Is It Actually More Fun? I Went Blonde to Find Out.
In hot pursuit of rich girl hair.
Ed. Note: This letter is in partnership with Crown Affair.
Their products—specifically their shampoo/conditioner, microfiber hair towel, leave-in, and Renewal mask—are the only products I used during my blonding, and I believe the reason my hair stayed so healthy throughout the arduous process of making my color so much lighter.
I’ve been a brunette my entire life — God blessed me with a long mop of very dark hair, and I never messed with it too much. Until I began noticing grays two years ago, it hadn’t even seen so much as a lick of dye. Aside from trims and blowouts, I mostly let it do its thing.
But we all want what we can’t have, and I’ve always wondered what it was like to be blonde. It was kind of only that: a curiosity. It's not something I thought I would ever seriously pursue.
When I moved to New York, I put myself in the capable hands of the David Mallett team in Soho. For the first time, I felt like I had the resources to experiment with my hair without it being a five-alarm disaster.
One day, I was getting a blowout and pulled up a photo of Jennifer Lawrence’s perfect rich-girl blonde for my stylist, Ryan. “What do you think?” I asked. “Could I pull this off?” Ryan is dry as a bone and blunt as a club, so I knew he’d tell me the truth, and I was expecting a full-throated “Oh honey, no.” But he surprised me. “Could be cute!” He said. “Let me show this to [our colorist] Kaylee.”
Kaylee walked over, did a little nose scrunch, and examined my hair. “We’d have to do it in two or three appointments, depending on how easily your hair will lift and take color,” She said. “But honestly, I think this would be chic!” I left that day wondering if I should just go for it. But I paused to ponder it more and told myself I’d wait for a sign from the universe.
Not a week later, I was hanging out with some girlfriends at a little brand party. There were maybe six of us. I didn’t know a couple of the girls there, and as I introduced myself, it struck me that one of the girls was a dead ringer for my hair reference. “You look so much like Jennifer Lawrence,” I said. (She really did!) I made a mental note to grill her about her hair color later.
While chatting with another friend, I kept glancing at her, studying her hair.
“Sorry!” I said. “I’m staring at your hair! You just look so much like her!”
She burst out laughing.
“I am her. I am Jennifer Lawrence.”
“Oh my God!” I said, mortified but laughing.
“I thought you were fucking with me!” She said.
“No, no,” I said. “Honest to God, I just thought you worked for the brand!”
“Damn,” she laughed, good-natured and quick as ever. “I should have messed with you more. I should have been like, ‘Do you think she’s pretty? Do you like her movies?’” At this point, everyone in the room was dying laughing.
Sometimes, signs from the universe are subtle. But this one slapped me upside the head.
I texted Ryan the next day and told him I was ready to be a blonde.
And here we are.
I wasn’t the least bit anxious about the process in the hands of really good people. I trusted them fully. Not only was the color gorgeous, but my hair felt healthy and shiny and didn’t have that crispy, over-processed look blondes can have.
I babied my hair between appointments, ensuring I used super gentle surfactant-free shampoo and rich conditioners to lock in lots of moisture. Indeed, bless Crown Affair. I had the exact rich girl blonde babe hair I’d envisioned.
But then, a funny thing happened. I kind of stopped feeling like me.
I didn’t realize how much of my identity was wrapped up in my hair, something I may need to unpack in therapy. Regardless, I realized I’m a brunette not only physically but spiritually—more Veronica than Betty.
“Okay, that was fun,” I told Ryan about six weeks later at my next appointment. “But I’m ready to go back to dark.”
Ryan and Kaylee laughed. “Seriously?! After all that?”
Two hours later, I was me again.
Thank you, Ryan, thank you, Kaylee, thank you, David Mallet Salon, thank you, Crown Affair. Most of all, thank you, Jen Lawrence. May your perfect hair continue to inspire colorists worldwide.
If you’re thinking of making a big hair change, let me be your sign from the universe to go for it. Otherwise, you may always wonder.
Most genuine and fun letter on Substack over and over. Sounds like you had a lot of fun!
I’ve been waiting for this story! You look great at both. I’m also a brunette but since greys have been dreaming of going platinum… maybe this is the moment??