Hi Jess - after my wedding I suffered from nearly debilitating anxiety, for several weeks. I am no stranger to anxiety, but this was something much, much worse. I have thought about that time a lot, and I think it was this: I think the world puts so much pressure on weddings and brides because it is the only time we take women seriously. It is the only time it is acceptable for women to be precise, insistent, demanding, uncompromising, self-absorbed, unavailable (clients did not care when I was out of the office for x, y, or z, but dress shopping? They would “catch me tomorrow and you would look great in strapless!!”) and, of course, the center of attention. And when the wedding is over, as dark as it is, I think I felt shame about taking up so much SPACE during the planning, like I had to lead every interaction with an apology. The re-shrinking was fast and furious. I know your circumstances are different, but offering my experience as a gentle reminder that misogyny is a bastard that is always lurking in the bushes. Much love from grey and foggy San Francisco! Xx, Sam
What was it Karen Blixen (writing as Isak Dinesen) said? “The cure for anything is saltwater—sweat, tears or the sea.” Find that to be more true each year. I hope you find exactly what you need this summer.
This need in our culture to make everything so black or white is crazy to me. No one lives in absolutes; we are all allowed to hold conflicting feelings.
As for beauty—why else do we think flowers are always sent when people are grieving. It’s the beautiful things that give us hope to keep going!
“She’s rescuing herself” - that’s really it, so perfectly said. As lovely as the white knight sounds, it’s so much more enchanting not to need him at all.
I've just caught up on reading your recent updates re: husband, wedding, grief, change, life... YOU GOT THIS 🤍. Thank you for sharing with us along the way. Hope this time at the sea gives you everything you need and ask for.
Jess, thanks for sharing and for being open on how to get through. I am sure that you will ❤️ a style Q also, how does the row beach sandal fit? Did you consider both black and white? Need none but love both 🫠
Hi Jess - after my wedding I suffered from nearly debilitating anxiety, for several weeks. I am no stranger to anxiety, but this was something much, much worse. I have thought about that time a lot, and I think it was this: I think the world puts so much pressure on weddings and brides because it is the only time we take women seriously. It is the only time it is acceptable for women to be precise, insistent, demanding, uncompromising, self-absorbed, unavailable (clients did not care when I was out of the office for x, y, or z, but dress shopping? They would “catch me tomorrow and you would look great in strapless!!”) and, of course, the center of attention. And when the wedding is over, as dark as it is, I think I felt shame about taking up so much SPACE during the planning, like I had to lead every interaction with an apology. The re-shrinking was fast and furious. I know your circumstances are different, but offering my experience as a gentle reminder that misogyny is a bastard that is always lurking in the bushes. Much love from grey and foggy San Francisco! Xx, Sam
Definitely not the only situation in which women are taken seriously.
Great one Jess.
What was it Karen Blixen (writing as Isak Dinesen) said? “The cure for anything is saltwater—sweat, tears or the sea.” Find that to be more true each year. I hope you find exactly what you need this summer.
Damn 😅
This need in our culture to make everything so black or white is crazy to me. No one lives in absolutes; we are all allowed to hold conflicting feelings.
As for beauty—why else do we think flowers are always sent when people are grieving. It’s the beautiful things that give us hope to keep going!
From one beach bum to another- happy 4th!
Just wow. This is the best thing I’ve read in years. An Anthem to Beauty. Amen.
Loved this one
“She’s rescuing herself” - that’s really it, so perfectly said. As lovely as the white knight sounds, it’s so much more enchanting not to need him at all.
❤️ queen
Your outfit is absolute perfection! Sending all of the healing vibes!
I've just caught up on reading your recent updates re: husband, wedding, grief, change, life... YOU GOT THIS 🤍. Thank you for sharing with us along the way. Hope this time at the sea gives you everything you need and ask for.
So excited for this chapter of yours!!!
Jess, thanks for sharing and for being open on how to get through. I am sure that you will ❤️ a style Q also, how does the row beach sandal fit? Did you consider both black and white? Need none but love both 🫠
i wear them constantly, v comfy snd true to size
You are lovely and loved. Stay strong in who you are and what you desire. Enjoy your beautiful summer!
I admire you so much. You are heroic
Talking to the people who sit next to you is my favorite one on this great list. 💚
Hi Jess this is so powerful and moving and brave. It’s like you’ve turned your sadness into beauty with your words. Thank you for sharing it.