Who Invited Her?
(And Other Wedding Mysteries)
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The Runaway Divorcee: She makes one cutting comment about the florals and disappears before the cake. No one knows what she does, where she lives, or how she knows the bride. Doesn’t dance. Doesn’t cry. Just glides around, sipping something chilled and judging everyone’s shoe choice. Carries cash. Tips the bartender before ordering. Heads straight to Casa Cruz after. Alone.
The Eurocore Cousin: She spent one semester in Rome and made it her entire personality. A silk scarf might end up around her neck, her bun, or a wine bottle… depends on the vibe. She smells like Nette’s Lemon Puff and can order a spritz in perfect Italian. Forever searching for good light, French pharmacy skincare, and her next makeout. Matches her necklace to her White Negroni.
The Brass Tacks Bride: She’s not doing a flower crown. She’s doing Maison d’Etto, Merit cheek balm, and Loro Piana linens. Her wedding was never going to be on Pinterest; it’s a password-protected gallery with medium-format film scans and no hashtags allowed. She didn’t want bridesmaids, she wanted a seating chart that made sense. She’s the type to say “I don’t wear makeup” and mean it (while having a $900 facialist on call). Wait a second, though. Is that a… diamond toe ring? Yeah. Yeah, it is.
The Ex Who Isn’t Over It: She wasn’t supposed to be invited. And yet, there she is, in a dangerously sheer black slip and a smile that says “Congratulations… I guess.” The bride tells herself it’s fine. The groom swears they’re just friends. But her shoes are flat because she’s settling in. She tells the bride, “You look stunning,” but doesn’t mean it.
The Bathroom Bestie: You met her in line, both a little drunk. You didn’t know her before today, but now you’d die for her. She compliments your dress before you compliment hers. Holds your bag while you pee. She’s friends with the bride from Pilates or that one summer share in Montauk. Didn’t expect to know anyone. Ends up knowing everyone.
Niche London cool-girl brand Metier will be at Air Mail Newsstand in New York from June 17 to 23. They’ll have their high summer collection, core pieces, and timely travel sets on hand.
Resort collections from Khaite, Kallmeyer, and are teasing me from behind backlit screens and whetting my whistle. ‘Til then, we have current season confections like a taffeta windbreaker (need) and a cheeky airbrush tartan.
Those crispy, distinct button-downs with the dramatic cuffs you’ve been seeing? They’re from The Anteros, founded by ex-Tibi Creative, Bryn Rhoads, and her mother, Lisa. I suggest the butter yellow.
I discovered Dr. Stolberg’s Rest + Digest Tea after a facial with Raquel. She pours every client a little cup of it as they exit. Then my friend
raved about it, too, so I got some to keep at home. This stuff is fantastic when you have tummy bloat. You can use it as-needed or for 30 days straight for a full reset.Like to rot? Me, too. Paige Desorbo’s got you — and she hired the Jenna Lyons dream team (Kyle Deford, Sarah Clary) to see her vision through, shot by Coliena Rentmeester. The result? A pajama line for fellow bedbugs (named after her beloved cat, Daphne) that are cute enough to wear outside the bedroom. She did this right; the results speak for themselves: it’s already sold out.
The Carrie Bradshaw flower brooch is experiencing a revival, isn’t it? First, Phoebe Philo set the tone, followed shortly thereafter by this delightful little tank top from Tory Burch. If you’re not looking for your brooch to come attached to anything, look at Helena Simon’s designs. Her silk florals would look gorgeous on a black dress.
You know those Row jellies everyone got all in a huff about last summer? Don’t count them out yet. At an intimate gathering to fete and Yael Aflalo’s new diamond collaboration (everyone was talking about the diamond toe ring), we spotted not one, but three pairs of said jellies in every colorway.
On the opposite end of the jewelry spectrum, éliou has collaborated with perennial summer brand Ciao Lucia on a tight capsule of colorful necklaces and anklets. The result is a joyful burst of color at prices that don’t make me want to punch something.
I can’t wait to tell y’all about my living room re-do: the good, the great, and the abysmally bad. Stay tuned!
From a former copywriter, this is an hilarious, provocative concept/copy!
LOVE the crows nest shout out!