55 Comments
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Jessica Kantor's avatar

Your response to the fires and the generosity you showed me after the fires is something I’ll carry with me always.

The Zara gift card you gave afforded me to buy my young son what he needed to thrive moving to NYC and completely rebuild our lives in a new climate with less than a moment’s notice.

And I wish more than anything that I can share my gratitude in a way that can ease your nervous system.

Jess Graves's avatar

I’m so happy to hear you’ve landed on two feet, it was literally the least I could do ❤️

Natalie Catalina's avatar

love all your content, but REALLY LOVE reading more personal posts from you like this 🤍. so much of what you wrote resonates.

Jess Graves's avatar

Thank you! I always lose subscribers when I send more personal things so your note means a lot

Sandra Serrano's avatar

I agree with Natalie…more of this please! I’m in a totally different phase of my life than you, but this still hit hard. It was honest and direct and confident…I loved it. 💖 Those subscribers were here for what you could give them, not for a connection with you. They were always going to leave. Write for the ones that want to stay.

debo's avatar

Nooooooo!!! Such a great, thoughtful read! Congratulations on all the grounding ❤️

Jess Graves's avatar

big year of grounding, great word

debo's avatar

And, honestly, anyone who came thru 2025 w 1-2 friends ~ bless up. I embraced a term from a friend ~ *billy no mates*

😂❤️😂❤️😂

debo's avatar

Like “how was Christmas? Were you Billy no mates? I mostly was”

😂😂.. it’s a fun(ny) perspective xo

Traci Landy's avatar

This has been so hard for me, “Letting go became a theme long before I said it out loud. I stopped carrying relationships that required me to be the entire engine.” - but I’m making progress. I know a lot of of those people who do require me to be “the engine” are disappointed, but I’m learning to cope and take care of my fire first.

Jess Graves's avatar

It’s really hard when you realize that if you stopped calling, your phone wouldn’t ring

Brooke B.'s avatar

“Some [relationships] ran on nostalgia rather than actual connection.” YES.

Shedding these has been hard for me - I keep being the one to try to resuscitate them with a “I miss you!” text to old friends. As a newish mom, I find myself feeling isolated and friendless at times, but going to work on remembering that a smaller, quality social circle is okay.

Jess Graves's avatar

I’m truly of the belief all you really need is one or two people ❤️

Marina Mofford's avatar

This was so human and lovely to read. I’ve followed your content for a long time and this was my favorite post of yours in a while. Thank you for bearing your heart on the internet. Yes, you’re everyone’s resident cool fashion girl but what you give back to your community is invaluable. You showed up for others during a really hard year and that speaks volumes about the wonderful person you are. ❤️

Jess Graves's avatar

Yall are making me sob today

Cindy Fabico Therapy's avatar

Thanks for this vulnerable piece . As a psychotherapist I see so many people struggle with the weight of others and the challenge of honoring themselves. Bravo

Jess Graves's avatar

Thank you ❤️

lesley purcell's avatar

I love your shopping lists but I love this a thousand times more. Here’s to a beautiful 2026 x

Jess Graves's avatar

Get you a girl who can do both ;)

Lynae Anderson Hiley's avatar

Beautiful woman, beautiful soul, beautiful writing, and always so grateful for the different bits of beauty you highlight in your work <3

Sogole Kane's avatar

Wishing you a 2026 of success and PEACE! You deserve both xx

Kirsten O'Haver's avatar

This is so spot on and resonated with me - THANK YOU for being brave and putting it out there.

Kristen Luiso's avatar

I want to feel more seen in this space in 2026! K, feels good to write that down. Hope 2026 brings you all the clean energy you aspire to maintain! xxx

Jess Graves's avatar

Good! Then you will be!

AL's avatar

I loved this post. Especially that point about being seen as trying too hard. I've seen this (mostly Millennial) "so, I did a thing" energy become pervasive among some popular Substack writers whose work I really enjoy and I find it ever so off-putting.

No-one needs to know how much time someone spent editing a post, or how many hours of their lives were lost to Zoom calls with potential sponsors, but pretending an extremely successful enterprise was built ad-hoc post by ad-hoc post from beneath a sauna blanket is way more embarrassing than just admitting you made an effort. I can't help but feel like, for those creators, not having the protection of a marquee title brings the fear of having readers accurately judge their editorial decisions as their own, but I think that's so exciting! And brave! And I'd love to see more people take pride in that, as you have done.

Jess Graves's avatar

Word to that. Better to just be real than posture

RSMabel's avatar

So beautiful & relatable. I love your writing and consider you an (imaginary) friend x

Jess Graves's avatar

❤️❤️❤️

Leonora Epstein's avatar

Thanks for being vulnerable. It helps to know you're not the only one who had a shit year!

Jess Graves's avatar

this one was a DOOZY and no sense in pretending otherwise! sorry your year was a bummer as well. hopefully 2026 is better

Dawn McGreevey's avatar

Thank you for being so open and honest. Your writing is beautiful. Love your posts like this 💕💕💕

Jordan Soderholm's avatar

Anxiety is ruthless, but digging in has refined me in a way I didn’t know I needed. So glad you shared 🫶🏽 cheering you on!!

Jess Graves's avatar

Thank you!!