I got married late to someone older and so many of my pals who married young dumped their husbands and are much happier for it. I think your generation has that part of things better than ours did; many of us had our whole identities wrapped up in their marriage/husbands. I don’t but definitely largely did for the first decade of our marriage.
the only way to have a successful relationship of any kind is for everyone to have their individual lives and center themselves, or it leads to quiet resentment
Your editor's note is spot on! You're a much better partner when you focus on exploring your own interests and keeping a healthy social life outside of your boyfriend/husband. Balance is important.
After years of relationships and being in a constant state of anxiety over a man’s opinion of me… 2026 is the year i de-center it all. Thank you so much for this!!
Wow wow wow. A very nuanced and care-infused take on the topic. It’s important that women’s worth is centred in themselves and that relationships that they *choose* to be in are additive not corrective. That part especially resonated with me. Thanks for this!
"Dump him," says the woman who spends a lot of her sub talking about having a fiancé, doing things with her fiancé, and marriage plans. Yeah, girls, dump him and spend more time reading Jess's substack and buying from her affiliate links.
Oh, I read it, while doing my nails. Exactly what I said, she crows on about HER boyfriend, and how she won't be dumping HIM, but that her readers should know that their beaus or crushes should not be the primary focus of their lives. Focus on themselves and spend some more money on their thousandth pair of loafers. Mammon rules supreme.
LOVE THIS. I fell in love with my husband in 99. I fell in love with myself, um, this year! Thanks perimenopause and eating disorder recovery and no longer writing for a very big newspaper as confirmation.
I got married late to someone older and so many of my pals who married young dumped their husbands and are much happier for it. I think your generation has that part of things better than ours did; many of us had our whole identities wrapped up in their marriage/husbands. I don’t but definitely largely did for the first decade of our marriage.
EXACTLY, create a life that it worth living on your own – and if you feel like it, gift yourself on Valentine's!
GROWN UP ROMANCE!! As someone who’s been married for 8+ years- that hit.
the only way to have a successful relationship of any kind is for everyone to have their individual lives and center themselves, or it leads to quiet resentment
Queen
Your editor's note is spot on! You're a much better partner when you focus on exploring your own interests and keeping a healthy social life outside of your boyfriend/husband. Balance is important.
After years of relationships and being in a constant state of anxiety over a man’s opinion of me… 2026 is the year i de-center it all. Thank you so much for this!!
Godspeed!
And herein lies the secret to a loving and successful partnership.
Wow wow wow. A very nuanced and care-infused take on the topic. It’s important that women’s worth is centred in themselves and that relationships that they *choose* to be in are additive not corrective. That part especially resonated with me. Thanks for this!
"Dump him," says the woman who spends a lot of her sub talking about having a fiancé, doing things with her fiancé, and marriage plans. Yeah, girls, dump him and spend more time reading Jess's substack and buying from her affiliate links.
There it is!!
In the wise words of Ta-Nehisi Coates: was silence not an option?
Tell me you missed the point without telling me you missed the point.
Doubled down on point-missing!
Seems like you didn’t read the post?
💅
Oh, I read it, while doing my nails. Exactly what I said, she crows on about HER boyfriend, and how she won't be dumping HIM, but that her readers should know that their beaus or crushes should not be the primary focus of their lives. Focus on themselves and spend some more money on their thousandth pair of loafers. Mammon rules supreme.
lol
Iconic self-own here
Aww man this was so lovely until the capitalism womp womp
Womp womp it’s a business
I know 😭😭lovely nonetheless
LOVE THIS. I fell in love with my husband in 99. I fell in love with myself, um, this year! Thanks perimenopause and eating disorder recovery and no longer writing for a very big newspaper as confirmation.
This is such an eye opening read 👏🏼
Especially enjoyed this one 🤩💛
❤️
God this is SO good
THIS!! Such a well written assessment of what’s going on. Thank you.