Getting Dressed for "Lunch Culture"

Where do the ladies lunch, the cool girls convene, the dilettantes dine?

Annette Reed (left, shortly before she became Annette de la Renta), Jayne Wrightsman (middle), and Washington Post senior editor Lally Weymouth at Le Cirque in 1989. Photo: Marina Garnier. Source: Vanity Fair

It was on my friend

Jalil Johnson

’s newsletter where the phrase “lunch culture” found its way to me, in his interview with

somsack sikhounmuong

. It instantly clicked with me because there’s a nostalgia I yearn for in the semi-lost art of the long lunch. The “see and be seen” of it is thrilling, as is the question of “what will I wear?”

I especially love the idea of women lunching together, reclaiming time from motherhood, work, or any of the infinite things we juggle. Girlfriends are perhaps as important or more so than the romantic partners we choose. Our friends may outlast our partners altogether. They are relationships to be nurtured. So I think lunch, as an extension of sisterhood, is an act of ministry and pleasure, even rebellion. It’s sort of a productive dilly-dally.

“Lunch Culture” is an idea that begs us to slow down and enjoy the sweetness of doing less, maybe nothing at all. Maybe afterward, you can explore the neighborhood’s little shops on foot or wander into a museum. Maybe you drag it out into a coffee or two glasses of wine.

My friend

Joyce Lee

and I do this all the time. We call it “be-bopping”. It’s our way of saying, “Let’s meet up and see where the day takes us.” That’s one of the most wonderful things about living in a city like New York: the primary mode of transportation is your own two feet. Joyce and I work things out on each other during these days. We talk about everything from runways to relationships and return home feeling inspired.

Being self-employed, it is essential to get out of the house, soak in the culture of your surroundings, swap stories, and put the disruptive ping of your phone on silent for a few hours.

Even if you’re a company woman working nine to five, carving out time to pause your email brain and meaningfully connect with another person can be just as productive and rewarding in a traditional work environment.

With clothes, we’re telling people about ourselves. When New Yorkers dine out, an element of identity is also wrapped up in the choice of restaurant. So lunch makes for great people-watching because, typically, there is more thought in these outfits. You get to see the best of people’s daywear and how they embrace the culture of the establishment. It’s a moment to articulate the best of what we want to project.

So, where do the ladies lunch, where do the cool girls convene, where do the dilettantes dine? Below are a few of my favorite haunts and, of course, what to wear when you go.

Raf’s: Nili Lotan shirt / Khaite sunglasses and denim / The Row sweater and flats / Savette bag / Lisa Eisner earrings

Raf’s

290 Elizabeth Street, in Noho

Raf’s has a special place in my heart because it was the first New York restaurant where I became a regular. It’s co-owned by twin sisters Jennifer and Nicole Vitagliano, who swan around the dining room in perfectly oversized button-down shirts, Khaite denim, and easy cashmere.

The crowd seems to take its cues from them; sophisticated and composed, the clientele is the type you’ll probably see out East over the summer or freshly flown in from Pasadena. One day, while having lunch with a friend, she pointed out a team from Jenni Kayne, all donned in the brand’s signature knits with jeans.

I’ve seen podcast hosts in well-articulated menswear, popular writers dining in Coperni and Kallmeyer over salmon roe omelets, and more than one famous face with Oliver Peoples sunglasses pushed up on their blown-out heads as they nibble salads. This is where you break out that great Charvet shirt you got in Paris or share your survival tales of The Row sample sale.

On a quick pan around the room, an educated eye would clock Savette bags, Dosa slips, Veronica de Piante knits, and mesh flats spanning from Alaia to The Row among the cappuccinos and glasses of orange wine. Raf’s most aspirational sartorial constituent, however, is more likely to be spotted outside the restaurant: their coveted ball cap, gifted only to the most frequent of regulars.