86 Comments

Loved reading this more personal note, Jess. I, too, suffer from EDS (eldest daughter syndrome) and have a complicated history with a Dad who has mental health issues, so I really resonated. I see you, and I'm sending you love and strength. <3

(Also, extremely here for you treating yourself to all the adult luggage, obviously)

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EDS! Putting that in the mental lexicon immediately xo

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Didn’t really know about this EDS til recently and it is sooo me! And dad issues. oof

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Well this was a refreshing and nourishing read, completely agree with every thing you said.

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thanks for indulging me

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with you top to bottom, from “astrology as a diagnosis” to “burn all wooden stacked heels.” and grid-zero is FREEDOM!

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FREEDOM!

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This might be one of the best things I've read all year (not to say I didn't enjoy your other emails—because I absolutely did, lol). Thank you for being vulnerable—this resonated deeply with me.

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I am glad it did xo

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You’re a fabulous writer. I really enjoyed the read and the bitchy sass vibe, it’s refreshing. I have less people in my life but I’m much happier for it. The best thing about aging is your tolerance level for bs becomes smaller and you realize what doesn’t serve you needs to go. More posts like this one in the new year, please.

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yes, my bullshit threshold, while never high, has become even lower as I age

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I love this even though you’re abandoning the nuance of my gluten intolerance

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This made me lol

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I agree with pretty much everything here, but especially with not walking more than two people deep IN ANY CITY!!

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YES! like R U OK do you realize you exist in a world with other people and space is to be shared

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ABSOLUTELY! The fact that I don’t yell at people on the street about this is a testament to my self control (and strong desire not to get arrested).

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I yell at people on the street. I love new york

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It’s their world and we are just in it is one of my fave comments!

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Yes! And move TF over if you need to look at your phone! I am taking great pleasure in “accidentally” running into people whose attention is on their phone and not the walkway.

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I love this. I read your newsletter because I’ve always enjoyed reading about fashion purely for fun. And now this, to see all this good stuff re who you are, what you want, and how you want to live is soooo cool on many levels. Have a happy holiday season! (Also, gah, I love the Faux-Phelia so much…)

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thank you so much for such a nice note, it's tough getting personal sometimes and comments like this are reassuring

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This post is the epitome of why I adore reading / following you

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Love this for you Jess. I am a big fan of grid zero, big big fan. We spend far too much of our time owing other people things (I’m also an eldest daughter with a problematic dad). And yes to treating yourself. I like spending money and buying stuff too. According to people on Notes these days, that makes us the scum of the earth. Let us be. Wishing you peace of mind (and lots of big and small luxuries) x

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Notes is an echo chamber of garbage people. It's a great place if you're miserable and looking for confirmation bias. Not so much if you're... y'know, normal.

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YES to this and YOU. 🤍

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big love

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Wonderful! I read it fast in case you were gonna delete. And, I call my bestie since 8th grade “Sweet Pea” for some reason!

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love that

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I had to wait until I had time to properly read and digest this and brava Jess! Less IG, more openly-shared opinions (which is what people used to hire writers for in the first place) and always a little self-indulgence....when did everyone get so straight and narrow? I am thankful I lived in the 90s when all these things were plentiful. xx J

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This was everything

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👏 and ❤️

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Brava! And thank you for sharing and being real. May your holidays feel sparkly and restful (and I bet they will with all the muting). Not sure if you have a favorite journal, but I really love the ones from Wilde House Paper.

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