Trauma? Dysmorphia? Or Am I Just Spoiled?
“It doesn’t matter if I am at my thinnest, if my hair is better than ever, if my outfit is my favorite. I can’t see myself objectively as pretty, and most certainly not as photogenic.” This just really hits
Wow, you’ve explained what I’ve been feeling for years. Thank you, Jess.
I feel like this sometimes and I wondered whether I don really see myself in the photos because of the fact that the mirror would offer a "mirrored" image of my face whereas the camera somehow "corrects" that swapping the sides and therefore I look like a weird version of myself?
You are not alone, and you are not conceited. You are normal, but only bc we live in a capitalist patriarchal society that breeds body/image dysmorphia from such a young age, it might be its most successful outcome. I think most of us can empathize with their day being ruined or dramatically changed after seeing a single photo of themselves taken from the wrong angle or a few lbs heavier. It's so brave to share this level of vulnerability in a blog, and I support you endlessly for your courage & desire to heal. sending love
Jess, I am in tears right now because I have felt EVERY SINGLE WORD you wrote every day of my life. Anytime a camera is pointed at me, I dread the moment I see that photo because I know it has the power to destroy me for days. My poor therapist is pretty close to running out of patience with me because of how often I come to her, devastated by another picture of myself. Jess, You are not alone, you are not too far gone, thank you for writing this and reminding me of that too.
My heart is with you.❤️