If you’ve been reading for a while, you already know Biologique Recherche lives in my bathroom and my recommendations in roughly equal measure. The Lotion P50 has been a fixture of mine for years. The Masque VIP O2 had a real resurgence in our chat last year, and deservedly so. This isn’t a brand I’m meeting for the first time because a partnership came attached. It’s one I live with every day.

Which is exactly why I wanted to bring you someone who can answer the questions I can’t! Dr. Hélène Huguet is the brand’s global VP of research and development, a PharmD and PhD who has spent her career on formulation and drug delivery. She is the person actually deciding what goes in the bottle — NBD. Having direct access to her is rare, so a few months ago, I opened the floor to you to ask her whatever you wanted.

For my own questions, I went straight for the new new: Crème M.E.C., and why a cream built to reinforce the entire extracellular matrix is a different animal than the hundredth collagen cream. You asked about the barrier and how to rebuild it once it’s compromised, the mistakes most of us are making right now, what’s actually overhyped, how the under-eye should change with age, and what a real over-40 routine requires — and Dr. Huguet answered. Let’s get into it.

Subscribe now

“Why do so many skincare and makeup brands include ingredients like hyaluronic acid or niacinamide in nearly every product? Are these ingredients truly universal, or can they be unsuitable for some skin types?” - Tehryn, Substack Chat

Dr. Hélène Huguet: Yes, these do seem to be everywhere! Brands widely use hyaluronic acid and niacinamide because they target fundamental skin functions with well-documented efficacy supported by a strong body of scientific and medical literature. Hyaluronic acid not only improves hydration and reduces TEWL (loss of water through a weak skin barrier), but also contributes to skin elasticity, extracellular matrix organization, etc., with biological effects that vary depending on molecular weight. Niacinamide is extensively studied for its soothing properties and its ability to reduce hyperpigmentation. Their broad tolerability explains their widespread use, but they are not universally applicable: efficacy and tolerance depend on formulation parameters, sourcing, and purity, which can influence clinical outcomes.

These ingredients are not positioned as standalone “hero actives” but as supportive components within a broader, synergistic formulation strategy. Active ingredients are carefully curated; we use ultra-pure niacinamide, and we integrate multiple forms of hyaluronic acid to support complementary skin functions at different levels.

“What exactly is the skin barrier, and how can it be repaired once compromised?” - Emily C., Substack Chat

HH: The skin barrier refers to the functional integrity of the stratum corneum, an organized lipid matrix (ceramides, cholesterol, fatty acids) surrounding corneocytes that regulates water flux and protects against external stressors. In cosmetics, “repair” focuses on restoring this lipid architecture, reducing TEWL with film-forming agents, and supporting endogenous synthesis pathways in the outermost layer of the skin. The objective is to re-establish barrier cohesion and functionality through formulation-driven equilibrium.

If you have highly reactive skin that requires extra care, there are creams specifically developed for your skin type, like the Toleskin cream and mask. These sterile formulations are designed to support barrier recovery while minimizing exposure to potential irritants, ensuring optimal tolerance and helping restore skin integrity in compromised conditions.

“How should skincare for the under-eye area evolve as we age?” - Dina Keilany, Substack Chat

HH: Skincare for the under-eye area must first differentiate between distinct conditions: blue (vascular), brown (pigmented), or hollow (structural) dark circles, as each involves different mechanisms. With age, the anatomy itself evolves: there is fat pad displacement, ligament laxity, and muscle changes. From a cosmetic standpoint, care should focus on what remains modifiable: supporting barrier function, improving hydration, enhancing dermal matrix quality, and optimizing the appearance of microcirculation. In that sense, skincare can improve skin quality and visual fatigue.

Fortunately, there are a variety of textures and formats available that can target a multitude of undereye concerns: “Sérums Authentiques”, to creams, and our highly effective eye patches (“patchs défatiguants”), each designed to respond precisely to specific under-eye concerns while ensuring high tolerance for this particularly fragile area.

“For people over 40 who prefer a minimal routine, what are the absolute skincare essentials?” - Mariam, Substack Chat

HH: Skin experts consistently emphasize a few non-negotiable pillars: daily photoprotection, the primary factor in extrinsic aging, and maintenance of hydration and barrier integrity to limit TEWL (transepidermal water loss) and preserve skin function. As underlying imbalances vary significantly between individuals, even a minimal routine should be grounded in a skin diagnosis.

Within this framework, a curated selection from our nearly 90 face skincare products allows us to focus on essential, high-performance formulas, our best sellers, chosen for their proven efficacy and functional relevance. The approach is not to multiply products, but to select, with precision, those that address the skin’s dominant needs while maintaining long-term balance. This translates into a curated home protocol built on essentials: within a very extensive range, the following is one example of a targeted selection among many possible combinations.

To start your routine, I recommend a gentle yet effective cleanse using one of our cleansing milks; for instance, Lait VIP O2 is particularly suited to urban environments, combining antipollution and oxygenating properties through our patented oxygenating complex. Skin preparation continues with one of our five iconic Lotion P50 formulas, ensuring controlled daily exfoliation and optimal receptivity to subsequent treatments.

Targeted correction is then achieved through Sérums Authentiques. In the context of the 40s, formulas addressing the root mechanisms of aging are particularly relevant, such as Sérum Progeskin, which targets cellular senescence- one of the key drivers of skin aging- and Sérum Spectral, which supports skin resilience to light-induced stress: another major contributor to aging. Applied daily, they help the skin become both stronger and visibly improved.

Finally, a cream, such as Crème M.E.C., helps maintain hydration while supporting the overall integrity of the extracellular matrix, beyond targeting collagen alone, thereby improving density, contour, and overall skin quality over time.

“Beyond P50, which Biologique Recherche product do you consider essential for achieving healthy, hydrated, glowing skin?” - Remy LeMaire, Substack Chat

HH: This is a great question, and it is difficult to point to a single product as the key to healthy skin, without overlooking the importance of a tailored routine, which remains essential for truly healthy-looking, hydrated, glowing skin. Beyond Lotions P50, formulas that improve overall skin function are key. For example, Sérum Spectral supports the skin’s ability to manage light-induced stress, helping restore radiance and complexion uniformity. Masque VIP O2 and Crème VIP O2 enhance oxygenation and energy production, which are directly linked to a fresher, more luminous appearance. Finally, a restructuring formula like Crème M.E.C. helps reinforce extracellular matrix integrity, supporting hydration, density, oval and overall skin quality.

Leave a comment

Melissa Morris, the founder and designer behind Métier, talks about the padding on a bag strap with the same conviction she brings to selecting farmstand tomatoes.

She studied sculpture at Emory and then built a career across the luxury houses — Helmut Lang, Armani, Belstaff, LVMH — without ever designing a bag. That came in 2017, when she founded Métier, the London leather house that has since become a word-of-mouth obsession. Every style is made in Italy and stress-tested to survive twenty years of wear.

Morris traces her instinct for function back to Charlotte Perriand, the French modernist whose Chaise Longue she still keeps close. Perriand worked around the thesis that a beautiful object could also be pragmatic, and Morris designs by the same measure — which makes her own taste worth interrogating.

Subscribe now

Jess Graves: Your bags must all be your babies. What bag are you reaching for most right now — and what’s actually inside it?

Melissa Morris: I am wearing my Twist non-stop right now. It’s the perfect season for a bucket bag, and I love the bombé strap on ours – we made it with high-frequency heat and super-soft padding, so it has a lot of dimension but is still soft and flexible. Inside… nothing too unexpected, just my sunglasses, AirPods, my keys and cardholder, treats for my puppy Edie, of course my phone, my sketchbook, my pen, some Post-its (like Graydon Carter, I have lists for my lists) and some Tic Tacs – I love the wintergreen ones.

JG: Pragmatism for the win. What’s the last thing you bought that solved a real problem in your day-to-day life?

MM: Anatome’s Chamomile and Lavender Sleep Oil – it helps when I am on the road, calming my mind at the end of a busy day and with jet lag.

JG: What’s one object you’ll never travel without, no matter how short the trip?

MM: My AirPods; I am always listening to music.

JG: Now I want your playlist! What’s the most beautiful functional object you own?

MM: The Charlotte Perriand Chaise Longue. It is so comfortable, so functional, and so beautiful. Perriand is a major source of inspiration behind my design for Métier.

JG: Where do you splurge without hesitation — and where are you surprisingly disciplined?

MM: The farmstand. I will not balk at the price of heritage tomatoes. For me, it’s all about investing in good quality ingredients and then doing very little with them in the kitchen. Conversely, I am very disciplined at a larger supermarket. Seeing all this food in mass like that really turns me off; I end up buying much less than when I am at individual purveyors.

JG: Same. A perfect tomato? Priceless. What brand or object do you think is wildly underappreciated right now?

MM: A book, a magazine, a newspaper. I love reading from a physical piece of paper rather than online. It is a much more special ritual.

JG: What’s the most complimented item in your wardrobe?

MM: My Private Eye… and my vintage Nick Cave t-shirt.

JG: What’s a piece you’ve owned for years that still feels relevant every time you use it?

MM: I know this is not the most unusual answer, but it is true… for sure it would be my vintage 501s. They never fail to make me feel great.

JG: What’s your non-negotiable when it comes to design — the thing you always notice first?

MM: Quality. Period. End of story. You can easily see if a material is cheap or badly sewn. Someone once told me to always judge a home by the quality of the doors – it’s the first place anyone cuts budget. I think that is very true…

JG: What’s one thing you’ve stopped buying altogether?

MM: Scrunchies or barrettes – my haircut now is so short there is no need!

JG: Okay, no hair scrunchies. But what is in your cart right now that you’re debating?

MM: I have been thinking a lot about a Colleen Allen dress for a friend’s birthday party I have coming up in Italy. I also have been dying to splurge on a pair of Fernando Jorge earrings – with my short hair, I have decided this is going to be my earring era.

JG: What’s the last thing you saw someone else wearing or using that made you want it immediately?

MM: Hmm… I usually avoid that, actually – I find that when I buy things that look great on someone else, they usually don’t work well on me. Whether it’s because we have different body shapes or our styles differ, it never works the same way and just doesn’t feel as authentic. Case in point, loafers really don’t work on me… as much as I want them to. I can’t quite explain why, but they just don’t.

JG: What’s the best gift you give — something you return to again and again?

MM: For a woman, the Inside Out Wallet is the perfect gift – it’s a design that is so unsuspecting, but you realize after using it you can’t live without it. I also love monogramming our toiletry sets for people. We recently introduced these fun sets of products that make gifting more fun. We worked really hard on the packaging design; we have the most talented graphic designer on our team, who hand-painted each one, and then we scanned and printed the artwork. It was also a ton of fun coming up with the names. I am also really excited about our new domino set coming this summer – it is the perfect host gift.

JG: I love asking this question because everyone has such radically different definitions. What does “luxury” actually mean to you, in practice?

MM: Perfected quality – no compromises on any element. Perfected experience – everything I need is there without me having to ask, but it doesn’t hover or feel overwrought, either. Perfected vibe – classic, timeless, but also surprising.

JG: If someone wanted to understand your taste in five objects or fewer, what would you point them to?

MM: My 501s, my Pierre Paulin Tongue chair, my fish plates from Greece, my Charvet slippers, and my record collection.

JG: Describe your perfect Sunday.

MM: My perfect Sunday would involve yoga, a long walk with Edie, my puppy, a stop by the farmers’ market, cooking while I catch up with my mom on the phone, enjoying Sunday dinner with my partner, and then watching a movie before an early night (I love sleep).

If you would like to work with The Love List, please email Abby King at abby@bigheart.media.

Hi friends, I’ve been doing as promised, seeking respite and clearing my head by the water. Thanks for all the grace and kind notes. Kevin is doing well, for all who have asked! We are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

I’ve been living in swimwear, sweats, and sunscreen. My dogs are relaxed and happy. Aside from a few days down with a pesky cold, this has been a great nervous system reset.

P.S. — A friendly reminder that our exclusive summer headscarf collab with Gigi Burris is almost sold out, so if you want one, don’t sleep on it!

Subscribe now

• Loro Piana began selling Foulard handles to turn your favorite silk scarf into an ever-changing bag. Pretty smart, though 600 bucks is pretty steep when you can get one on Etsy for under $60. Etro also makes more bohemian styles, and Clare V offers a bamboo top handle that could be fashioned the same way. Outlander magazine published Loro Piana’s instructional video to make tying a breeze:

• Carry your new Foulard bag in the same hand as your new Ossa Electric Daisy wristlet, because you’re cool like that.

• Easy outfit formula I’ve been relying on heavily: elevated basketball shorts, crisp, oversized button-down (I love Phoebe Philo’s or this one from Sold Out), sexy, funky Dries (these or these), or Jude heel to elongate the leg.

• It’s a wrap skirt summer. I’ve seen a litany of girls styling their favorite pareos for daytime with a t-shirt or button-down. But my favorite hack of late is this genius way to tie a button-down shirt around your waist as a skirt. If you don’t feel like doing outfit origami, Rohe makes something one-step. (See also: Zara).

• Come high summer, I always return to Vilhelm’s Basillico and Fellini parfum. Something about that sweet snap of basil triggers my brain in a way that screams hot hot heat.

• Agog at the Noguchi rings currently at La Garconne. Now that’s how you do diamonds.

  

• Another great way to wear your gemstones: as an anklet! Stacked in multiples, preferably. I’ve been wearing mine from Dorsey 24/7. Next up, I’m eyeing this red number from their high summer collection.

• Are we doing puka again? Would look chic layered atop this.

• Continuing on the subject of jewelry, a label called Vertigo has been pinging my consciousness as of late, especially these killer oversized earrings that would make any lazy bun look intentional and elevated.

• I really, really like this setting powder. A tiny dusting will nail any of that summer oiliness.

• Attersee is popping up at one of my favorite spots in Amagansett, Galerie Sardine, next week. Dare I covet this bag in a seasonal linen? Would be 10/10 delightful styled with these peppy red Andrea Gomez wedges.

• When they tell you to put on your party pants.

• For those of you who asked me how to style your LeSet Kyoto pants (of which we sold a TON of!), may I suggest a slim baseball tee? Fun fact: the founder of LeSet is the spawn of none other than Carissa’s Bakery. P.S. — for the deeply devoted, Kyoto also comes as shorts.

• I love a candle that comes in a vessel that can be repurposed post-burn. Hat tip, Ulla.

• How cool are you if you string your JMM sunnies from this neck contraption? I’ve personally been getting heavy use out of my Beatriz Palacios sunglass chain, which has tiny hands that grip at the temples and make any pair look 100x more interesting.

• A perfect sandal that goes with literally everything. No notes.

• My favorite work-from-home writing outfit has of late been anchored by this, the softest cardi I have ever felt. Bonus: sexy.

• I’m looking forward to wearing this super-special Marlies Grace number to dinner out with my bestie, somewhere al fresco.

• Zara’s jewelry has kind of been hitting, no?

• I just bought these Jamie Haller jeans, and they give me limitless joy. The paint splatters!

• There was a chic girl I was chatting with in Sag Harbor that converted me to Heavenly Jellies. She wore them well, with a simple white cotton dress and air-dried hair.

• My fav piece from Court’s Ref collab: this riotous violet number. Spiritually aligned with these.

• So we’re all obsessed with turquoise jewelry, huh? These are a low-stakes way to dip your toe in.

• New amber-colored clips from Crown Affair that snap right onto my bag handle? Sure!

• Don’t forget, we’re newly minted on Instagram!

Hi friends!

As promised, we’re launching our collaboration — a kerchief — with Gigi Burris to kick off our 5th anniversary.

GET THE KERCHIEF

THE PASSWORD IS SECONDDAYHAIR

Gigi and I both grew up in the sticky, humid South, so we know a thing or two about summer heat. I wanted something I could push my hair back off my face with (the way sunglasses do) while still being able to leave my hair down.

GET THE KERCHIEF

THE PASSWORD IS SECONDDAYHAIR

Thus, our kerchief — a hairscarf/headband hybrid — was born.

The scarf is made from a lightweight poly blend, making it easy to care for and sturdy for the balmy season’s wear and tear. You can push it back on your head as easily as you would a pair of sunglasses when your hair is a little greasy (that second day!) to keep it off your forehead — while still looking put together.

No tying, no fuss. Just that carefree summertime bandana/kerchief look in 3 seconds flat.

The kerchief comes in two colors — North Fork Blue and Heirloom Tomato Red — and has a cute little silver heart charm on the tip as a wink to The Love List.

Every kerchief is crafted by hand by skilled milliners in Gigi’s New York City workshop. They retail for $195.

And of course, every order will come with our fashion matches, exclusive to this collab.

GET THE KERCHIEF

THE PASSWORD IS SECONDDAYHAIR

I read The Plunge by Lila Raicek yesterday. Devoured it in one sitting. It was a juicy, arresting triumph of a summer novel. It begins with a woman in her thirties whose wedding is cancelled two weeks prior when her fiancee gets in a tragic accident. Sound familiar?

The narrative stops being relatable to me from there, as the protagonist’s story takes a sharp turn into the self-destructive, but it gave me something to chew on, because in a way, the book grapples with the same question I am: what happens when a wedding stops being the organizing principle in your life? When the truth is struggling to break free from the confines of its old container?

My system is desperately trying to escape the ambiguity of those questions, but think I have to accept that ambiguity is actually the drop pin of this chapter.

In a week, I leave for the Hamptons, where I will be for the rest of the summer. I asked myself if I was running away, but I don’t think I am. I think more than anything I’m trying to show myself that my life is still moving. That summer isn’t cancelled — it’s renamed. Okay, so it isn’t “bridal summer” anymore. Then what is it? Field notes from the rupture summer?

I do know that if I stay here, the grief would lie to me and start telling me it was the whole world. I refuse to accept that bullshit. So I am going to the ocean. Because what else does a woman do in the terrifying middle, when love is still present but the plan has collapsed? How do I cancel a wedding, answer people’s questions, protect someone else’s privacy, protect my own dignity, and still eat oysters / swim / write / laugh / want things?

This season can’t just be rumination with better scenery. So here is my summer to-do list:

• If I cry in the morning, then I have to swim in the ocean in the afternoon

• I can handle one wedding task but I will not lose a whole day to it

• I will let people make dinner and visit me and stay as long as they want

• I will cook as therapy and select tomatoes from the farm stand as though I am plucking rubies from a mine

• I will write with voracious honesty

• I will let my dogs run on the beach as much as possible

• All showers that can be outdoors should be

• I will buy myself flowers for every surface if it suits me

• I will talk to the people who sit next to me

My brilliant therapist said that my job right now isn’t to “be healed” but just to prove that the cancellation of something this big doesn’t mean that I too am cancelled. And you know what? Fuck yeah. “Two things can be true at once” is therapy jargon that’s been exhausted by the culture, but it’s pretty spot on right now.

I can be devastated and still funny. I can be in love and be angry. I can be loyal but also self-protective. I can be private and ambitious! Flattening myself into “strong woman” or “pitied bride” or “mess” right now is stupid because I am a human that is more dimensional than one catastrophe.

Yes, my life is in revision. But! I AM NOT A NUN OF GRIEF! I am a woman in a body, in the world, by the fucking ocean, with appetite and wit and long-ass legs and a book and a future and VOLTAGE! I refuse to turn The Love List into “my trauma newsletter”. Ew. If anything, I think I’m allowing this rupture to sharpen my pencil.

The original promise of The Love List is beautiful things, discovery, shopping, pleasure, the hunt! My grief is the weather right now but it isn’t the product. It’s just a lens as my life is rewritten in real time.

Subscribe now

I’m writing from inside a Nancy Meyers movie in Amagansett, except the protagonist isn’t being rescued by a charming architect, she’s rescuing herself. She’s putting herself back together via ocean light, button-down shirts, bikini tops worn as bras, watermelon, peaches, SPF, a fucking perfect basket bag, a cold as hell martini, a looooong walk, a good book, a weird little store, and a obnoxiously big bushel of hydrangeas on the kitchen table.

Beauty isn’t frivolous when your life falls apart. I think beauty is one of the ways you come back. I’m not just buying perfume, I’m asking myself what the next chapter smells like, you know? Yes, I find beautiful things for a living, but I also understand why we crave beauty and stories and connection. Out East, the horizon becomes bigger than the problem, because by the ocean, we are all small.

So consider this the first field note from a rerouted summer: beautiful things, small pleasures, the hunt — not just for stuff, but for whatever the hell makes me feel like I’m coming back to myself after total detonation. We’re shopping and we’re searching and we’re summer serializing. Because beauty is how I’m going to keep grief from becoming the only room in the proverbial house.

I’m going to stay porous. Lovely things are not frivolous. In many ways, they are how I stay in conversation with life.

Happy July 4th.

Summer is a liminal space, isn’t it?

I’m not forcing any big decisions while things remain unresolved. Limbo is its own particular kind of difficult because you can’t fully grieve, but you also can’t really plan. I’m just kinda holding the logistics of a future I can’t see yet, if that makes sense? I have decided I’m not going to let my July be shapeless. Okay, so I was getting married this month, and now there’s this full month ahead of emptiness, waiting, and healing instead. The structure of my life is intact, but there’s a big piece that’s just… paused.

I think structure and having things to look forward to are the antidote to that anxious floating feeling I have right now. Letting myself have actual fun while I let the sand flow through the hourglass and stay in touch with my guy long-distance, you know? My Mom visited this weekend, and it was exactly what I needed. She cooked me my favorite meal, scratched my back in bed, and let me cry when I needed to. We went to the Pride parade, and I fed off the buoyancy. I head to Sea Island for July 4th soon (packing list below), and I think being home in The South will nourish me as well.

These are the things that will keep me intact so I can be strong when we pick our lives back up. I want to greet Kevin as someone who kept living, not a hollow person who held her breath for 30 days. I can’t demand answers from a situation that can’t give them yet! So I just need to let that knowledge exist alongside a life that’s still good.

Since proximity to water is so damn healing, here’s an Inbox Stylist for sun, sand and sea — whatever watery summer days you have ahead. Do it in style; life is short.

Subscribe now

I have this big wool blanket from Nickey Kehoe that I’ve been hiding under for the past week. It’s covered in cheerful pink flowers, which is an ironic foil to the mood it’s shielding me from. I’ve been in bed a lot. No surprise there. What else do you do when you’re sad? I take to my bed. I could run the world from my bed, and I have been doing exactly that this week. No, I don’t want to talk about “it” right now. But if you want to tell me your opinions on Love Island, it’s been my favorite distraction during this time.

When I’m not in an anxious spiral about things I cannot control, I’ve been combing the internet for interesting and beautiful things. I have said before, I find it medicinal. I need to make stuff to be happy, so seeing other people make stuff makes me happy too.

My Mom is on her way here now. She is going to take care of me for a few days. You really never grow out of needing your Mommy, do you? Then I am going to Sea Island with my friend Abby for the July Fourth holiday. Calling Abby a friend feels dumb right now because she is so much more to me than that. She is a sister. I don’t think calling guests and vendors was what she thought she signed up for when she agreed to be my Maid of Honor, but she’s handled it with equal measures of grace and ferocity. It will also be good to be home in the South for a while. I need to see old, familiar faces.

My house is full of flowers. It looks like a funeral home in here. In a way, it kind of is. But the wonderful friends who have held me up and asked nothing in return, not even a text, have been my reason to rise every day.

I rented an 1800s farmhouse in Amagansett (similar vibe) for the remainder of the summer, since my July is now suddenly wide open. It’s a stone’s throw from the Hamptons’ most dog-friendly beach and a short walk to Amber Waves Farm and Il Buco. I plan to hunker down, pour myself into my book, and do my best to salvage the summer while I wait for Kevin to heal. When you love someone this much, and they are hurting, it feels like the worry is going to drown you. But being by the water is healing for me, and I hope to float instead.

I was aware, when I sent the letter out earlier this week, that there would be people who would be kind and others who would be unkind. Judging by the insane amount of views, sends, and reposts on Instagram, people are gossiping, and I’m sure not all of it’s nice.

But I am used to being talked about. That’s just the nature of this job. After all, I can’t write about planning a wedding for 18 months, have it suddenly not happen, and then give no explanation. I do feel I owe you that, and while I don’t feel I owe the Internet all of my truths (I’ll save that for the book), I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the outpouring of love so many of you have sent me. I have read every note, comment, and email.

What’s next? Well, I don’t know. Time will tell. I have a big, empty summer ahead of me that was once full of plans. Anything can happen. But I do know that working and writing help me feel better, so I’m not going to abandon The Love List just because I’m sad.

And guess what? It’s our fifth anniversary this year, and we have some really amazing things in the pipeline, including some really special collaborations with the women I’ve met along the way of doing this. Those will begin rolling out in July, but you’ll see more of them this fall and during the holidays. Female friendships are the one constant in my life, no matter what else happens, and The Love List is ultimately a love letter to them. Our anniversary will be a celebration of that.

In the meantime, I want to put some things out in the universe. Vogue, I want to write an essay for you about this unusual bridal journey. I think it would resonate with your readers in particular. Podcasters, I want to come on your show. I want to talk about Substack, business, work, life, and operating vulnerably. Home/shelter publications, my Gramercy Park apartment is finally finished! I would love to see it published somewhere; it was a lot of work. It’s a home that’s held me through a lot, and it was designed with a ton of heart. Moda Operandi, I want to do an edit with you!

If you can make one of these things happen, or if you just want to talk, my email is heyjg@jessgraves.com.

Anyway, here are some things I found beautiful this week.

Subscribe now

• MyTheresa is doing their annual pop-up in East Hampton with a curated mobile boutique in a custom Airstream, but this year, you can shop for everything online as well. I’m always inspired by the irreverence and creativity they plug into these activations.

• My back garden is full of these candles. Not only are they beautiful to look at, but they also keep the mosquitoes at bay.

• I love this toothpaste-colored ostrich clutch. What a hue.

• Violet Grey always curates the best little boxes. They think in packages — I do, too. Their poolside box is a good one. All the little beauty things you need to post up by the water.

• Speaking of beauty, I look like hammered death. Ryan, my hairstylist and love from David Mallett in Soho, came over yesterday to give me a little Keratin treatment so I can air-dry my hair for the rest of the summer. I’m going to The Brightwood tomorrow morning to have them laser and inject the sadness out of my face. And I haven’t seen the sun in days, so I’m going to fake it.

• Y’all know I am vigilant about only endorsing things I truly use, and nothing has gotten more use than my Helix mattress this week. They kindly gave us a code (THELOVELIST) for 27% off — an extra 2% on top of the standard 25, just to be cheeky.

• Speaking of heavy use this week, tummy tea and my beloved sleep crown.

• Also: anything very soft, like this Renggli sweater.

• Juju Vera just keeps cranking out beautiful things.

• Farah Homidi is not only a sweetheart but a brilliant brand person. I love that she gave us sunnies.

• These wedges with a pair of long shorts are exactly the vibe I want to channel this summer. Exerting as little effort as possible while not descending into a total slob kabob is paramount.

• The Reformation x Umbro collaboration speaks to my childhood soccer player heart.

• God, would you look at this sexy thing from Tove?

• This GWYN shirt is going to be my summer uniform.

• I clipped this funny charm onto my Sherman Field cord necklace, and it makes me smile whenever I look at it.

• I’m going to use the hell out of this and this in the Hamptons.

• I love all the women cooking at both Crown Affair and ILIA, so this collaboration (and pink towel!) was an arrow straight to my heart.

• One of my favorite vintage dealers just launched a trunk show on Moda. She has the best edit and isn’t grossly overpriced. Jewelry is one of the most fun things to buy, isn’t it? Instant payoff, never a worry about fit, always joyful to look at, sparks conversation… just a little happiness on your body. I bought something similar to this from her not long ago.

• At La Garconne last weekend, I fell in love with Dusan. I got these pants, which are a perfect kicky crop with a pair of Phoebe Philo heels.

• Finally, I splurged on one of Lisa Eisner’s Saint Christopher bag charms on the same day. They had two or three at The Row’s Amagansett store. If a time ever warranted divine protection for safe travels, it is now.

Leave a comment

I’ve been putting this off for days, and there’s no elegant way in, so here it is: Kevin was in an accident in California. He is going to be okay in the end — but the end is a long way off, and the road there is the kind that takes everything a person has to walk. Which means the wedding I have narrated to you breathlessly for a year and a half, the one on July 26, cannot happen this summer. We will still get there. I have to believe that. Just not on the day I promised you, and not on the day I promised myself.

I walked into my house yesterday and the first thing I saw was the beautiful veil my friend Gigi made for me, carefully laid out waiting for its day. Then and there, I lost it. Because it became real: my wedding is cancelled.

I am far too tired to start bullshitting now. I am terrified. It’s the kind of scared that moves into your body and wakes you at 4 a.m. with your heart slamming like a lost bird against a window. I am so sad I’ve been drifting around my own apartment like a ghost, forgetting to eat, forgetting what day it is, letting my dogs, Hank and Birdie, love me back up to the surface because some mornings they are the entire reason I get out of bed.

And — I’ll say it — I am furious. Furious at the timing, at the unfairness, and at having something this beautiful and this meticulously planned ripped straight out of my hands. I did everything I was supposed to do. I found the dress, the DJ, and the wedding planner. I gathered bridesmaids around me. I found the something blue. I let myself want it and believe I deserved it, all the way, which, if you know me at all, you know is the single hardest thing for me to do. And now I’m standing in the wreckage of a day that isn’t coming, and I’ve decided I’m allowed to be angry about it. So I am.

But a wedding does not simply evaporate when you call it off. It has to be taken apart by hand, in reverse, piece by piece — every booking, every deposit, every plan I spent two years lovingly assembling, now unspooled across a hundred phone calls I can barely stand to make. It is the strangest, most brutal administrative work of my life: unplanning the happiest day I have ever designed.

And I’ll admit something that feels almost too crass to say out loud while someone I love is in a hospital bed. The money is gone. A staggering amount of it, and the time, and none of it is coming back. I know that in the grand arithmetic of a life, that’s nothing. I know! But it is its own small, ugly grief, and I am not above feeling it.

What has cracked me open in the way that breaks you open instead of apart, are my people. My friends have been magnificent. Flowers have arrived in such volume that my apartment looks like a film set. Love has come in a flood, I’ll be answering for months, and every single message has reached me, even the ones I haven’t found the words to answer yet.

But the ones who have truly saved me understood the thing nobody tells you about helping a person in pain: you don’t ask. When someone is underwater, “what can I do?” — however kindly meant — puts the work back on them, the work of of inventing a task, of being okay enough to delegate. The people who carried me skipped the question and simply did something. Lied in bed with me to cry. Sat on my kitchen floor. Forced me to eat. Took something off my plate without being asked and never mentioned it again. They did not need me to be okay for their own comfort. So if you ever find yourself loving someone through the worst week of their life, let that be the one thing I hand you for free: don’t ask. Just help.

Thank you, Abby, for handling so much of this. Thank you, Courtney, for calling guests. Thank you Izzy, for simply making sure I eat. Thank you, Mom, for flying here just to be with me.

I’m telling you a great deal while still keeping plenty back, and I need you to know that’s a choice, not an evasion. There are other people inside this story who deserve to heal in private long before they are ever a paragraph in anyone’s newsletter. So you are not getting it all today. But you will.

One day, when we’re standing on the other side of this, I am going to tell you the whole of it — because I have always believed the truest thing you can do with your own pain is set it down somewhere it might catch a person who is falling. I think this one will. I’m just still in the middle of it, and you cannot see the real shape of something while you’re still inside it.

I am going to be okay. We both are. I am surrounded. I am loved so hard. I am being held up by people who turn up and stay. It is going to take a while, longer than I’d like, the way these things always do, and I am going to let it take what it needs. I just need time, and I am going to sit in it, because we know from a million song lyrics that the only way out is through.

Thank you for letting me talk about my wedding for eighteen months as though it were the most important thing in the world. For that little while, to me, it was. I’ll be back to the gorgeous, life-giving nonsense before you know it. I find it medicinal. I am surrounded by an amazing team who will carry out all of the sends we’d planned for July. And on the other side, I will tell you the whole story.

I love you all. You have held space and given me grace through every sassy opinion, hot take, overpriced handbag, and the immense healing of the past year. Writing helps me process and heal. Thank you for being there to read.

More soon.

Hello from Montauk, where I’m horizontal with cramps but not too upset because I’m still staring at the water from my window. Dogs snoozing at feet. 80 degrees. Yum. I’m enjoying the peace and quiet after a busy run of days that culminated with my wedding dress fitting (!!!).

My Mom and a few bridesmaids gathered in my living room for the occasion, and my friend Gigi Burris brought all kinds of veils and bridal moments for us to decide on. I haven’t felt so loved in a long time, it was such a special morning.

Gigi and I have been working on a secret project behind the scenes that will be ready to show you very soon. We’ve collaborated on a little something for you to use this summer. Can you guess what it might be? She is one of my favorite people, the whole process has been such a joy. You won’t have to wait long!

Below, some other things delighting me right now.

1. I came across Tonal’s Sunveil Skin Defense Foundation somewhere on Substack, where the bright yellow bottle immediately caught my eye. It took me a few tries to get a skin tone match (I needed to go lighter than I thought), but it’s a killer summer workhorse. It works by actively reducing sebum on your skin so you look glowy but not sweaty. It’s long wearing, humidity-resistant, and it’s got an SPF of 50. A breakout product.

2. LeSet Kyoto pants forever. Easy to style, easy to care for, comfortable, reasonably-priced, fits a million different bodies, a color for everyone… it’s a love story.

   

3. Speaking of love stories, allow me to write one to ABASK, where I’ve recently been going nuts in some kind of pre-wedding nesting ritual. In my cart: a cashmere throw from Saved NY, Italian glass chargers for the table, and a pair of breezy cotton Thierry Colson pajamas with sweet embroidery and frog clasps, which I wore to host a garden party with a pair of Jude sandals.

4. At the same party, my friend Paulina Liffner came in straight from the North Fork with an armful of ripe farm stand strawberries and a big bunch of wildflowers for me — my love language. She had one of her eponymous white croc-print pouches tucked under her arm, which perfectly complimented her tan.

5. Why is Zara so good right now??

6. For my summer hoe phase.

7. I got some messages asking for a link to my favorite Dosa tunic that I found at The Row in Amagansett, but I can’t find it anywhere online. However, this POSSE one is damn close, and a lot less expensive.

8. Okay Cortana, you have my attention.

9. You do too, Joanna Vargas. I NEED to try this.

10. I hosted a “Ladies Who Lunch Lunch” at The Grill with Lazy Jamie in honor of her new serving set. I wore this, which is basically The Row Gala pants, but make it a dress. The necklace is Juju Vera and the shoes are CHRISTEN.

11. This Rachel Comey number, styled with your blackest, laciest bra underneath.

12. I zipped up a pair of OSSOU flex stretch jeans in Sable wash last week and my eyeballs popped out of my head when I looked in the mirror. Not to brag, but MY TUSHY!! Miraculous jeans, elegant dark wash, just a teeny tiny bit of give, immaculate. Nina and Talia — wowowowow.

10. Need this biblically.

11. Brilliant business move by ReSee.

12. I leave you with this brilliant hat from the mind of :

Leave a comment

For me, summer officially begins when I’m watching Love Island, eating Citarella chicken salad in a bed somewhere on Long Island. I like to head out in June when the weather is still cool in places and the towns haven’t been fully swarmed yet. I’m writing to you now from East Hampton, where I’ve been since Friday, feeling a bone-deep level of relaxation that I needed on a biblical level.

I brought my assistant, Izzy, with me, who, as it turns out, has a real knack for photos — so we actually got outfit pictures for once, something I usually either dodge entirely or just forget to do. As soon as we dropped our bags, we headed to Il Buco Al Mare for a late lunch. I remembered sitting at the bar there last summer and chatting with a couple who had a cute dog. The dog was kind of blinged out in a sick collar, and when I asked about it, they told me it was their own brand, Fast Out. Their stuff is extremely special. But I digress. After lunch, we walked across the street to The Row and La Garconne for some retail R&D.

The Row in Amagansett is channeling their building’s provenance and merchandising some of Tiina’s brands into their assortment. Most notably on the racks is Dosa, the Los Angeles label Christina Kim founded in 1984 with her mother, Vivian. The clothing is made with artisans Kim works with directly across India, Korea, Mexico, and beyond, built on traditional textile techniques rather than industrial production. She instituted zero waste into the practice in 1992, before the term carried any weight in fashion. Their output is small and their pieces are not easy to come by — and of course, they’re a favorite of the sisters Olsen. I came home with a breezy white tunic dress that I’m going to get loads of mileage out of this summer.

I also found it really intriguing that they also had an entire case of Frederico De Vera. De Vera is the Filipino-born jeweler, gallerist, and collector who opened his first eponymous shop in San Francisco in 1991 before moving the gallery to New York, where it now sits in Chelsea on 28th. He builds his jewelry from antique fragments — Roman intaglios, Georgian brooches, rose-cut diamonds, baroque pearls, Mediterranean coral — each piece one of a kind and never duplicated. His premise is that nothing has to be precious to be beautiful, and that the work is less about making something new than giving discarded things another life.

At La Garconne, I was immediately enchanted by a hot pink bag that looked like the woven pot holders my sister used to make as a kid on a mini loom. When you shop for a living, you see it all. It takes a lot for something to stop me in my tracks, but this thing left me dry heaving. The designer is Daniela Gregis, a doctor’s daughter who trained as a herbalist before fashion. She came to clothing through textile research, and her collections lean heavily on knit, crochet, and natural fabrics made largely by hand in the Bergamo region. She shows at Milan Fashion Week and I love that she brings her tailors and workers out to take the bow with her — a literal acknowledgment of the artisanal production the brand is built on. Her crochet bags are all one of one and kind of hard to come by, but I found a few at A’Maree’s, and a preloved one on Vestiaire.

Lemaire’s home fragrance oils also jumped out at me at La Garconne. It’s Lemaire’s first foray into fragrance and only launched this year — a five-piece collection called “Objets Senteur,” guided by Christophe Lemaire and Sarah-Linh Tran — and the scents aren’t meant for skin (did my dumb ass immediately put it on my wrist? Yes.) but for the home, designed to be applied to objects placed near where clothes are stored. The two ceramic diffusers, Pomme and Emboîtage, were made in collaboration with the estate of the late French ceramist Annie Fourmanoir (1931–2024), pairing her sculptural forms with the line’s woody, smoky scents. The objects are built to be refilled over time, so the scent lives in the vessel rather than dissipating — spiritually closer to a piece of furniture than a candle.

They also have an embarrassment of Jacques Marie-Mage there, and I begrudgingly tried on a pair of oversized sunnies that channel that 1960’s Jane Birkin vibe everyone seems to be going for right now. I expected to hate them because I think that shape can look kind of silly, but something about these suited my big head and I fell in love with them. Turns out, they’re a collaboration with the Lennon/Ono estate on “John & Yoko by JMM,” a limited-edition series handcrafted in Japan and modeled on the actual eyewear the couple wore while recording Double Fantasy in 1980. The collection runs two frames: Dr. Dream, after Lennon’s softly browed mid-century studio glasses, and the pair I got, Ocean Child, after Ono’s, its name pulled from a line in Lennon’s “Julia” that translates her first name. Talk about a story.

We had dinner in East Hampton where there was a little block party going on for the Knicks game. fully infected me with the illness of her fandom earlier this year and now I am hopelessly invested in this team. I also partially blame whose brand Saie had a suite earlier this season (genius for a makeup brand to market to the women fans and hook up the dancers and wags) where it dawned on me that basketball games were like, so fun.

The next day we spent entirely in Montauk. When my friend Ashley asked what I was wearing, I told her I was channeling “unhinged Montauk Mom”, and I think I nailed it.

We rode out to meet up with her, staying at ’s old beach house (still just as charming). She was there hosting a bead bar for her brand Don’t Let Disco at Rachelle and her husband Sean’s hotel, Crow’s Nest, which I’ve mentioned here before as one of my favorite places out east. It’s just a special, cozy spot. I picked out a necklace Ashley fashioned from an old Pucci scarf (similar here) and clipped on two of her totems to add to my stack for the night.

Rachelle and Sean have just redeveloped the Montauk Lighthouse Restaurant, and we went to the opening night which I frankly used as a guise to get hands on Rachelle’s new puppy, Lucy. I couldn’t tell you much about The Lighthouse restaurant except that they installed The Jane Hotel’s iconic old disco ball front and center, which is a rad move. But I was wayyyyy too drunk on puppy breath to pay attention to much else. (I do remember Holly from Marfa Stance’s Grinchy green Birkenstocks though, those were phenomenal.)

From there, we went to check out the new Barlume Beach Club in Montauk because St. Lucia was playing and your girl will never miss an opportunity to see St. Lucia. We ran into tons of friends there! Woldy! ! Esha! It was the spot to be.

I think the key to dressing out here is finding the right mix of esoteric bits without abandoning that classic East Coat uniform. I’m not trying to look like I just walked off a sailboat 24/7, but I do think the combination of relaxed and refined out here calls for its own approach, tailored to which little hamlet you’re vibing in.

For example, my underwear was swimwear yesterday! But I styled my cover up with accessories that made me passable to the Maitre’d at Le Bilboquet and enjoyed my spritz in peace overlooking the boats in Sag Harbor, including these great Linda Farrow sunglasses. My Phoebe Philo sandals were the true hero of the weekend, I wore them almost everywhere. Not only are they insanely comfortable, they give every outfit that “wrong shoe” vibe that always talks about that gives a look some necessary friction. And they gave me like 2.5 inches of height, so I felt like I had a little heel on.

We’ll be back out in a couple weeks and then here all of August after the wedding, when the events and socializing really pick up, so I’ll check back in on the topic of what the babes out here are wearing later in the season. ‘Til then, cheeks out!

Subscribe now

Maria McManus is the Dublin-born, New York–based designer who spent the better part of two decades merchandising for other people, rag & bone and Tory Burch among them, before she launched her own line in 2020. The pedigree matters because she knows exactly how a garment is made and what it costs the planet to make it, and she built her entire eponymous brand around that knowledge.

The founding principle is almost aggressive in its plainness: use less water, fewer chemicals, less waste. Everything follows from there: her cashmere is recycled, spun in Italy from old sweaters collected around the world, because she won’t buy virgin cashmere while overgrazing turns Mongolian grassland to desert. The cotton is GOTS-certified organic. Even the buttons are corozo, a tagua palm nut they call vegetable ivory, chosen partly because keeping the palm valuable keeps the forest standing. Everyone who touches the clothes is paid a living wage.

What saves Maria’s line from being a lecture is that the clothes are beautiful. The ease is supreme.

But consider the kind of person it takes to build this! She had the résumé to make beautiful clothes the easy way, fast and untraceable, and she chose the opposite. At the start she held herself to near-total certification on every material, then admitted to me that the rule was strangling the femininity out of the work, so she loosened it to ninety percent and let the craft back in. That is not a marketing position! That is a woman arguing with herself in public about how good is good enough.

The legging she would force into every closet is spun from a fruit-based polymer built to break down in five years instead of haunting the earth as microplastic for a thousand. The crochet is made by a collective of women in Bolivia. She is working from somewhere older and stranger than a trend report. Ethics is friction. It is slower and more expensive at every step, and she keeps adding more of it on purpose, somewhere between raising two teenagers and reading about the climate before the rest of us are up.

And she is not doing it alone, which is the part that genuinely thrills me. There is a cluster of women in New York right now turning a ship that does not want to turn, Zero + Maria Cornejo and Gabriela Hearst working the same waters, designers who reject the idea that conscience and desire were ever opposites. It matters that this is happening here.

Maria keeps a kind of altar to the Helmut Lang archive, the place she goes back to when she needs to remember what she is doing, and the lineage is exactly right: raw and minimal, the New York she actually comes from. For most of my life the most thrilling clothes were made in Paris and the most responsible ones were made in a hemp poncho. Neither is true now. The center of gravity moved downtown and it is female, and I cannot remember the last time it felt this alive to get dressed in this city.

Jess Graves: How has your design ethos or approach evolved since starting your own label?

Maria McManus: My design ethos has certainly evolved since starting the collection over the past 5 to 6 years, mostly influenced by a broader progress in sustainable materials. When I began, people were talking a lot about sustainability, but material development in organic, recycled, and sustainably-farmed materials was still quite rudimentary. I also set very strict parameters for myself, aiming for 100% of materials to be certified organic, recycled, or sustainably farmed. That rigor was important in establishing a foundation, but over time I realized it was actually stunting creativity and femininity within the collection.

Today, with so much more innovation and development in responsible materials, I’ve been able to naturally integrate more interesting, sustainable materials. But also I have become more comfortable working within a framework that is 90% certified as sustainable - prioritizing biodegradability and avoiding synthetic fibers like polyester and nylon as much as physically possible.

This evolution has also opened the door to a deeper engagement with craft. I’ve been incorporating hand-crocheted elements created by a collective of female artisans in Bolivia, as well as working with exceptional French lace from Dentelle de Calais-Caudry. I think these materials carry history and a more human touch to my clothing - qualities that feel essential to creating something truly covetable and long lasting.

JG: Are there any non-fashion inspirations - outside of clothing and textiles - that have influenced your work recently?

MM: My friends have great taste, so the women I’m surrounded by are a constant source of inspiration. I also often return to my Irish roots when designing a collection – poets like Seamus Heaney and singers like Sinéad O’Connor both informed my FW26 collection. Sinéad, in particular, embodied an extraordinary dichotomy and a fearless approach to collaboration, working with artists as varied as Massive Attack and more traditional Irish folk bands like The Chieftains.

Seamus Heaney’s writing carries a deep awareness of place, heritage, and the quiet power of the everyday. That sensitivity to landscape and lineage encourages how I think about simplicity in design and craft – something that holds an aesthetic while evolving gently over time.

JG: What’s a recent discovery (artist, place, object) that’s made an impact on you?

MM: Recently I traveled with my family to Puerto Escondido and stayed near Casa Wabi. It was a magical experience. The Tadao Ando-designed gallery, home and gardens are an incredible merging of nature with art, architecture and Mexican culture. From our cabana on the beach we could whale watch every morning and although restaurants were limited the quality of food was outstanding. All of the neighboring architecture and landscaping felt deeply aligned with nature, sustainability and a respect for doing less, with greater care.

JG: How would you describe your design ethos? If someone raided your closet, what story would they piece together about your life?

Maria McManus: If someone were to raid my closet they would not be surprised to find several pieces from old Céline, Lemaire, Jil Sander, and The Row, but they would probably be very surprised to find weird and wonderful shapes and crazy color and print from Consuelo Castiglioni’s time at Marni—it has never been the same since her departure.

JG: What made you want to collaborate with AGOLDE? Was it instant chemistry or a shared question you both felt needed answering?

MM: Working with Karen and the entire AGOLDE team on this collaboration has been incredible. We first met last spring in LA and immediately recognized the synergy between each other and our two brands, both from an aesthetic perspective but more specifically around sustainability and responsible consumption. I remain so impressed by AGOLDE’s commitment to creating the most sustainable and responsible denim through their partnerships with regenerative cotton farms and their use of biodegradable stretch and recycled leather. We custom-made every piece of hardware, every label, and every hang tag, and worked tirelessly with Karen’s team to perfect each fit and wash.

JG: Tell us about this capsule — what is the entry point? What should everyone be eyeing first?

MM: Karen and I began this collaboration with shared reference points: the spare, intelligent minimalism of Craig McDean’s early work for Jil Sander and his stripped-back images of Kate Moss for Calvin Klein. Those photographs - direct, unembellished, and quietly sexy - set the tone. From there, we built a small and precise wardrobe of essentials: a jean, a skirt, a shirt, a jacket. The foundation is pragmatic and considered, but with moments of irreverence - an acid-wash corset jean, a powder-pink oversized denim shirt - that interrupt the purity just enough to make it feel modern.

My first purchase will be the regenerative cotton skater shorts in white, styled with the black Naia sateen cami and the washed pale-blue barn jacket finished with a recycled leather collar.

JG: If you could force one item into everyone’s closet, what would it be?

MM: If I could force everyone to buy one item right now, it would be our biodegradable legging and capri made from fruit-based polymers. Unlike conventional synthetics derived from the fossil fuel industry – which will stay on the earth in the form of micro plastics for thousands of years and are likely having very harmful effects on our health – this material is designed to biodegrade within five years. It is a small, stylish choice that meaningfully reduces long-term environmental impact.

JG: What’s a garment detail you’ll never get over, like a personal kink?

MM: I love an exposed zipper done in the right way, specifically the grosgrain ribbon zipper detailing that defined so many of Alber Elbaz’s dresses for Lanvin. Years ago, I bought one of those dresses at a pop-up hosted by my friend Michaela Lee. Michaela lives in Paris and runs Ofr Bookshop with her husband, Alex, in the Marais. Under the handle Letendre Paris, she will occasionally host the most extraordinary, well-priced vintage pop-ups. I have found some of my most treasured pieces there: that Lanvin dress years ago, and just last October, the most perfect vintage Yves Saint Laurent blouse.

JG: What was the last piece of culture (book, film, meme, essay, anything) that felt like a breath of fresh air?

MM: My dear friend and work mate Rachel Chandler recommended that I see the Kathy Butterly show at James Cohan gallery in Tribeca. It is exquisite and nothing I can put in words. Her sense of color and composition, the curation of each grouping, the precise positioning of every porcelain piece, and even the exact shade of lavender-pale pink chosen for the walls felt considered to the point of perfection - a joy to live in for an hour on a rainy Saturday in April.

JG: What corner of the internet do you go to when you’re craving inspiration?

MM: When I need a reset or a jolt of clarity, I inevitably return to the Helmut Lang Archive. To me, Helmut Lang was the quintessential New York designer - raw, sensual, minimal. There was an intellectual sharpness to his work that never sacrificed edge.

I still own the first pair of Helmut Lang shoes I ever purchased: mocha-brown suede. They are objectively trashed, yet I will never part with them.

JG: What makes you immediately open your Notes app?

MM: My never ending to-do list has me constantly opening my notes app to keep track of life. Between my 2 teen daughters, my husband, who also owns his own business, and my collection, life is never boring and the list of to-do’s never ends.

JG: Whose taste do you trust completely?

MM: I have a long standing girl crush on Suzanne Koller. To me she can do no wrong. From her own personal style—that occasionally she will show on the grid or in stories—to her incredible work at Self Service Magazine that has consistently set a standard for intelligence and edge in fashion imagery, to the work she did with Louise Trotter at Caven for a hot minute before Louise was very deservedly appointed at Bottega Veneta.

JG: What’s a tiny daily luxury you can’t live without?

MM: I use Vitner’s Daughter Active Botanical Serum morning, noon and night. The smell is divine, it makes my skin look plump and dewy, and April the founder is a fellow eco-warrior and has similar business principles to me.

JG: What’s on your playlist right now?

MM: Yikes, my playlists are extremely eclectic. Depending on my mood or what I need to get done on a given day I can be listening to anything from Vivaldi, The Four Seasons Recomposed by Max Richter, Irish Druid Folk band Lankum, anything Sinead O’Connnor did with Massive Attack, and my guilty pleasure, the Foo Fighters—even my husband knows I would leave him for Dave Grohl.

JG: What do you collect that’s not clothes, and what does it say about you?

MM: I collect vintage furniture and art by small (aka affordable) artists. I recently purchased the most divine tiny painting by Justin Bradshaw who is represented by my friend Valentina Ackerman of Galerie Sardine - she has the best taste and also introduced me to Isabel Rower. I just bought one of Isabel’s marble-like stone side tables in the most incredible shade of mustard, too.

JG: What’s the object in your house that everyone comments on?

MM: I am a 1stDibs fiend, and when we moved into our current loft, I found a lacquered parchment screen by Aldo Tura that I use as a room divider between our foyer and living room. Everyone comments on it, and my friend Geraldine Boublil used its irregular arches to inspire the mirrors in her new apartment in Paris.

Want More Designer Dossier?

There’s some English kook on TikTok with a crazy bouffant flow and a weird spray tan dictating to people in a rather sanctimonious tone about what is and isn’t chic about making your bed. I saw a video where he insisted you only need two pillows per side and thought, couldn’t be me. I sleep in a down pillow fortress with a dog on my head, thank you very much. And find myself with a distaste for the mass-market minimal Millennial DTC look that a lot of bedding companies reach for these days. Enter: vintage bedding.

I love vintage Ralph Lauren, but I only want a touch of it. Maybe it’s having a full-on Shabby Chic princess bedroom in my youth, maybe it’s being in my bridal era… I have a soft spot for a ruffle or a little blue-and-white. But as an adult, I want it to grow up with me, set against modern furniture and interesting art — just a wink at heritage without fully leaning into a theme. Collected, not “decorated”.

You have to be very restrained to keep it from veering into cutesy. I think artist Tyler Hays does this well with his Delft-inspired ceramics at BDDW. So do John Derian and designers Nickey-Kehoe. The trick is to go for things that feel more Amagansett Beach House than country estate, and to be extra picky about prints. It may be a shibori pillow, a wink of chintz, a pop of Yves Klein blue, a wide-set French ticking stripe over a narrow one, or a particularly washy cornflower blue. It really has to be exactly right.

When we were apartment shopping, we opted for pre-war charm, a garden for the dogs, and a key to Gramercy Park over size and modern amenities. Our place still has original parquet floors and casement windows, so I leaned into the 1890s architecture instead of fighting it. While our loft in Atlanta was industrial, vast, and white, here I ran in the opposite direction, going for color and coziness.

Flipping through a book the other day, this photo from Jacques Grange by photographer Ricardo Lebougle stopped me in my tracks and sent me pulling my 90s RL Catalina Island bedding out of storage. Contrasted with the modernity of a stern Sterling Ruby piece above my bed, I think it’s a great summer vibe for our bedroom. I looked up some additional blue and white bedding to mix in from there: Vis-a-Vis, Abc Home,

Is anyone else like, really excited for summer? Unusually excited? I just have a feeling this is going to be one of those epic summers that becomes lifelong lore. Is it hot divorcee summer? Slam pig summer? Too soon to say! After the incredibly rancid vibes of summer ‘25 (a la poubelle!) and an excruciatingly long winter, we’re all due a string of carefree, sunny days (and a good season of Love Island USA). I’ve been having more fun than usual planning my wardrobe — still me, but with some colloquial tweaks. Sort of like pulling cards from the same deck.

I’ll be on Sea Island for an extended July 4th, and then we'll head out to Pebble Beach/Carmel, where we’ll stay until after our wedding at the end of the month. Very different vibes: Sea Island is preppy and oozing with Southern charm. Carmel is, as a friend likes to say, “quiet luxury Palm Beach”, or as I like to say, “the land of cashmere and shorts weather”.

For the Beach Club at Sea Island, where it will be almost offensively hot and humid, an Agua Bendita bikini with a coordinating sarong in a print my eyes don’t find offensive, because the girlfriend I’m going with has thoroughly claimed Johanna Ortiz. A white seersucker set from With Nothing Underneath with little red Row heels. A menagerie of SLBs. A Janessa Leone hat. High Sport shorts. A bandana-print pool bag from Call It By Your Name. Colorful beads. The leg trick!

For Carmel, thin cashmere from The Row and white crepe Gala pants. White cotton shorts, minimal black flip flops. Yaser Shaw wraps. A favorite ball cap and a good dry brush. Lots of pretty (but appropriate) pajamas for plodding around my in-laws’ house. And of course, for this trip, a lot of bridal looks (!!), but I’ll tell you about those another day. I can’t wait to see what my friends wear.

And then there are the Hamptons, where we’ll be all of August. When I’m out on Long Island, I care about proximity to my favorite restaurants and a dog-friendly beach, which is why Amagansett is my preferred hamlet. The girls there get it, and it’s where I feel I can dress the most myself — in a pair of Phoebe Philo track runner sandals, for example, which would surely be misunderstood by the country clubber hometown crowds in Sea Island, or a Sophie Buhai headband, which would read as too literal in a preppier setting.

A barely-there Prada dress with a low back and a dalmatian jasper tassel worn backward. A wacky terrycloth robe. A sack full of goodies from My Bob. An architectural Rohe dress. Vintage Levis. Threadbare t-shirts with diamonds. Bare nails. Toe rings. Elder Statesman cozies for cool evenings. That damn lighter necklace. Birkenstocks. Weird hats. Severe sunglasses. Ugh, and tick repellent.

And since nothing screams sunshine more than sunny SoCal, I asked writer/showrunner/generally offline Baddie Jenni Konner to end the letter with some of her deeply local LA picks:

Los Angeles has been “best listed” exhaustively. It’s a challenge to think of places that are off the beaten path. Everyone has heard of Scout and Lake, and if you haven’t, you can Google and find 10,000 articles about them. Honestly, the entire path has been beaten to death. But I grew up here, and there are places that I love that make me feel like I’m home.

ETRA is a relatively new place for Los Angeles. It’s in Melrose Hill, which is one of those neighborhoods that all of a sudden has a name when people start building there. It has the feel of a neighborhood restaurant, which is vital and rare these days. It’s not going to change your life, but you’ll find delicious pasta, a not-too-long list of natural wines, and a chicory salad that I think about maybe three times a day. Also, and most importantly, great lighting.

Bonus: My insanely chic friend Stephanie Danan’s beautiful boutique CO. is down the street. Insanely well-made and the quietest of luxury clothing. The lightweight cashmere will honestly change your life.

I had walked past UNCOMMON THREAD conservatively 3,000 times before I discovered it. It is technically on Melrose Place, but hidden away off the street. It’s a little jewel box filled with vintage clothing and objects. When I say tiny, I mean there are basically two racks of clothing. That said, these racks are filled with well-curated Gaultier, Armani, Prada 1996 (!), Saint Laurent, and more. It is so lovely it makes me forget there is so much incense I feel like I am at a Yoga class in the nineties.

A note about where not to go: I have nothing against the Beibers. Justin once sweetly recorded a birthday wish for my daughter’s friends in a parking lot, and Hailey makes my favorite blush. But if those two frequent a restaurant, do not go there. Or anywhere the famous go. I do not know what it is about celebrities and expensive, terrible food, but the tabloids are filled with photos of stars going into the worst places in town. If it makes Page Six, avoid at all costs. (I’m looking at you, Nobu Malibu).

Leave a comment

I get very tired of the Internet sometimes. It can be a terrifying circle jerk, especially for people who care about fashion — a real psyop of confirmation bias. And while the middling sameness can be comforting (nothing wrong with being like the other girls), we have to be conscious that the lack of friction stunts our collective creative growth. Spoon-feeding each other trends like baby birds can’t be the only way we’re fed.

The Internet makes stars of regular girls every day. Every so often, someone with a point of view so singular punctures the artifice and whooshes through the consciousness like a fat gust of the freshest air. Slowly at first, then all at once, others clamor to copy her, and she makes a comfortable living off the other women hoping to capture a little piece of her magic. She takes a 9% affiliate cut on 75 pairs of $400 jeans and uses it to buy a better life to emulate, and the next thing for everyone else to chase. I don't think this is a bad thing. The monetization of girlhood has uncuffed a lot of women from a much narrower life.

It's when it all becomes one amalgamous swirl that I get fatigued. Eventually, these people are copied at such volume that there's no path but to become a genre of their own.

The Row is a perfect example of this phenomenon — women so rabidly emulated that packaging their ideals was the clearest and most gratifying path forward.

The Olsen neophytes online have created a reductive subgenre of minimalist Internet entirely taken directly from their twin idols. Fandom is fun, and they are right that The Row is a brand for clothing nerds (like me) who tuck into inane details to justify the cost of what we're subscribing to. I’m not clowning these girls; they’ve removed the thinking from getting dressed, and a lot of people want exactly that. I just wonder if they’re missing the broader point of what the Olsens set out to do.

Walk into The Row’s Upper East Side townhouse, and you’re coaxed into a space designed in such good taste it’s lost most of its flavor. It is soothing. It is elevated. It is you, just a few grand away from your best self. Vanilla is comforting, safe, quiet. I like vanilla. It soothes me. Vanilla can fix everything. I want vanilla sometimes, too.

But I don’t think vanilla is what The Row set out to do entirely. The brand was founded on the hypothesis of the perfect white t-shirt and named for London’s Savile Row. The co-founders’ diminutive size no doubt forced them to think creatively about tailoring as they began collecting as teens. Adulthood arrives, and there you have it: simple things, impeccably made.

But a white t-shirt isn’t the centerpiece of a wardrobe. It’s a canvas. It’s meant to shapeshift and act as the quarterback for the more important parts of a look. It’s perfectly tasty vanilla on its own, but it’s begging for some sprinkles.

It makes me wonder if Ashley and Mary Kate Olsen weren’t trying to be the entire message of your wardrobe, but to provide the best possible foundation for it. The twins themselves rarely step out in their pragmatic pieces alone — they accessorize recklessly and collect vintage with obvious joy. Their clothes are worldly. They choose things with provenance, history, and humor. Everything they pick shares a similar sense of ease, but the brand echoes their own analog natures: The Row’s assortment isn’t meant to be the center of attention, but rather to hold up the pieces that are.

They all but tell us this in their own whispered way. Collaborating with stores like Desert Vintage and Preclothed isn’t a money tree waiting to be plucked. It’s a world-building move, a nudge in the direction of what they hold to be true on their own. Maybe the reveal of Mary Kate and Oliver Sarkozy’s Hamptons home — all art and color — will give purists permission to tiptoe out of The Row’s black box and use it as the canvas intended.

The Row triggers people for the same reason it seduces them: it is a brand that asks you to know better. The prices are not a secret, the logo is not on the bag, and there is no flex available to anyone who hasn’t already opted into the conversation. To the seduced, this is the appeal. To the triggered, it is the most galling kind of class signaling, precisely because it refuses to announce itself. Both camps are responding to the same thing: the brand’s refusal to do any of the work for you. But to read The Row solely as a status object — whether you’re buying in or rolling your eyes — is to make the same mistake as the disciples in the black box.

You can glide along the surface of fashion forever if you want. Shop, consume, chase. There’s pleasure in it. But the people who actually move me are not the ones who took the swatch home and painted the whole house with it. They’re the ones who looked at the swatch and went somewhere else entirely. You can dissect your closet into an analytical formula of color theory, capsules, and rules all you want, but I think the best outfits have a degree of cooking from the hip.

I collect art with a voracity I rarely share here. The painters and photographers whom I love do more for the way I get dressed than any lookbook ever has. Not because I’m trying to translate a Currin bosom into an outfit, but because spending time with someone else’s specific, weird, fully-formed point of view reminds me that I’m supposed to have one too. Nobody hangs a blank white canvas on a wall.

The Gala pant isn’t the problem or the solution; it’s a springboard. The problem is stopping at the Gala pant. The solution is whatever you find when you keep going.

In March, a group of girlfriends and I went to Palm Beach for my birthday. We stayed in the Goop Villa at The Colony Hotel, which has lots of lovely little balconies that are flooded with great natural light. I was wearing shorts and swimwear that day, and my legs were pale as hell after an especially long New York winter.

“I need to do my leg trick,” I said.

“What’s that?” said Cassandra.

My eyes lit up. “Step into my office,” I said. And we went out on the balcony.

She watched in utter fascination as my legs went from pale and blemished to flawless, tanned, and toned.

“Holy shit,” she said.

“What are y’all doing?” Abby hollered from the other room.

“I’m showing her the leg trick!” I hollered back. I’d given Abby the same demonstration the summer prior in Sag Harbor before a beach day.

“It’s amazing! I bought everything, and I do it all the time now,” Abby yelled.

Cassandra was stunned. “Oh my God,” she said. “I need that.” And then she promptly ordered everything.

A few weeks later, the same group was back in Palm Beach, and I squinted at Cassandra’s arms out by the pool. Her skin looked so good. “Did you do the trick?”

“I did the trick,” she said. “I am obsessed.”

And now, because you, dear reader, are also my friend, I am going to tell you the trick. I use it on my legs, but the truth is, you can use it anywhere on your body that needs a little polish.

P.S., this makes an excellent pairing with the kind of bath that will ruin a man’s life.

Read more

Haven’t you heard? It’s a hot divorcee summer! One does not have to be divorced to embody this energy, it’s more of an attitude. A spiritual alignment, if you will. It’s looking expensive, saying yes to everything, and letting a little cheek out.

Cheeks, you say? Which ones? Well, both. The kind you dab a little blush on, and the kind that sticks out from under your bikini briefs. With the summer sale season kicking off this weekend, there’s no better time to shop with your summer archetype in mind.

Below, a little boost for your bum and your buccal.

Subscribe now

Blush and Bronze

• Violet Grey’s semi-annual “put it in the bag” event is on, offering a generous site wide discount of 20%. Victoria Beckham’s Water Tint has been enjoying an internet revival which pushed me toward a re-try. You just need the tiniest drop to give your cheeks the tiniest, most skin-like flush. I LOVE. I layered it over Hermes Beauty’s new Plein Air foundation, which comes in the most beautiful presentation I have ever seen — down to the artful little artist’s palette. (You can see the other wildly desirable things we found at our Hermes press appointment a few weeks ago on our new Instagram — hello, lipstick belt and this nail polish.)

• You can’t think of summer cheeks and not bother with a bit of bronzer. Lately, I like Bob Beaute’s powder formula, which is micro-fine and goes on in a slippy veil with its companion brush. If you’re looking for a touch more pigment, then I suggest veering your cart towards Farah Homidi’s bronzer compact instead. (I think the tawny shades look particularly great with Westman Atelier’s Hydratint in the shade “Bob”, named for Gucci’s beloved Cavapoo!)

• Chanel Beauty sent a litany of my friends and I into a tizzy when they sent the over-the-top Kit and Caboodle to dozens of cool girls. I’ve had a minute to live with it now, and my favorite product from the batch is the lip/cheek baume in Vital Beige. It’s a pinky shade that looks gorgeous on the eyelids as well.

  Share

The Peek of Cheek

• Nothing boosts your buns like a little lift from heels. Lucasheva is new to me, but I’m pining for a delicate pair of their cutie pie Amelie sandals to style with butt-boosting light faded vintage jeans from aligrace. Jude kindly gifted me a pair of their Rooty leather thong sandals — I put them on and wore them straight out the door to a full day of appointments in the city with no comfort issues whatsoever. I foresee a summer workhorse.

• Minis are the moment this summer. I love the low scoop back of this Prada number. Paired with the short hemline it’s a delicious, chill way to sex up a pair of strappy flip flops. Or maybe something a little cooler, like these. Finish with a set of barely-there floating gems that glimmer in the sunlight.

• Hot cross buns: this swimsuit is unassuming from the front, but the back has a high-cut surprise.

• If your derriere is the limited territory of your lover, I suggest these for a peek of cheek.

Sales of Note:

• Toteme’s private sale launched mere minutes ago. You need to be logged into your account, but the discounts are meaningful. There are plenty of universally-appealing gems under $200, like this little over-the-shoulder number that’s a wildly easy way to punch up any ‘fit and an on-trend tuxedo scarf. But for the investment buyers who are looking for something more sturdy, even the brand’s classic box-leather riding boots are included in the sale.

• Nearly all of the big e-tailers are in private sale mode now, too. But Moda Operandi’s assortment is particularly good. Case in point: this thrilling Heirlome dress, summer-y pants from High Sport, beaded fancies from Julietta, satin sandals from Herbert Levine, and that Rohe dress.

Have a great weekend.

Leave a comment

It started with a frog-clasp top, then a viral leather jacket, and then it was on the Instagram of every girl I do not know wearing it to some restaurant I have been trying to get into. The brand is Róhe. It is pronounced roe-uh. And it’s everywhere.

Róhe was established in 2021 by Marieke Meulendijks and Maickel Weyers in Amsterdam. The house philosophy, in their words, is an “infinite dialogue of quiet confidence” — craft, innovation, and an artistic community converging across collections defined by a rewritten definition of tailoring and elevated minimalism. Italian fabrics. Uncompromising quality. A personal garderobe meant to transcend seasons. The official line is that COVID created the pause Marieke needed to finally build the brand she and her husband had always talked about.

The origin story is more interesting than the press materials let on. Róhe is not a 2021 startup wunderkind in any meaningful sense. It is the rebrand of Les Coyotes de Paris, the Amsterdam womenswear line Marieke Meulendijks founded in 2015 after leaving Scotch & Soda.

Meulendijks had a non-compete that prevented her from designing for women and men for a few years, so she started Les Coyotes as a girls’ brand for ages 8 to 18, inspired by Françoise Hardy and a certain 1970s Parisian idea of young femininity. When the contract lifted, she expanded into women’s, and by 2021, she and her partner, Maickel Weyers, had relaunched the women’s arm under a new name with a new point of view. Róhe is what the grown woman got.

The rebrand matters because it reframes Róhe not as an overnight minimalism success but as a second act from a designer who had already spent a decade understanding what the adjacent customer actually wanted. That customer, at the moment the rebrand landed, was grieving Céline under Phoebe Philo and had perhaps grown weary of The Row’s prices. Róhe walked into a specific gap in the market with Italian fabrics and tailoring details that undercut competitors’ prices by roughly half.

The distribution strategy is the other piece of the puzzle. Róhe launched at a small list of directional multi-brand retailers first, the kind of shops that function as taste filters. Net-a-Porter picked it up next, then Liberty, then a wave of boutiques from Melbourne to Copenhagen. The brand has been notably patient about not blanketing every e-commerce platform at once, which is why the clothes still feel like a discovery.

The seeding has been more strategic than the breakout would suggest, too. I cannot point to a single celebrity moment that made Róhe happen. What I can point to is the slow pile-up of fashion editors, writers, and stylists wearing it relentlessly until the brand crossed over. They have a bloodhound nose for “cool girls”, and the brand does a rigorous job of ensuring their clothes land —gifted— in those closets.

What Róhe does well is the detail you catch on the second look. The placket on a cardigan is reworked to read as a small design argument rather than a closure. A double collar sits on the trench where a single collar would have done fine. I’d argue they handily repopularized the now-inescapable Mandarin jacket silhouette, seen on everyone from your favorite fashion creator to Jennifer Lawrence.

The prices are high, but not as serious as those of spiritually aligned brands like Phoebe Philo. A coat runs in the two thousands rather than, say, ten. A knit is five to eight hundred. The outerwear is where the design language is most legible, but the lightweight cotton pieces are what I find myself falling for.

What Róhe has right now is the narrow, magical window between being discovered and being everywhere, and the women who get it are buying accordingly.

Jess Graves: You two are partners in life and in the business. Who says no first when a piece is not working, and how does that conversation usually go?

Marieke Meulendijks + Maickel Weyers: Our roles are very much their own. Marieke studied fashion and textiles at the Amsterdam Fashion Institute and now oversees the full creative direction of Róhe. Maickel’s background in finance from the University of Amsterdam brings a complementary perspective, as he focuses exclusively on the company's financial and business side. Ultimately, the creative decisions are fully made by Marieke.

JG: Róhe is an introverted brand, both in its marketing and in its clothes. Was the restraint a strategic choice, or is it just how you two work?

MM + MW: We’ve always approached our work from a place of intuition rather than strategy, allowing ideas to take shape through process, dialogue, and lived experience. The restraint was never a conscious choice; it’s simply how we work and who we are. As a more introverted person myself, it’s important to me that clothes offer a calm sense of empowerment without being too loud, allowing you to feel confident in who you are.

JG: The Italian mills you work with, particularly Ley Tricot on the knitwear, have been with the brand since the early days. What does a typical meeting with them look like, and what is the hardest thing you have ever asked them to make for you?

MM: Throughout the years, they have become like family. When I’m in Italy, the days are spent going through yarns, talking about shape and silhouette, looking at a first prototype, and continuing from there together. It’s a continuous dialogue. In the evenings, she cooks at home, and we sit, eat, and talk, and it makes the work so enjoyable, like being with family, sharing ideas, and changing them as you go.

The most difficult piece we’ve made together was a sculptural plissé top in a very fine nylon yarn, almost like thread, incredibly delicate. We still laugh about it to this day, how much fun it was to experiment with such a unique yarn.

JG: Which pieces in the Róhe archive have you each leaned on the hardest over the years, the ones you keep returning to season after season, and what do those choices tell you about your own design instincts?

MM: A lot of the collection is inspired by my personal wardrobe archive. Throughout my life, I’ve had a passion for collecting: clothes, furniture, art, and objects that hold a special place. The most meaningful pieces I keep. Among them is a jacket with pankou closures that I’ve had since I was twenty-three. I found that while traveling through Asia, I was deeply inspired by the precision and simplicity of tailoring and detailing found in traditional garments there. The refined detailing of the pankou closure resonates with my genuine appreciation for craft and tradition. It is, in many ways, a true reflection of what I love most about design.

JG: Amsterdam is not an obvious “fashion capital” in the way Paris or Milan is, and you have stayed. What does the distance give you creatively that being in Paris would not?

MM: Amsterdam is the place of our home, our studio, and our lives. By being rooted here rather than in another fashion capital, we also aim to put Amsterdam more on the map. The city has so much to offer. Its rich culture shines through its beautiful buildings, fascinating history, vibrant art scene, and the diversity of its people. The brand is continuously inspired by Dutch history and its rich textile tradition. We respect our surroundings, cherish the arts and crafts of the Netherlands, and it is this interest in culture that makes designing each collection feel like an act of gratitude for the preservation of history that surrounds us.

JG: Marieke, you have talked about photography and architecture as primary sources of inspiration. Who is the architect or photographer whose work is sitting on your desk right now, and what are you pulling from them?

MM: At the moment, I’m drawing a lot of inspiration from archival Dutch landscape paintings, mostly the ones with windmills. We sometimes also visit the Rijksmuseum to discover lesser-known works, and the colors of those paintings naturally find their way into our moodboard and design process. Lately, I’ve been collecting a lot of Dutch paintings, images, and objects as well; there’s something about that world that I keep returning to.

JG: Maickel, what is the business decision you have made in the last two years that other people thought was a mistake and you knew was right?

MW: A lot has changed in the last two years, and looking back, the decisions all came from the same instinct: to let go and focus on what truly matters with intention. Stopping Les Coyotes de Paris and the menswear collection wasn’t a straightforward decision, but it allowed us to focus entirely on womenswear and continue building it to its full potential. We also decided to bring sales in-house. We deeply value our client relationships and wanted to be in more direct contact with the people who carry and believe in Róhe.

Share

JG: The luxury e-commerce landscape has shifted significantly in the last eighteen months, with Matches closing, the Saks debacle, the MyTheresa/Net-a-Porter convergence, and SSENSE under real pressure. How has that reshaped the way you think about where Róhe should sell?

MM + MW: The shifts in the landscape have encouraged us to think more carefully about where and how we show up. Consumer behaviour has changed significantly. People are increasingly looking for curated, considered spaces where a brand is presented with real intention. Specialty stores and boutiques have become increasingly important to us, and we’ve seen awareness grow through those relationships, with clients coming in specifically asking for Róhe.

However, our larger retail and online partners are still equally important. The way they present Róhe to their audiences, and the trust they place in the brand, is something we genuinely value. In the end, reaching different people through different channels, each in their own way, feels like the right approach for where Róhe is today.

Leave a comment

More Designer Dossier…

Mother’s Day is on Sunday, the 10th! Did you forget? Oops! No worries, though. We have a gift guide with all kinds of great stuff right here. Need even more ideas? That’s okay, too! Below, a quick and dirty short list of (more) things we know she’d love. Just don’t forget the card, ok?

1. Madame Grey Perfume: arresting, mysterious, ageless… pretty much perfect. A very limited selection of full-size bottles is available at 20% off for a short time with code LOVELISTVIP — along with timely mailing for Mother’s Day.

2. Counter Beauty: If she’s the kind of Mom who feels overwhelmed by the enormity of products on the market, give her the gift of one less decision: a simple, easy-to-maintain routine. First, a simple but effective daily facial sunscreen (because you love her and want her to be safe). Next, a plumping, mild, and peptide-rich moisturizer to apply after. (Perhaps be ready to explain what peptides are!) Finally, a dewy skin tint to even out imperfections — easy enough to apply with fingertips in two minutes, without the cakiness of full-coverage foundation. Better yet, the brand is running a sitewide Friends & Family event, offering up to 30% off. Mama didn’t raise a fool who overpays!

3. Tania Buholes tea cup set: Teacups with butterfly wings? For the Mom who loves a little whimsy, these are the sweetest!

4. EREDE Delta signet ring: I love Co-founder and Designer Talia Levy’s beautiful shots of her Mom, decked out in diamonds from her brand. The Delta Signet ring is an incredible gift if you really want to spoil her.

5. Celisse “Little Something” nail set (THELOVELIST for 15% off): If she’s like me and hates sitting still every two weeks for a tedious manicure, give her Celisse’s starter set of low-maintenance nail tools and quick-drying polish that swipes on almost as fast as a lipstick. She’s busy!

6. Custom Lingua Franca sweater (JESS10 for 10% off): If she has opinions about things like ICE raids, get her a cheeky knit that takes no prisoners.

7. Il Buco Vita anything (JESS15 for 15% off): From beeswax candles and chic coffee mugs to winged decanters and Portuguese pottery, if she loves to cook and entertain, send her something from the beloved New York institution where I’ve made many fond memories with the Moms in my own life.

And if you’re in New York… some friends of The Love List, including Kindred Black and Don’t Let Disco, are gathering to put on a trunk show for you last-minute shoppers:

• First of all, WE LAUNCHED ON INSTAGRAM!!

• Anyway. Colleen Allen’s stock is ever-climbing. I got one of her moody cloaks in black velvet, and the ability to wear it immediately is a tiny silver lining to the still-chilly weather in NYC.

• Just a note to say The Row’s Riaco jeans are perfect.

• Juju Vera’s lighter necklace from Moda’s capsule is the first you’re going to see in a long bleat of similar styles. Edie Parker offers one. And I hear is working on one, as well. (I have been chatting with Dame Lisa Eisner about a custom number, too.) Smoking: so hot right now. Even if you don’t actually smoke.

• Speaking of smoking, this cigarette case from Esencial Hogar! Hello! I’m kind of obsessed with Celina’s brain. Also consider this from The Rolling and The Stoned.

• If your chosen vice is bubblier and you got it like that, swaddle it in this.

• I think vintage Lacroix (Christian, not Pamplemousse) is hot on the heels of Romeo Gigli for a certain breed of vintage collector.

• It’s the same breed of girl who was buying Heirlome three seasons ago, while you’re only now being put on.

• Have any of you tried the buzzy NAD+ Smartpen from Remedy? I am so curious… is it gonna make my stomach lurch like the IV?

• Coco Beach, amirite???? But like also, that’s not a shoe girl, that’s a sh—.

• Rohe, keeping it cool as hell.

• Have y’all seen these wild HABELO hand gloves at Violet Grey? If we’re just now meeting, I have this thing with my hands. I am obsessed with the identity politics of manicures and study ring stacks like an NYU 2L with 100k of debt on the line. So this is riiiiiiight up my alley. You could use your own hand cream (like Soft Services Retinol, maybe?) or HABELO’s hand serum, specifically formulated for those gloves. (THELOVELIST15)

• On my Spring art to-do list: Lisa Yuskavage at David Zwirner, Domenico Gnoli at Lévy Gorvy Dayan, Ruffles and Ribbons at The Frick (thank you for the heads up on this one, !).

• DORSEY TURQUOISE IS BACK (!!!)

• ^^ (the grail was these)

• ^^ (but one day I’ll find this in my size too, mark my words)

• A tisket, a tasket, your phone demands a basket.

• I do declare that the same girls to swoop in on Colleen Allen’s current cloakage will next descend upon Conner Ives’ splendiferous demi-couture coats, preorder now to break them out the second that first leaf drops in the fall.

• Friendly reminder that the savviest readers know product excavations drop in THE SHOP first. (It’s like, really good.)

• All the girls want the “Nina Park lip” and Mary Phillips’ underpainted complexions. The latter is pretty easy to achieve now that Mary has her own product line. The former is a bit more technique-elusive. I’ve found that a new-to-me line called Finding Ferdinand (gifting Gods, being useful!) makes this sheer blackberry balm-stick situation, which, with a few swashes over a blurred lip line, pulls off the effect in mere seconds.

• Diptyque has completely overhauled its packaging. Fear not, we aren’t in “new Coke” territory: it’s the same chic, just tweaked— and now they’ll soon be refillable, too.

• Speaking of easy ways to fragrance your house, one of the sneakiest is to wash your linens in something divine like dEdcooL or Glamour Wash (silliest name, best product), then boost it with something low-key drugstore-y, like Downy Boutique Botanicals. Yes, Downy. I like Peonia (duh, Peony) and Folia. Skip the Citrica scent. For New Yorkers who send their laundry out, just throw it in the pickup bag.

• I think it’s kind of apropos for Marc Jacobs to stage a comeback somewhat timed with Devil Wears Prada dos and the Met Gala. We got the Marc by Sofia doc (PS Sofia’s beach house!), the summer relaunch of Marc Jacobs Beauty (thank you for that tip!), and the hard-launch seeding campaign for his new THE SCENE bag, which I guarantee you’re going to start seeing everywhere very, very shortly. I like that straight out of the gate, it’s coming in a menagerie of sizes and colors. And the price point, by comparison to a lot of other designer things out there (the medium is $465), isn’t as eye-watering.

• Downy and Ruggable, who am I? But honestly, the Ruggable x Scalamandre collab is… pretty rad? Like, I now have one in my living room if you need proof of said radness.

• I just got back from the beach, and damn if it isn’t already sweltering in Florida. It sent me down a cheap-and-cheerful rabbit hole in search of cute hot-weather dresses. From the Reformation: this dress, styled with this bag. Or this for a summer wedding! From Ann Mashburn, this ladylike linen shift. And from COS: this cutie pie puff-sleeve, or this super-forgiving white shift — with sleeves, if you prefer.

• When your dog is that girl, reach for Biche, founded by Beauty Editor Alexandra Pauly. One of the ways Alex earned her rescue pup Cam’s trust after adopting him was by building a regular hands-on grooming routine. Throughout the process, she quickly realized how lackluster the pet grooming products on the market were. They paled in comparison to the beauty products she constantly tested as an editor. So she fixed that.

• DL1961 got the pink jeans memo, too. The wide leg!

• POV: You’re a guest at my wedding. This! This! THIS.

• And then, slather yourself in this delicious potion from Kindred Black because the ceremony is on the beach!

• This, with jeans. A Millennial “going out top”, but less Forever 21 and more Forever 35 due to her doctor and skincare regimen.

• I like when Tory Burch does random pops of freaky, like with this bag. But also, did you see she brought your favorite top back in a new colorway?

• Behold, the platonic ideal of a white summer dress. Style with these. Or these. Or this.

• Met The Vin Store’s (TikTok-famous) Dad at Current Affair and kind of obsessed with this family.

• I wish I’d had these for Cowboy Carter.

• Wild fantasy alert! GOOD GOD.

• GOOOOOOOD gOD.

• And the wildest fantasy of all.

Five years of this newsletter, no social.

That was on purpose. For years, I refused to give The Love List its own Instagram. I said I’d never do it. The newsletter was the newsletter. My feed was my feed. I liked the line.

What can I say? I got over myself, changed my mind, and hired some help.

The newsletter now has its own home on Instagram!

FOLLOW THE LOVE LIST ON INSTAGRAM

@thelovelist.wtf is the brand. @jessnellgraves is still me.

You need an incentive? Oh, fine…

Last year, Lauren Santo Domingo coined the term “Silly little bag” in our newsletter. We shortened it to “SLB”. She said everyone needs one, and I agree.

How about two?

It’s the Substack Starter Pack: SLB Edition.

Take your pick from two sold-out bags: Valesque’s viral “Thea“ SLB in pink or The Row’s gold mesh “Imogen” mini tote.

In each, an array of goodies: sunnies, fragrance from Memo Paris and Perfumehead, jewels from At Present, Julietta’s sold-out “Opiyum” collar, and more.

Head to Instagram to win.

Win Yourself a SLB on IG

People on this platform copy me. Shamelessly, sometimes, and with a specificity that crosses from flattery into plagiarism. I see my outfit collages restaged. I see my market work lifted almost whole. I see the structure of my newsletters reproduced, my phrases repeated back to me without attribution, my voice mimicked with an uncanniness that stops being charming, my ideas and archetypes blatantly stolen, the exact colors I use in my graphic design showing up in somebody else’s template two weeks after I’ve used them. I see editors from larger publications lifting my ideas, and voices on other platforms riffing on my work, without attribution. Woof.

Am I annoyed? Yes! I would be lying if I said I wasn’t. I have spent twenty years developing this point of view, and it is, at minimum, mildly insulting to watch it get Xeroxed in real time by women who have put in twenty months, and by publications that should, frankly, know better.

But! I have decided that if people are going to copy me anyway, I might as well save them a step and tell them how the whole thing actually works.

So here is the shopping newsletter playbook. I wrote it, and I dare you to do it better.

Let’s be clear: I am first and foremost a writer and an editor. Not an editor in the grammatical sense; an editor in the way a magazine has an editor — someone whose job is POV. This is the part most people building in this space get wrong, and it is the part I want to begin with, because everything else I say in this letter follows from it.

I did not set out to build “an affiliate business” (ick). I did not set out to build a media company (oops). I set out to write and to edit.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the anonymous fashion Substacker and the $275K that scandalized the internet. It got shared! It got quoted! It got the kind of comment section that made me love my readers more than I already did.
But the response I wasn’t expecting, and the one I want to answer today, came into my inbox.

It came from dozens of women. Writers, mostly, some with small newsletters, some with none yet, all of them asking some version of the same question.

How did you actually do this? Would you tell me? Would you help?

Yes, I will help! That is what this letter is.

The earlier piece was about my right to be paid for the work. This piece is about the work itself, and how you can do yours. There is no formula, and I would not trust anyone who told you there was.

But there are things I know now that I wish I had known at the beginning. And if you’re going to copy me, at least do it with the full instructions. But mostly, this is just here for anyone who wants to dip their toe into this world — there’s a feast happening in real time, so pull up a chair and join me.

1. Your newsletter is Bergdorf Goodman. Or is it The Gap? Decide.

The reader who opens a newsletter is not being interrupted. She is not scrolling past you on her way to something else. She chose to read. That is the most valuable permission on the internet, and almost nobody talks about it that way.

Treat the inbox like the storefront it is. Merchandise beautifully. Know what’s on the floor. Help people think about how these objects will integrate into their lives. Speak to their function and care. Present a great experience, whether or not anyone makes a purchase.

Respect those who came in. Don’t waste their time. Write something worth their attention, in the voice they subscribed to, and the rest follows.

2. You need three things, and most people have none of them.

Read more