Hot Girls at the Boutique Fitness Studio
What does your niche workout say about you?
While I’m in the Hamptons for my bachelorette and bridal shower (yes, it’s happening — linen, champagne, the whole thing), I’ve lined up a few guest editors to take over The Love List while I’m out. They’re friends of the letter (and me!) with great taste and strong opinions, and they’ll be popping in with edits, essays, and outfits. I hope you hop over to their newsletters next.
Today’s guest editor is tariro makoni, one of the smartest people I know and my favorite Elusive International Hot Girl — she coined the term, after all. Her takes are molten-hot, and she’s the primary reason I understand literally any Gen Z slang. She took a humdrum text from me about opting out of nail polish and turned it into a viral thinkpiece. Such is her power. I love the way she sees the world. Subscribe to her Substack, TM.
- Jess
If you are what you eat, then what does your fitness routine say about you? TBH, if this were a sociology seminar (or the Tuesday letter on trademarked), I’d counter the above by saying: the first is actually just a question of how status is consumed (cough, round swamp vs sagaponack general store), whereas the second is about how status is performed. Which is important to highlight… but not really why we’re here.
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Anthropology treats status with less philosophical abstraction and as more of a lived, tactical behavior. And while this letter may differ from the output of famed social/status anthropologists like Graeber/Yanagisako/Mauss…. as we’d say in my world, nyc’s elusive (international) hot girls are pre-commodified lifestyle futurists. As the (hot, cool, smart, interesting, enigmatic) women known for always being ahead, it’s a population worth exploring to reveal what we should know about what’s going to hit mainstream next.
For example, and for the purposes of today’s letter, you may find yourself asking – how does she always look so refreshed? Well, she’s a Dr. Idriss loyalist who supplements baby botox with NAD+ (injected weekly by a specialist who comes to her home), her name is practically inscribed on the infrared sauna at Remedy Place, and she’s committed to daily Wim Hof whilst laying on this $9K PEMF mat that hums all 9 solfeggio frequencies into her body.
And the best part? Everything I just mentioned is already old news to this set. To discover what’s next, we must return to the field to gather some updated ~anthropometric intelligence~!
As far as workouts go, there will always be a tension between what’s trendy and what’s foundational. Which is why I find the collective “in” vs “out” amongst this hot girl cohort to be most fascinating.
Since everybody is different, there isn’t a homogenous “type”, but each workout does reliably attract its own subset of elusive hot girls – each with different quirks and varying tolerance for inconvenience (e.g., sweating)…
OK let’s dive in! Love being here with you. Thank you, Jess, for having me join in on your avengers-core lineup whilst you’re out on BACH <3 ILY <3 I hope you’re having the best time!!!! (naturally, accompanied by an infinite number of (hugo/aperol) spritzes hehe)
Ciao, lovers,
TM x
THE CLASS
Oh, you’ve never spent 60 minutes screaming, crying, doing 7 minutes of constant burpees, and then sitting on your knees while fanning your heart until reaching cosmic euphoria?
In all seriousness, The Class is a workout practice centered in release, and its founder, Taryn Toomey is perhaps the Gwyneth Paltrow of the IYKYK NYC fitness scene. Her following is dedicated — I’ve seen buzzy founders, media, PR hotlist models, and cool girl writers, as well as the most glistening, gorgeous friend groups of the rich moms (if you’re lucky, you’ll also spot TT’s celeb tribe – encompassing GP, Alicia Keys, Emma Stone, et al).
To really lock that in, I saw the most captivating woman I’ve ever seen, and at the end of class, she walked over to me and said, “You have such beautiful energy and oneness, it was an honor to share this space with you.” I was so touched, and have thought about her often (she was THAT beautiful and THAT sincere), only to recently see a video of Christy Turlington and realize OMFG……. I think that’s her (more likely than delulu… CT is a longtime patron of TT).
The Vibe: more Goop-Adjacent Downtown Rich Moms than anything else, which… makes sense for a Tribeca studio that has crystals nestled underneath its floorboards (really!).
The Uniform: As for what ppl wear during class… lots of Lululemon and Splits59 (this top, capri leggings w/ chunky greyscale sneakers, the easton’s in this darling color combo, and the mia). And after — you’ll see more May Lindstrom than Biologique Recherche, I’ve also overheard a chic international friend group of Tribeca moms raving about the referral-only facials by celeb-beloved, Kristyn Smith.
Everyone here is also very grateful that, with SunLife’s arrival, they can finally spend $25 on a (worthwhile) smoothie post class. And in the fall, the studio has to be the highest density of (IYKYK) Yaser Shaw shawls in all of downtown Manhattan LOL.
SUTTON EAST
I know, I know, it’s utterly unimaginable to consider playing tennis on clay anywhere that isn’t out east or Italy/Mallorca/Monaco/SOF this summer. However, before the doves fly the nest (aka U leave the city for an obligatory, month-long “summer break” come July), I figured we could get some intel via the hot girl’s stealth-favorite tennis spot in NYC.
The Vibe: For a min of $100/hr, you’ll find Sutton East and its red clay indoor courts (huge). TBH, that’s all I need to say for you to get why the lore is self-explanatory (especially for internationals who don’t want to cozy up to old American money at the other prestige racquet clubs around town).
The Uniform: Anyway, my source tells me that Wilson rackets are still #1 (I lament this as a Yonex girl myself), alongside Lululemon tennis apparel for both guys and gals. Interestingly, however, is that On’s apparel seems to be on the rise (thank U Zendaya, rich men @ Basel, Federer, & challengers!), alongside vintage oversized tees (thrifted – bonus points for 90s Open merch), and Literary Sport bikers + shorts styled with post court Salomon’s – in a Bella Hadid way.
HUMMING PUPPY
Humming Puppy is the yoga/breathwork/sound healing studio where IYKYK hot & cool & international-adjacent girls congregate to lament NYC…not having an outpost of LA’s Open.
The Vibe: Unlike The Class, it feels like more of an overtly social experience. The scene here is less rhode and more bienaime, and bink seems to be the dominating hot girl water bottle of choice.
The Look: This studio was my first encounter with elastique’s stirrup, lymphatic massage leggings IRL, and I’ve also started to see variations of this LA-core combo: sports bra + (re/done) ribbed white tank, tie dyed cashmere from The Elder Statesman thrown over the shoulder, these niche shorts, the socks + Row Hugos, and a Harris Walz hat. Fab.
Also, perhaps because the breathwork class is like an adult version of tummy time (complimentary!), this might be the only time you’ll see just as many hot girls in Franck Muller as you will in the obligatory Apple Watch.
TRACY ANDERSON
The Vibe: There’s not much to say about Tracy Anderson that hasn’t been… thoroughly said… already. However, I will say that it takes a SPECIAL type of woman to be down to invoke that much torture whilst looking THAT good doing it. The room is balmy, the water is oftentimes mountain valley, and there is nowhere to hide your inexperience (which is kinda.. the point).
And if you think you’ve finally found a worthwhile group to field your questions on NAD+? Snooze, they’re onto continuous glucose monitors now (GP included!). As such, the only fruit salad they’ll be consuming this summer is not from Meadow Lane, but from Jessica Mccormack ;).
The Look: During class, I’m told you’ll see lots of the OG nike swoop leggings, joah brown socks, Wear One’s At’s IYKYK Unitards (Varsity + Liberty are beloved by TA patron, Tracee Ellis Ross)... sometimes with the Splits59 red bodysuit on top, all paired with the On/Hoka/Nike sneaker hegemony (however, hearing this cream + brown pair of asics are on the rise!).
After class, you’ll notice that Les Tien has erased Free City, and that Lori Harvey’s repeatedly worn style of billowy, oversized fashion sweatshirts are all the rage (this look requires all black/monochrome).
NOFAR METHOD
Nofar Method is the pilates studio on the lips of all my chic cool hot interesting friends lately.
The Look: And I mean, let us rejoice, finally there’s a studio where metier’s lineup feels just as dominant amongst the current super pac: Still Here tote, mini Goyard anjous (green& black & orange & blue), The Row’s small park shopper + margaux (in all sizes.. with this clipped on), Hermes’s garden parties + birkins + kellys. From what I’ve heard, though, one thing stands out as verrryyyy clear – the thought of getting proposed to with a day diamond is diabolical to this set. Lots of piercingly white, pristine tilted pears, movals, and emeralds here.
My source also tells me that biker shorts (bonus for a pastel-hued set!) + the alo universal hot girl leggings are still going strong (in espresso), as are the Gil Rodriguez “pilates” headbands, wrap tops (examples - here, here, here), and more blinding tennis bracelets/necklaces to match their left ring fingers LOL.
The Vibe: I’m also told to NOT get these abnormally strong girls twisted, though, they voted for Zohran and are fluent in Kafka. And I mean, delightful – life is about the both/ands, after all <3
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thanks for having me @jess ILY ILY ILY ILY🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀
Need to know more about what is so diabolical about day diamond engagement rings! (assume you’re referencing JMC?!)