Reservations at The Grill and Phoebe Philo Boots

Hi, how are you doing? Just a note from me this evening. I like sending the letter at night sometimes. It feels somehow more intimate.

I’ve had a busy week. I’ve been (sort of) celebrating my birthday a bit and taking it a little easier the past few days. I have been trying to take really good care of myself. Birthdays do that: remind you to go in for the tune-ups.

Kevin and I had a long, meandering meal at The Grill to mark another year passing. My steak was perfect. Wedding planning has been more stressful than I bargained for, and taking regular breaks to focus on anything but has been good for me. The Grill is a perfect place to not think about the outside world. That pink martini helps.

A good stack.

Last Thursday, I had some girlfriends over for dinner after our our reservation fell through elsewhere. We pinch-hit it into a fun evening by pivoting into my backyard and hiring

Daniel Emilio Soares

to cater an intimate meal for us.

At some point in the group chat, someone (probably

Noora Raj Brown

) coined it “Cafe Graves” and I must say, it’s a tough table to get but worth it if you can snag a res haha! The girls (

Melanie Masarin

,

Joyce Lee

and

Olivia Muniak

among them) conspired to bring out a little birthday cake for me. I really needed that time.

Kevin fell asleep on the couch mid-party.

jessnellgraves

A post shared by @jessnellgraves

Girl time recharges my soul when I need it most. So I doubled down on it a lot this week. Both of the new member’s clubs I joined opened up on the same weekend last week, so I’ve spent a lot of time socializing with girls at those spots and acclimating. There’s a sunny drawing room in one of them that’s become a perfect little writing spot.

Venita Aspen

and I needed a major yap sesh (if you follow Bravo TV drama, you know why, woof). We dropped into the Substack / The Real Real party for a quick minute before retreating back for some major one-on-one time. Despite my phone buzzing incessantly with wedding drama, I felt my happiness battery ticking up.

My cup runneth over yesterday morning, when the girls at Raquel New York invited me in for the magical “Four Hands” massage, which is a simultaneous facial from Raquel and massage from Sophie.

Whenever I talk about this place, I use terms like “witches” and “healers” because Raquel and her cohort Sophie Bovary are borderline spooky. There’s just something about their studio that’s unlike anywhere else — it can magically set you right. It’s definitely the kind of place

tariro makoni

would say EHGs gatekeep.

After that, I went to go have some ill-advised hair extensions taken out of my head. I AM NOT CUT OUT FOR THAT EXTENSION LIFE. So the weight that’s been coming off of me as I take care of myself more and more this week is literal, not just figurative.

→ sunglasses // t-shirt // cropped barrel leg jeans // fragrance // watch // earrings // bag // hair accessory // loafers

→ leather jacket // tank // earrings // ring // sandals // pants // bag // nail polish // fragrance // phone chain

→ clips // bag // sunglasses // fragrance // jacket // pants // essence // loafers // blush

The weather in NYC’s been indecisive at best. I’m in a heavy sweater one day and shorts the next. My hero pieces have been a pair of Phoebe Philo boots and Frame’s The Pencil jeans. I wore them with a past-season Row silk coat and a grey Donni t-shirt on Tuesday and now today with an enormously cozy Bottega sweater. I sprayed a little of Dedcool’s balmy Mochi Milk fragrance into the air just to remind me of warm weather.

The Donni t-shirt is a favorite lately, up there in high rotation with Kule’s striped t-shirt (looks cute around the house with grey cashmere sweatpants), their navy t-shirt, which I style under a navy Row Sibem sweater with navy Gala pants and black loafers. Michael Stars also dropped a t-shirt collab with Karla Welch, which fits closer to the figure and looks sexy under a black blazer.

I’m slobbering over the new Phoebe collection C, just like everyone else.

This weekend, I’m meeting with my friend Gigi Burris because she’s going to design a wedding veil for me! I’m going to get a haircut and then I’m going to have drinks with Janessa. And by then, hopefully this little stressy depressy cloud of wedding and work stress will have passed. Just like with this Spring weather, I’m ready for some sunshine.

Drop me wedding planning survival tips in the comments. Maybe we should just elope? Something to think about.