An 1800's Amagansett Farmhouse and a Beach to Float Me
My house is full of flowers. It looks like a funeral home in here. In a way, it kind of is.
I have this big wool blanket from Nickey Kehoe that I’ve been hiding under for the past week. It’s covered in cheerful pink flowers, which is an ironic foil to the mood it’s shielding me from. I’ve been in bed a lot. No surprise there. What else do you do when you’re sad? I take to my bed. I could run the world from my bed, and I have been doing exactly that this week. No, I don’t want to talk about “it” right now. But if you want to tell me your opinions on Love Island, it’s been my favorite distraction during this time.
When I’m not in an anxious spiral about things I cannot control, I’ve been combing the internet for interesting and beautiful things. I have said before, I find it medicinal. I need to make stuff to be happy, so seeing other people make stuff makes me happy too.
My Mom is on her way here now. She is going to take care of me for a few days. You really never grow out of needing your Mommy, do you? Then I am going to Sea Island with my friend Abby for the July Fourth holiday. Calling Abby a friend feels dumb right now because she is so much more to me than that. She is a sister. I don’t think calling guests and vendors was what she thought she signed up for when she agreed to be my Maid of Honor, but she’s handled it with equal measures of grace and ferocity. It will also be good to be home in the South for a while. I need to see old, familiar faces.
My house is full of flowers. It looks like a funeral home in here. In a way, it kind of is. But the wonderful friends who have held me up and asked nothing in return, not even a text, have been my reason to rise every day.
I rented an 1800s farmhouse in Amagansett (similar vibe) for the remainder of the summer, since my July is now suddenly wide open. It’s a stone’s throw from the Hamptons’ most dog-friendly beach and a short walk to Amber Waves Farm and Il Buco. I plan to hunker down, pour myself into my book, and do my best to salvage the summer while I wait for Kevin to heal. When you love someone this much, and they are hurting, it feels like the worry is going to drown you. But being by the water is healing for me, and I hope to float instead.
I was aware, when I sent the letter out earlier this week, that there would be people who would be kind and others who would be unkind. Judging by the insane amount of views, sends, and reposts on Instagram, people are gossiping, and I’m sure not all of it’s nice.
But I am used to being talked about. That’s just the nature of this job. After all, I can’t write about planning a wedding for 18 months, have it suddenly not happen, and then give no explanation. I do feel I owe you that, and while I don’t feel I owe the Internet all of my truths (I’ll save that for the book), I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the outpouring of love so many of you have sent me. I have read every note, comment, and email.
What’s next? Well, I don’t know. Time will tell. I have a big, empty summer ahead of me that was once full of plans. Anything can happen. But I do know that working and writing help me feel better, so I’m not going to abandon The Love List just because I’m sad.
And guess what? It’s our fifth anniversary this year, and we have some really amazing things in the pipeline, including some really special collaborations with the women I’ve met along the way of doing this. Those will begin rolling out in July, but you’ll see more of them this fall and during the holidays. Female friendships are the one constant in my life, no matter what else happens, and The Love List is ultimately a love letter to them. Our anniversary will be a celebration of that.
In the meantime, I want to put some things out in the universe. Vogue, I want to write an essay for you about this unusual bridal journey. I think it would resonate with your readers in particular. Podcasters, I want to come on your show. I want to talk about Substack, business, work, life, and operating vulnerably. Home/shelter publications, my Gramercy Park apartment is finally finished! I would love to see it published somewhere; it was a lot of work. It’s a home that’s held me through a lot, and it was designed with a ton of heart. Moda Operandi, I want to do an edit with you!
If you can make one of these things happen, or if you just want to talk, my email is heyjg@jessgraves.com.
Anyway, here are some things I found beautiful this week.
MyTheresa is doing their annual pop-up in East Hampton with a curated mobile boutique in a custom Airstream, but this year, you can shop for everything online as well. I’m always inspired by the irreverence and creativity they plug into these activations.
My back garden is full of these candles. Not only are they beautiful to look at, but they also keep the mosquitoes at bay.
I love this toothpaste-colored ostrich clutch. What a hue.
Violet Grey always curates the best little boxes. They think in packages — I do, too. Their poolside box is a good one. All the little beauty things you need to post up by the water.
Speaking of beauty, I look like hammered death. Ryan, my hairstylist and love from David Mallett in Soho, came over yesterday to give me a little Keratin treatment so I can air-dry my hair for the rest of the summer. I’m going to The Brightwood tomorrow morning to have them laser and inject the sadness out of my face. And I haven’t seen the sun in days, so I’m going to fake it.
Y’all know I am vigilant about only endorsing things I truly use, and nothing has gotten more use than my Helix mattress this week. They kindly gave us a code (THELOVELIST) for 27% off — an extra 2% on top of the standard 25, just to be cheeky.
Speaking of heavy use this week, tummy tea and my beloved sleep crown.
Also: anything very soft, like this Renggli sweater.
Juju Vera just keeps cranking out beautiful things.
Farah Homidi is not only a sweetheart but a brilliant brand person. I love that she gave us sunnies.
These wedges with a pair of long shorts are exactly the vibe I want to channel this summer. Exerting as little effort as possible while not descending into a total slob kabob is paramount.
The Reformation x Umbro collaboration speaks to my childhood soccer player heart.
This GWYN shirt is going to be my summer uniform.
I clipped this funny charm onto my Sherman Field cord necklace, and it makes me smile whenever I look at it.
I’m going to use the hell out of this and this in the Hamptons.
I love all the women cooking at both Crown Affair and ILIA, so this collaboration (and pink towel!) was an arrow straight to my heart.
One of my favorite vintage dealers just launched a trunk show on Moda. She has the best edit and isn’t grossly overpriced. Jewelry is one of the most fun things to buy, isn’t it? Instant payoff, never a worry about fit, always joyful to look at, sparks conversation… just a little happiness on your body. I bought something similar to this from her not long ago.
At La Garconne last weekend, I fell in love with Dusan. I got these pants, which are a perfect kicky crop with a pair of Phoebe Philo heels.
Finally, I splurged on one of Lisa Eisner’s Saint Christopher bag charms on the same day. They had two or three at The Row’s Amagansett store. If a time ever warranted divine protection for safe travels, it is now.
Message Received 🕊️
I’m honestly not judging but the thing I don’t understand is why you aren’t with your fiancé right now? I must be missing something. Best to you on your healing journey.