat; in the summer, it’s a staple flip-flop and a puka shell necklace. It’s easy, but never accidental.

JG: What’s in your cart right now?

SM: The Row’s Marcel bag, this baby mobile, a sterling silver ruler charm, a meadow phone, a grey Thurston hat, this vintage stool, a rock tumbler, Alaia sandals, a Richard Diebenkorn book, these Gaetano Sciolari lamps, more glass Ikea containers, this insane cup (I love cups), Hywl perfume - my signature scent!

JG: What was the last piece of culture (book, film, meme, essay, anything) that felt like a breath of fresh air?

SM: I just watched “Train Dreams”, and it was incredibly moving. Makes me want to go off the grid. Also pretty deep into the Steve Jobs book, which has absolutely changed my life as a creative person. And I swear by Hunt Gather Parent - on the parenting side of things.

MM: “Sentimental Value” was my type of film. I read a lot of nonfiction and behavioral finance books, but especially loved The Art of Spending Money by Morgan Housel, which is cleverly pretty much the opposite of what its title suggests (I had to remove the book cover to read in public).

JG: What’s on your playlist right now?

MM: Donnie & Joe Emerson, Shuggie Otis, Drugdealer, SAULT, ASAP Rocky, MF Doom

SM: Khruangbin, Fred Again, King Krule, Geese, LCD Soundsystem, Eliot Smith!

JG: What’s the fashion archive piece you’re always hunting for but haven’t found yet?

SM: I am always on the hunt for the elusive “top” you can wear to dinner, or to a party - I end up buying more button-downs or blazers, which do not check the box. It’s a bad cycle.

JG: Describe your perfect Sunday.

SM: If I can drink my coffee in the morning hot without having to microwave it multiple times, Pizza store for lunch, Central Park with the kids scootering around the pond, us adults people watching and getting sun, hit a vintage or antique store, early dinner at home, movie, and a cold Arak with Maurice, asleep before 10.

MORE DESIGNER DOSSIERS THIS WAY

It’s blizzard weather in NYC again. All of this hunkering down has made me even more focused on improving my sleep, which has never been all that great. Lately, though, I feel like I’ve finally cracked the code — and while my pajamas and skincare stay luxe, my most treasured sleep hacks are more affordable.

We’re side sleepers, so I wanted a soft mattress that wouldn’t make my hips sore, and I found it in the Helix Sunset Elite (yes, they also have a great firm option and even an organic style engineered from all-natural materials — code THELOVELIST for 27% off). I have a down featherbed strapped over it, and it’s as comfy and plush as being coddled by a cloud. I like a mix of firm and soft pillows and have been surprised by how great these down pillows are (we use medium/soft). We now have two mixed in with our other four from Pillow Bar.

As far as sheets go, it’s white percale for me, all day, every day. I have a lot of different sets from various brands that I mix and match. The dogs love to curl up on our giant Lola Blanket, which we throw on the foot of the bed for them. But the comfiest bed in the world won’t do much if you’re light- and sound-sensitive with a snoring partner and wiggly pups like me.

The real unlock was The High Confectionery’s Go To Sleep gummies (THELOVELIST20), which are a gentle mix of 1mg THC, 1mg CBD, 1mg CBN, and 1mg melatonin. These, plus the right foam earplugs, have turned me from a “bad sleeper” who always woke up tired into someone who’s zooted by 10 and up by 7. My Sleep Crown (I lovingly call it my “smush”) is forever the cherry on top. I like two — one for under my head and one to rest on my face.

If I really want to guarantee myself a zonk-out, I’ll take a hot bath before bed with Saint Jane Deep Sleep bath salts (something about this brand in particular is magic) and a Kate McLeod sleep stone or Susanne Kaufmann bath oil (THELOVELIST15) to soften skin and gently fragrance the steam. I’ll have a CANN roadie (I like the lemon lavender or the grapefruit rosemary) poured over an iced diet ginger ale as my “nightcap”.

Winter hibernation mode has a way of making me examine all my little routines — not just sleep, but the mundane daily stuff I never think to reconsider until I’m snowbound with nowhere to be. Below, the products and practices I’ve landed on this season that I plan to carry well past the thaw.

• Dear : Are we taking the “wrong shoe” and now adding “the wrong pants” to our rotations? Please weigh in. Because the pants are getting weird, (like, so weird) and I love it. Not to be left out, the shorts are getting longer and weirder, too.

• Ruadh only showed new pieces IRL last week, and they’re already available for preorder on Moda. I’m looking at this trusty, sturdy field jacket, this rad chartreuse knit, and a pair of Jac’s perfect jeans.

• George Cortina for JMM and Linda Farrow are both on my sunglasses wish list:

• Every once in a while, there’s a runway moment tailor-made for the Substack girls, and last spring, this Gigi Burris x TWP hat was one of them. It’s now available to order. They’d look great with this season’s tarp bags, which, despite going down the runway mere days ago, are ready to ship. Go forth quickly!

• This fucking coat.

• A peppy red bag in a pragmatic shape that calls out for white cotton — but I’m also drawn to this funky beaded Lemaire number… and these sandals with a white dress… UGH, spring, where are you?

• This necklace reminds me of those old red gumball machines on iron stands in the best possible way.

• How many leather jackets are too many? Asking for a friend.

• I am begging someone to wear this to my wedding.

• The new Desert Vintage in Paris is a sight to behold:

• I don’t take a ton of supplements, but I do like Ritual’s Hyacera (JESS-G25) because it really does make my skin look juicier. And new to us (but loving) is a nutritionist-founded brand called Needed (code EARLYLOVE for 30% off) — we’ve been taking the men’s and women’s daily multivitamins, respectively.

• Westman Atelier has launched HydroBalm, a dewy lipstick-meets-balm that leaves lips looking hydrated with a subtle swish of color. Sheer and soft, yum. My top three shades: Cafe Creme, English Rose, and Bob.

• I have both a ski trip and a beach trip lined up in the next 30 days, which means my sunscreen stack needs to be highly locked in. I love to use Ultra Violette Future Screen after moisturizer and before makeup — it evens skintone and makes a great primer. On top of that? I’m not sure how ColorScience’s products ended up in my hands (gifting gods, you elude me!) but um… wow? Their SunForgettable tinted sunscreen is SPF 50, has a broad shade range, and finishes as nicely as top-shelf foundations. Used in tandem with Ciele’s SPF concealer under my eyes, I honestly have no further worries about sun protection, either on the slopes or the shores.

• Extravagant but useful buy: my Metier sunglasses/earphone case keeps my corded headphones and eyeglasses handy, whether I tie the cord around my bag handle, put it on my neck, or just drop it in my bag. Oh, and it will definitely be coming to the beach with me, too.

• New-to-market line Bob Beaute (THELOVELIST15) has quickly grabbed a headlining spot in my makeup routine — I love the concealer pencils for targeted spot obfuscation. But my real obsession with the brand is their hydrating face mist, which I stash in my bag for intermittent spritzing to freshen up my visage. I’ve found it being passed around the table at lunch among girlfriends — and it smells great too.

• I normally don’t fall for a novelty bag, but I may have to have this one.

• As I said to Hannah at Chanel, “The girls are going to go feral for this.”

• I’ve come full circle on Free City sweatpants (particularly the Sunfades). I blame Ashley Olsen, who wore them in a widely shared paparazzi photo. Her mother-in-law, jewelry designer Lisa Eisner, is buddies with Free City founder Nina Garduno. I also suspect this is why we’ve seen them on Ashley’s buddy Jennifer Lawrence. Three’s a trend!

• I will never not marvel at the collective power and influence in the hands of a pair of diminutive twins:

• Would someone like to buy this watch for me?

• Thanks for all the nice feedback on my last fashion week write-up. For your associated viewing pleasure, here’s , , and I at the Khaite show because I love when they seat all the Internet people together:

• Also now hitting from the spring runways: this Kallmeyer look, which was one of my favorites. The scarf blazer (which I plan to wear as a top) comes with coordinating shorts, or you can opt for the knittie it was styled with above. If you really want to nail it, don’t skip the scarf. (And of course, more weird pants).

• The J.Crew collab rollneck sweaters are actually so cool. I love the roster of (very downtown) collaborators, including Eckhaus Latta, Collina Strada, and Tanner Fletcher.

For paid readers, my provider Black Book (a first-to-market Korean facial, the download on porcelain veneers) and more:

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Fashion Week is a marathon. We get it! It’s been said ad nauseam! The call times are early, appointments are back-to-back, Ubers stall in traffic while you’re re-pinning a scarf in the backseat. By day three, your inbox is feral, and you’ve consumed nothing but coffee and one stray devilled egg. But what a privilege to be exhausted by beauty! To sit shoulder-to-shoulder with editors and girls you’ve admired for years and feel the collective intake of breath when the first look hits the runway!

It is busy, yes. But it is also electric. Which is why your face cannot give up at 4:37 p.m. The real skill of Fashion Week isn’t just outfit stamina or shoes that don’t hurt; it’s beauty endurance. I’ve learned the hard way that the products you reach for in February or September need to be gold medalists.

Still, you don’t have to be running between shows to need a face that lasts. Maybe it’s a wedding, a work conference, or a day of meetings that rolls straight into dinner. Maybe it’s travel. Maybe it’s just a Saturday where you leave the house at ten and don’t plan to see your bathroom mirror again until midnight. The point is the same: you want hair and makeup that hold their shape, don’t separate by late afternoon, and still look considered as the light changes. Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. Resurface the night before, then layer hydration the right way.

I do a gentle polish and focus on barrier repair so makeup has something smooth to sit on. Nothing aggressive, just enough to reset the canvas and lock in moisture. I build thin layers that feel plump but not slippery: the goal is to rise the next day with skin that looks even and awake.

Toolkit: First up, Guerlain Abeille Royale Youth Watery Oil Serum: this lightweight, water-meets-oil serum goes on first after cleansing and provides a foundation of deep hydration and radiance that helps makeup settle more smoothly and last longer throughout the day. It works on plumping and visibly repairing the skin’s surface, so foundation sits rather than slips. 

For the eyes — the first place fatigue tends to show — I reach for the (new to market!) Guerlain Abeille Royale Youth Repair Eye Cream. Its gel-cream formula targets the fragile eye contour, smoothing fine lines, brightening dark areas, and helping the entire eye area look more open and awake. I apply it again the next morning under my makeup, and it keeps concealer looking fresh for hours.

2. This is not the day to experiment with makeup.

Go with the makeup you know works for you. Your tried and trues. Staying power without weight is the name of the game.

Toolkit: For structure, I tap in the m.ph Underpainting Kit to softly sculpt before adding color. A damp Beautyblender keeps foundation thin and seamless. If you’ve been reading for any amount of time, you know I’m a huge fan of the Victoria Beckham Beauty Foundation Drops for a skin-first finish.

MAKE Beauty’s Cream Blush (shade: BASK) gives that just-in-from-the-cold flush that still reads at dinner, and I lock it in with a light sweep of Laura Mercier Ultra Blur Setting Powder only where I crease. Brows get brushed up with MAKE Beauty Eyebrow Gel, lashes coated in Victoria Beckham Beauty Vast Lash Mascara so they hold their lift, and a mist of Saie Cityset to help everything stay in place.

Lips are their own process. I line under my lips with a tawny brown m.ph Beauty Lip Liner (shade: Double Shot) to create a faux shadow, then line further in with the Farah Homidi Lip Liner (shade: Minky). Finally, I apply Westman Atelier Matte Lipstick (shade: Je Reve).

3. Just get the blowout.

A proper blowout changes your vibe and buys you hours. Even if everything else starts to wilt, good hair carries the look and makes minimal makeup feel finished. I ask for a classic round-brush blowout with a slight bend at the end. No curls, no hot tools. I stretch mine out into two or three days with the right products, tuck it into my collar on day three, and then slick it back into a bun on day four.

Toolkit: First, I deeply moisturize the night before with Filament’s strengthening mask. I know I sound like a broken record, but this stuff is bananas good. It’s built to repair and reinforce hair bonds, so strands feel sturdier and smoother heading into a blowout. Day two, I use dry shampoo where needed, then rehydrate my ends with Crown Affair’s near‑weightless oil, which adds shine and keeps frizz down. For a slicked‑back bun or to pin flyaways, I rely on Jillian Dempsey’s stick pomade for clean control, then Chris McMillan’s flyaway wand for final smoothing.

4. Pack a 5 p.m. rescue kit and refresh strategically.

Plan for the touch-ups, and your face can keep pace with the schedule.

Toolkit: I’ve become quickly and hopelessly addicted to the new makeup line Bob Beaute, especially the Skinbooster, a refreshing setting spritz I keep in my bag that keeps my skin hydrated throughout the day with a glow that doesn’t break my makeup. Also with me: lipliner and lipstick, a compact with a built-in mirror, and a flyaway wand. Light and tight, but effective.

By the time I reached the back half of the week — FFORME, Kallmeyer, Heirlome, and finally KHAITE — the message felt clearer. These designers can make clothes that meet us where we actually live. Which raises the real question: why would we accept less?

We are the ones buying the coats. We are the ones deciding which brands enter our closets and which get left on the rack. If we want depth instead of gimmicks, proportion instead of provocation, intelligence instead of click bait — we have leverage.

New York, at its best, designs for women with places to be. So let’s demand that the clothes respect our time, our money, and our bodies!

Fashion shows can feel like sealed, sterile rooms. Controlled guest lists. Velvet ropes. A choreography of who sits where and who gets photographed with whom. It’s easy to forget, in that hush of exclusivity, that the women not in the room are the ones who keep the lights on, and that woman is you.

The clients in Chicago and Dallas and London. The women reading this on their phones between meetings. The ones who save, invest, and read Substack before they shop! Brands may stage the spectacle for a few hundred insiders, but they survive because of the thousands who never saw the runway in person. The room isn’t the seat of power, y’all! The customer is!!!

When designers recalibrate, it’s often because the market has quietly pushed them to. Under Frances Howie, FFORME is successfully loosening up. This is her second full season at the helm after Paul Helbers’ departure, and you can feel the recalibration. Early FFORME was pure architecture: austere columns, almost monastic restraint, an intellectual minimalism. Nina Khosla founded the brand on that idea: precision, purity, and form first. And it made sense at the peak of the “quiet luxury” boom. The bones are still there. But Howie is now introducing sex, flesh, tactility, and delight.

This collection begged you to reach out and touch it. Structural texture. FUR. Leather felt dense and substantial. Velvet was cut into hourglass gowns. There were raw edges left visible — selvage seams allowed to fringe slightly — which gave the tailoring a delicious, lived-in tension. You could feel the atelier training in it. Howie worked under Alber Elbaz; she understands how to build emotion through cut rather than BS embellishment.

What stood out most was how tactile everything felt. Satin caught the light, knits draped with a slight slouch against heavier outerwear, yum. Twinsets were curiously styled under leather, which could have skewed stuffy and uptown but instead felt cool. The collection felt warmer than past seasons. Maybe even cozy? And yes, it looks like we’re in for another year of tights as pants.

The shift is easy to clock from cerebral minimalism into something more physical. FFORME feels less theoretical and more embodied now. It’s still a disciplined brand, but the discipline now accommodates the body. Someone is listening.

At Heirlome, Stephanie continues to orbit heritage, but this season it felt more assured. The lace wasn’t fragile; high-necked blouses were cut with enough sharpness through the shoulder to keep them from drifting into costume. There were again skirts with a faint Edwardian lean, but the waistlines were clean. There was a standout plaid suit that would make any wearer the baddest bitch in the room and leather opera gloves with a swishy woven crop top that my friend immediately borrowed for an event.

Stephanie is iterating in a way that feels almost risk-averse. But what I appreciate about Heirlome right now is that they’re not drowning in reference. The fabrics do the talking. It reads as sentimental without being saccharine.

At Kallmeyer, the show hit at golden hour — that late-winter New York light that turns the skyline honeyed. As the sun dropped, a David Byrne cover of “Drivers License” began thumping through the venue, and I couldn’t help but let a little laugh escape at the humor of Daniella’s music choice. I wish I could explain the alchemy of that moment. It was melancholic and silly and serious and commercial and weird and hopeful at once.

Daniella sat me next to her mom. At the end of the show, when she came out for her bow, her mom began sobbing — not politely tearing up, but fully overcome. I lost it. Watching a woman watch her daughter stand in her power like that does something to you. It reframes the clothes and reminds you how personal these worlds are. You see the years behind the brands.

But sentimentality aside, these clothes were built to sell. I sat amongst buyers and head honchos from Net-a-Porter, Bergdorf’s, and other boldfaced retail names, and they were all nodding. Will they choose wisely?

If there was an undercurrent at KHAITE this season, it was Kennedy-adjacent in a way that felt almost too on the nose to be an accident. The room was full of that late-90s New York shorthand polish that reads expensive because it’s withholding. Then you looked to the front row, and it became literal: actress Sarah Pidgeon (Ryan Murphy’s Carolyn Bessette in Love Story) photographed alongside Cassandra Grey, wearing Carolyn Bessette’s actual 1998 Yohji Yamamoto suit. The suit itself has provenance — gifted to Grey years ago by Carole Radziwill — and the photo basically writes the whole thesis for you: Khaite as the modern vessel for that CBK restraint, updated for women who know what Instagram is. 

On the runway, Catherine Holstein leaned into the dark-romance side of her language, but still kept the clothes in that Khaite register where the sex appeal is controlled. ELLE described the show as built around “the crushing weight of words,” with cascading LED text and an audio track reading words alphabetically. That theme actually made sense of the clothes: authority, institutional dressing, a kind of armored poise. You saw high collars, military shoulders, gold cross chains, lace naked dresses, and those sharp little jolts of styling (argyle with opera gloves) that stuck the landing.

The bigger story, to me, is watching Catherine evolve into this designer who’s fully in command of a world. Early Khaite’s thesis was all about the young New York “cool girl”, whoever she is. Now Holstein’s building a dom-com universe without losing the clothes. Was it an audition for an even bigger stage? You could feel it. 

She’s also doing it while living a different life. Vogue has noted her two young children at home while she’s running shoots and building collections, and that context matters — not in a mommy-blog way, but because you can see the design getting more decisive. I’d venture to say a few dresses were pretty much “fuck you”.

Then we all ended up at Bemelmans, maybe a last chapter in the Kennedy Pinterest board of an evening. Khaite and Mytheresa hosted a post-show cocktail there (Hamilton Leithauser live at the Carlyle, Miller High Life pony bottles, the whole thing), and it had that old Manhattan glamour where everyone in attendance had a publicist. 

Khaite isn’t just a runway brand anymore. I think this was the season that affirms it as a cultural node. But even cultural nodes answer to customers. When the playlist cuts, when the influencers go home, when the ghosts evaporate — what’s left?

When you strip away all the glamour and artifice and the seating chart politics, and the piece is just hanging in your closet — what then? Then it has to hold the fuck up! It has to survive coffee, weather, meetings, dinners, LIFE! And if it doesn’t — if it only worked under runway lights or on starved, waifish bodies — then we should stop rewarding it.

I’m here to tell you what I saw from within the room. That’s part of my job. But the truth is, what matters more happens outside the room.

It happens in the dressing room. In the mirror at home. In the moment when you reach for something on a random Tuesday and decide whether it makes you feel hot. It happens when you pull a coat off the hanger on a cold day, and it either justifies its existence, or it doesn’t.

Runways are theater. Closets are reality. And I’m not sure we need all the theater when reality is this sobering. If you don’t have something meaningful to say, don’t cast thirty models and stage a show to not say it. Do a brand activation or some other soulless thing engineered for screens, and please, do not invite me. I want to see more stuff like the crystalline dress at Khaite that made me elbow my friend in the ribs and say, “You’re wearing that to my wedding.”

The brands can stage whatever spectacle they want for 400 insiders. The verdict comes later, when you zip it up alone. Does everything I saw this week deserve people’s time, body, and money? No. And it’s fair for all of us to vote with our dollar when it doesn’t. But the good shit? That’s why I’m here. And with David Byrne still thumping in my head, I’m making my shopping list.

I’m far from the first to say it, but I’ll reinforce everyone else’s reporting that purple is preordained this season. I’m calling it “The Purple Reign”.

Glimmers of the shade have been consistent across brands: in a swathe of shades at 6397, royal at Tory Burch, and downright gothic at Colleen Allen. Is it the new “pop of color” we’re relying on in lieu of reliable ol’ red?

Maybe. But I love when I can extract something this egalitarian from the runways — anyone can integrate a touch of the shade without a heavy credit card commitment, even if it’s just a single purple fingernail, a la Phoebe Philo.

Not that our bestie red was abandoned. At Proenza Schouler, Rachel Scott’s debut collection leaned heavily on a poppy-hued “pow!” of the shade — in shagadelic leather shoes with tassels that swished joyfully with the model’s stomps, in Esha Soni’s pieced leather handbag contributions, even in a painterly swish of lipstick left intentionally unfinished on the pout.

(As I’ve mentioned here many times, Esha also has her own handbag line that is quickly becoming one of those IYKYK brands that fashion girls clock and respect. She made me one of her muses recently, and I was honored!)

The highlight of my Wednesday, however, was a presentation I didn’t even make it to: OSSOU. (It conflicted with Proenza, I will see it in person next week.) Of all the clothes I saw yesterday, this was the stuff I truly wanted. Am I biased? A little. (Co-Founders) Talia and Nina are my friends.

But I think it counts for something that I bought two OSSOU shirts last weekend with my own money—I love this line! Talia's way of thinking about color is so inspiring to me. But do a bunch of pretty pictures mean much if the fit is off? Not really. And the fit is really where OSSOU has nailed it.

Can we take a moment for the PR girls? These are the people who make fashion week happen. Wednesday, I saw one black-clad PR tactfully talking down a gaggle of attitude-laden standing-room guests at the Proenza show while I was simultaneously firing emails back and forth with Kate, who is in-house at TWP—I appreciated how great her vibe is despite having to put out a series of small fires, including a dramatic front-row seating kerfuffle. The team at Khaite didn’t even flinch when I had the utter audacity to ask for a +1 to the show. Conti, KCD, Lucien Pages, Purple, Accent, VSJ… y’all really deserve your proverbial flowers, and I don’t think it’s said often enough.

On Thursday, I began the day with the rest of New York at the TWP show. Designer Trish Wescoat Pound continues to be inspired by her love of the country and showed another round of Le Chameau boot-clad models tromping through reedy grasses in flask necklaces (!) to the tune of Bonnie Raitt. It was like someone shot an arrow straight into my Southern heart.

(I got the show playlist for you, btw.)

Today, the brand releases bags from last season’s runway, inspired by what Wescoat Pound calls “the places that hold us”—again, with that wink to the outdoors. My favorite is an oversized, tarp-fabricated, waterproof style that riffs on a life spent straddling that line between town and country.

Colleen Allen also gave us cool bags yesterday: doughy, slouchy clutches meant to be cradled in the nook of your arm like a velvet dumpling. They’re adorned with cords that allow you to tie the bag around your waist, styling it almost as a bustle-ish fanny pack (three words I never thought I’d string together).

At Maria McManus, the vibe was cozy and upbeat — both the clothes and the crowd. Maria always shows salon-style, which allows us to interact with the clothes in a tactile way, chat with the models, and grab a (much-appreciated) delicious snack. Everyone is showing fuzzy and pettable pieces this season — fur is everywhere, both on the streets and on the runways. Maria’s imagining was extraordinarily soft, shaggy (dare I say poodle-y?) but draped in structural shapes that anchor her clothes in modernity.

I ended the day at The Twenty Two with a girlfriend, recapping what we saw and giggling over Hugo Spritzes before we walked upstairs to see what Ruadh (reminder, pronounced “roo-ah”) has been working on.

Jac, ever the coolest, was swanning around in an oversized tuxedo shirt of her own design. After laying her foundation in denim, I saw lots of interesting knits and argyles — a nod to her Scottish heritage — that excited me, including a chartreuse number that begged for inky jeans.

Have you sensed a theme in my reporting? If not, I’m delighted to clock it for you: every designer I’ve seen so far this week has been a WOMAN!

Female designers have taken the city back, which is why I think all of the clothes I’ve seen so far are very grounded. I talked about this in Faran Krentzil’s piece on the subject for the Financial Times: “Daniel Roseberry at Schiaparelli is incredible, but he’s creating a fantasy. Brands like Khaite and Kallmeyer make clothes for the lives that women actually have.”

The remainder of the week? More women, baby. FFORME, Heirlome, and Kallmeyer, followed Saturday by Khaite. My estrogen and I will check in with you again in a few days, along with a full backstage beauty report.

I didn’t expect to take an entire week off, but here we are. Rewind: we went dark last weekend in solidarity with the economic protest over ICE. On Sunday night (a night I usually spend writing), I went to the New York Knicks game. (Heads up, I am going to tag everyone’s name below because many of these folks have great Substacks!)

, the Founder of Saie (and the beauty sponsor of the team — they just launched a setting spray that has become indispensable to me), had a suite and put together an insanely fun group of people — some old friends, some new.

As new friends go, I spent the first part of my night chatting with and her boyfriend. Ella is a big knitter and my Mom owned a yarn shop for many years, so we had lots of proverbial yarn to spin (sorry for the corny pun). My buddies (in new Alaia pants from Hirschleifers) and rolled in shortly thereafter, and we had a blast watching the nail-biter of a game against the Lakers, Samantha (generously) playing sports sensei for me and asking about what music she’s going to spin at my wedding.

We were seated with Paloma Elsesser (face card, Centurion) and her buddy, which made the game spicy because Paloma is a Lakers fan. At one point she leaned over and touched Cassandra’s hair, commenting on how incredibly glossy it was. “Filament!” Cassandra said, referring to a new haircare launch everyone is obsessed with right now. “Oh my God,” I chimed in. “You need this stuff.” (Sidebar: you need this stuff too, it’s a lifesaving moisture bomb for crackly winter hair. Code, THELOVELIST15.)

The Knicks won, and in my car on the way home I thought, yeah, nights like this are why this city is magical. But did I get any work done? No.

The next morning, I stepped outside to grab my neighbor’s New York Times off the snowy stoop and when I came back in, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the radiator. Once I came to, I walked to my doctor who promptly diagnosed me with a concussion. Oopsie. I was told to stay off screens, among other strict directions. Now, it’s the following Saturday and —with the exception of a catchup with my lit agent and a plotting session with — I have produced ZERO work this week.

As it turns out, I hear it was a good time to be off Substack because things were kind of mean this week? Idk. I muted all the assholes ages ago. I’d only add my tip that when things get nasty here, consider the source, then mute it.

Anyway! I hope you’ll forgive my radio silence. The universe intervened. Given that we need to catch up, this is a looser, more conversational send today.

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• Some of the consistently most useful sources when researching this letter are Sales Associates. One of the most consistent reader questions I get is about the fit of Phoebe Philo’s pieces. I 100% get this; the line is difficult to get your hands on (intentionally so), and unless you live in a major metro like NYC, waltzing in somewhere like Bergdorf Goodman or Printemps to try things on is pretty out of reach. At that point, you have to either order the items from Philo’s website (which often get stuck in customs), or, if you’re a MyTheresa Privé customer or Net-a-Porter EIP, order them via your respective sales associates (not on consignment may I add) to figure it out for yourself.

  So I wanted to gather some intel for you. I’ve tried on a fair amount of pieces myself, but our bodies are likely different, so I went straight to the (sales associate) source to find out what the consensus was. Everyone agrees her coats are wonderful. The fit is pin-neat across outerwear, so order your true size.

  

  The shirting is only a touch less predictable: the evergreen upright collar shirt fits oversized (same for the relaxed tailored shirt), but past styles, especially silk or tuxedo, have been running surprisingly slim given their ecomm styling, which leads me to believe they’re putting models in a size or two up for that slouchy look (chic, but misleading). The same for t-shirts, including a cape style I was so excited about, but the boxy fit shown actually presented slimmer upon try-on.

  According to both department store and ecomm SA’s, the pants and denim are all over the place. There seems to be little consistency, making it necessary to order multiple sizes up and down for try-on. Find your size in the zipper jeans? Well, that may not also be your size in her louche milk-colored numbers. The general advice for shoes has been (for the most part) to go a half size up across the board. I’m a 39.5 with a narrow foot but always end up needing a 40. What’s been your experience?

  Leave a comment

• Speaking of sales associates, my SA at The Row diligently let me know that new Spring styles are trickling into the store. I’ve been salivating over look 4 in particular, which I’m sure you’ve seen by now as well. In particular I want those shorts:

  

To the naked eye, it looks simple enough to pull together on your own, maybe with things you already have. But upon closer inspection, the devil is in the proverbial details. After seeing it IRL, I was surprised to learn the top isn’t plain cotton, but a fine terry in an oversized cut with intentionally long sleeves. The way it slips over the thumbs to obfuscate the hand is what takes it from white shirt to something that looks expensive.

The shorts aren’t what I originally thought, either; I thought they were navy with a white cuff, but in fact it’s two pairs of the same shorts, one white, one navy, layered over one another — tough to pull off without adding bulk to your bottom unless you’re, well, very thin. That said, the shorts are an almost whisper-thin cotton, so the look is realistic for real life.

I’ll leave you with another batch of treat yourself ideas for this Valentine’s Day, in honor of this post, which went semi-viral:

What’s shakin’, bacon? You may notice today launches a new vertical called “The Edit”. I took some inspiration from my friend ’s Saturday Group Text series and decided to organize my thoughts a little better. I always have so many open tabs (literally, mentally, and metaphorically) — this is a better way to keep them tidy.

I’ve added a section exclusively for paid readers containing ongoing giveaways, my current media diet and my “Black Book”, which is for referrals to elite providers. (This week it’s peptides and weekly in-house florals.)

I’m currently reveling in hibernation season. I had a super fun night out at a Cultured Magazine shindig with last Tuesday and was still home and tucked into bed with my dogs by 9. Cozy nights with girlfriends have been the only thing really getting me out of the house at all. I had dinner with Meg and Courtney last Sunday and stepped out my door to find it snowing again. Tucking into a corner table at The Greenwich Hotel on a cold night with my buds feels like the best way to pass time between episodes of Industry.

I also went to ’s house to plot and plan some big ideas we’re working on and snuggle her kittens. (We’re hiring!)

I’ve been out poking around Chanel and Dior to touch, feel and try on JA and Blazy’s collections now that they’re finally hitting. The new Chanel is genuinely exciting to me. Related: Phoebe Philo promised us a drop last week that only partially delivered, holding back arguably the best pieces for (presumably) a later date, so Phoebe and I are in a fight rn. Louise Trotter, your move.

• I actually love a snow day every now and then, but I know by February or March I’m going to be ready for a sunny escape hatch, which means our annual sojourn down to Palm Beach is imminent. New-to-me Aussie brand BLOUMME makes cheerful, inexpensive sandals with just enough heel that would look equally apropos by the pool (with this The Garment number, this Metier kit and a sprits of Vyrao’s Sun Rae) at The Breakers, at a Tammy Fender facial, or styled for early dinner (I suggest this Heirlome dress) at Buccan.

• My favorite season? Couture!

• Who didn’t see that photo of Zoe Kravitz and immediately add a purple scarf to their shopping list? I found you a good one.

• Net-a-Porter is carrying a new brand called Valesque that makes sporty nylon-shell bags that remind me of The Row’s nylon run in 2023 — except the price is infinitely more grounded. This little shoulder satch is slick. And hello, $330 Park Tote comp. NAP has also launched Phoebe Philo as of today — I got an email from my SA this morning — looks like it’s only for EIP shoppers as of now, but the buy looks too safe for my liking.

• Jeanne Lanvin, Vionnet, and my girl Anne Marie Beretta all on offer via The Row’s new vintage curation in collaboration with French shop Mon Vintage. The company has been working with The Row since 2020. The shop is curated by Marie Blanchet, who hails from Vestiaire Collective and also has a Manhattan presence at Printemps.

• Standout new arrivals: this Tibi trench and these Lisa Yang shorts (Spring, can you hear me?), these luxe Nour Hammour suede pants, unhinged mesh boots from Herbert Levine, a vintage hair comb sourced by Jasmine Sparrow, and a restock from everyone’s favorite fitness brand du jour, H-O-R-S-E. Oh, and these Literary Sport socks are a HUGE IYKYK signal.

• Why TF is Quince carrying Dom?????

• I’m feeling a little… *hair*brained, you could say? (Har har.) But my mane is on my mind. I’m intrigued by a new brand Moda is carrying called BASE-K, which is inspired by Korean head-spas. I’ve ordered The Matcha Rinse Shampoo and The Rice Cream Thickening Conditioner, I’ll report back. In the meantime, I’ve been using FILAMENT’s new restorative hair treatment mask, which has been a Godsend for my winter-ravaged hair. Moisture restoration, check! It’s meant to be used between your shampoo and conditioner steps in the shower.

• I’m going to have dolphin skin by March because this full-body glycolic spray from CYKLAR is so. damn. good. I use it on my shoulders and back.

• On these blustery New York days, pulling your hair back (or keeping it under a hood) is essential. Chris McMillan sent over products for me to tinker with, and The Wand has become my new favorite thing. It tackles flyaways very effectively and I love how intuitive it is to apply. Exactly the kind of thing I like to carry in my bag because it takes up almost zero space and can be applied without a mirror in a pinch. I French twist my hair, center-parted, and secure it with these chic claws I found in Paris by a brand called Maulebris.

• A moisture bomb for the lips that applies in a swipe? Yes please. Snaps in the snap jar to La Mer for this launch.

• I’ve been reaching for my OSSOU Haze shirt a lot lately. I remember when my friend Talia, a co-founder and the designer behind the brand, wore a sample to lunch a few years ago. I was immediately agog. Now that I have one of my own, I get sad when I send it off to be cleaned. I miss it. I think I need more colors. I style it with jeans or with a pair of The Row’s tights-as-pants and a pair of the aforementioned Herbert Levine mesh boots, which give the appearance of a long, elegant leg. In the spring, I’m wearing the shirt with white jeans.

• This snow has me living in layers of Lauren Manoogian. Best paired with my CHRISTEN big fur booties.

  For paid readers, my Black Book and more:

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Have you noticed dogs are kind of having a moment? I mean, in my house, the moment always belongs to them, but lately I’ve clocked everything from high-end shampoo to Hermès-esque canine accessory brands—and even dogs cast as fashion’s new supporting characters.

The category has leveled up. One brand that really caught my eye is Lil Luv Dog… not just for its sleek packaging, but for who’s behind it. Lil Luv Dog was co-founded by longtime friends and dog obsessives Cara Santana-Leto (@carastantanaleto) and Stephanie Suganami (@steph_shep), the brand is built on the premise that dogs deserve stuff just as nice as our own.

It’s the first pet brand to be EWG Verified® for pet grooming — meaning its formulas meet the same ingredient-transparency and safety standards you’d expect in human products.

It’s worth mentioning that Suganami is recognizable from television to many as Kim Kardashian’s former longtime assistant, because it’s a role that placed her at the center of one of the most influential lifestyle and image machines of the past decade. If you understand how brands are built in that orbit, it’s easy to see why Lil Luv Dog sticks the landing.

The brand launched with a chic, low-mess dry shampoo for dogs — the kind of product that makes sense if your dog is on your couch, in your bed, and (like my man Hank) has a tendency to be a lil’ stank.

I’m always down to chat with fellow animal lovers, so I asked the girls to tackle our Boxcutter Shopping Questionnaire in honor of their brand launch, and they replied with a rich scrapbook of outfits, beauty tips, and other inspiration.

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My “uniform” (the thing I reach for over and over) is:

• CS: A white tee, a tailored pair of pants from Toteme’s Garderob or my vintage Levis and a ballet flat with a cardigan.

SS: An oversized vintage tee is my safety blanket. And specifically this one Def Leppard tee that I have had for over 10 years now. The cut is perfect, and it just keeps getting better.

Something I just bought to wear is:

• CS: My delicious dark brown Saint Laurent Marron Fonce drop-shoulder jacket in a size up so it feels a little bit more oversized. I’m living in it. My husband surprised me with it. There were only 2 in the US and I kept searching and no one had it, but he had bought it 3 weeks earlier and was waiting for our trip to Tahoe to surprise me with it!

• SS: the Italian Batwing coat from Auter.

Something in my cart right now is:

• CS: Khaite Nevada boots in brown.

• SS: Eterne Sweats. I love the crew neck and the wide leg sweatpants. They have the best basics.

If I could, I’d spend all my money on:

• CS: creating a dog sanctuary for every shelter animal I could find. But fashion-related — hmmm that’s hard –

• SS: A vintage Audemars Piguet Bamboo Day-Date Moon Phase Automatic in 18k Yellow Gold for my husband.

The piece I’m always re-purchasing is:

• CS: Barefoot dreams socks.

• SS: Skims G-strings.

The best under-$100 fashion buy I’ve ever made is:

• CS: Steph did a collab with Adanola, and she made the perfect white tee — since we’ve established this is my uniform, I’m going to have to go with that. It’s the perfect fit.

• SS: Hanes Ribbed Tanks.

The last thing I panic-bought before an event was:

• CS: Underwear! Skims actually.

• SS: Last week, Tom Ford satin pumps. And they are really worth it.

The best money I’ve ever spent on a beauty treatment was:

• CS: Polynucleotide injections. I love them and it’s worth it.

• SS: A trip to Korea.

A beauty product I’m constantly reaching for is:

• CS: My Agustinus Bader Rich Creme. Panic ensues when I’m out.

• SS: Tatcha Longevity Serum, I went to Okinawa to meet the scientists behind Tatcha — it was such a reset. Their whole approach to skincare and longevity is so much deeper than just products; it’s really a way of living.

The product I buy in multiples so I never run out is:

• CS: Controversial, but Lumify. I like a white bright eye.

• SS: Summer Fridays Lip Butter Balm in Mint or Birthday Cake.

The most overrated beauty product I’ve tried is:

• CS: Any teeth whitening strips. I don’t think they work. They leave my teeth sore. Not into it.

• SS: Jade rollers. what do they really do?

A beauty product that actually changed my life is:

• CS: Shani Darden’s Retinol and Lactic Acid. When I started alternating those two at night, my skin was game over.

• SS: Lil Luv Dog’s dry shampoo for dogs— because Binx and I both deserve a good hair day.

Absolutely essential in my bag is:

• CS: Lip moisturizer. I have every balm you can think of: Ole Henriksen, Rhode, Summer Fridays — if it comes in a tube and goes on your lips, it’s in my bag.

• SS: An Emi Jay hair clip, I have way too much hair to eat or type without support.

My desert-island beauty product is:

• CS: sunscreen. I love Typology. Suncare 100%.

• SS: Logistically yes sunscreen, but figuratively a sheet mask. I live for a sheet mask.

A wellness splurge that’s actually worth it:

• CS: Massage, cupping, and acupuncture.

• SS: The Hoffman Process. I won’t say too much about it. I think everyone should have their own experience not influenced by anyone else’s take on it, but if you can take the time for a wellness retreat, you should!

A beauty treatment I’d never do again:

• CS: Under-eye PRP. Strong no! Downtime for the reward not worth it.

• SS: Lip filler.

Something I use because a friend recommended it is:

• CS: my hairstylist, Irinel Del Leon, recommended the shu uemura hair mask for my curls and I go through tubs.

• SS: Hourglass Veil Hydrating Skin Tint, it’s the most natural skin coverage. I don’t like to wear a lot of makeup in my everyday life so this is a really good minimal product.

Something I recommend to all my clients/friends is:

• CS: Rejuran topical serum. It’s so good.

• SS: Muting your friends’ stories so you can genuinely ask them what they have been up to without already knowing. It’s actually more fun to yap about it than to see it in 15 seconds.

In my opinion, everyone is sleeping on:

• CS: No alcohol. Best beauty secret.

• SS: Handwritten letters. Put a pen to paper. Write a love note. Get some personalized stationery or send a postcard to someone to let them know you’re thinking of them.

My favorite place to shop in my home city is:

• CS: LA shopping sucks. Maxfields, I guess.

• SS: Scout, I’m supposed to gatekeep this, but I won’t. Sometimes I start to feel like everyone has all the same things, and that’s why I love vintage. It brings back a sense of individuality — pieces that feel lived-in and one-of-a-kind.

My favorite beauty treatment in my home city is:

• CS: Facials — Shani Darden, Barbara Sturm, Dr. Diamond.

• SS: Dr. Ellie Byun for Korean beauty treatments and Chinese medicine. I love her holistic approach to beauty—she really works from the inside out.

Whenever I’m in a new place, I always:

• CS: walk!! I love walking to get to know the city like the locals.

• SS: go to a park—I love park culture. LA doesn’t have park culture like New York and London, and I need it to.

_____ is a brand I love supporting because:

• CS: Any brand that stands on business. I like brands that make their voice clear and don’t try to play it safe. I like to know my money is going to people who care about more than themselves.

• SS: Flamingo Estate, founded by two of my best friends! Their work feels intentional at every level — it’s not just about products, it’s about creating with meaning. That kind of care is rare.

The store, brand, or designer I wish more people knew about is:

• CS: Rohe, Gia Studio, Tove come to mind.

• SS: Colleen Allen, Kallmeyer, Rue Sophie, Flore Flore.

My go-to hostess gift is:

• CS: Vespa Olive Oil.

• SS: a Snif candle – the holiday scents will change your life. My favorite is probably the yellow apple one.

The indulgence I will always justify is:

• CS: Home organizer

• SS: fresh florals. Shout out to Isa Isa florals, who does my arrangements!

My most regretted purchase was:

• CS: I got a stupid St. Laurent dog carrier – haven’t used it once. Was a dumb impulse buy. I cringe.

• SS: That stepper thing from TikTok, i never use it.

I knew I was a “shopper” when:

• CS: 7th grade, when I was at Target and I had to have these brown shoes to go with my day 1 outfit for school. They were sold out in my size, and I made my parents drive me to 6 targets to find them. You can’t see it, but these are the shoes for this outfit I HAD to have.

• SS: I was born. Unfortunately for my bank account, I think it’s in my DNA.