The List: Need Some Support? I'll Give You a Lift.

A tight edit of bras, balconettes, and bikini tops for your real life.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all who celebrate. I hope you enjoy a little romance, even if it’s solo. (We have a gift guide if you’re the better late than never type). While we are discussing underwear today, it’s probably not the kind of lingerie this holiday brings to mind. Instead, we’re tackling the stuff meant for the other 364 days. Because outside of the bedroom, you need your bra to perform differently.

Today’s letter was inspired by a product that readers have almost unanimously embraced: EBY’s bras. They often come up in our chat and comment section — readers praise them for their comfort primarily, but also how great they make your clothes look.

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If you’ve ever worn an ill-fitting bra, you know the lumps, bumps and discomfort they can create. A perfect white t-shirt becomes less than perfect when your demi-cup digs into your décolleté. That great chunky knit sweater suddenly looks bulky when the drape is ruined by a padded bra. A white lace number looks fine under a black top in the mirror, only to cue horror after seeing the flash photography later on.

What you wear under your clothes is as important as the clothes themselves. So when readers are this vocal about an underwear brand, I perk up. Pun intended.

xo; JG

1. EBY makes two different bras I really, really like. I road-test a lot of brands and — accordingly — have tossed plenty of uncomfortable undergarments in the bye-bye bin. (We won’t go into those here, but comment in chat if you want me to drop names.) My bar is high: for an everyday bra to stay in my drawer, I should not feel it on my body. At all. I want to forget it’s there. EBY’s sheer bralette does exactly that; it goes away.

   I particularly like it for long writing days working from home. It’s so soft and moldable that it digs nowhere, even when I sit. It’s also (bonus) sexy to look at. And yes, I’d say you can wear it if you have bigger breasts, but I would size down for more support. It’s genuinely the most useful undergarment I own. (There are sheer briefs to coordinate, which in the black is a minimal but sexy combo).

   If you prefer more support and coverage, their Relief bra is just as good. This one has a touch of padding and a full coverage back — more the look of a traditional underwire bra, but wireless. The cup is engineered to lift things up and the seamless band eliminates side bulge. Their sizes run from XS (32A) to 2XLDD (44DDD), so just about everybody can wear it. If you read the reviews, you’ll see I’m not alone here. There are lots of people saying it’s the most comfortable bra they’ve ever worn. If you’re unsure of your size, here’s a great guide from Vogue.com about measuring at home.

   Btw, 15% off + free shipping w/ code GRAVESFS15

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   A Beauty Edit for the Fashion Romantics

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2. If you’re more of a traditional underwire person, I’d look at Cuup. The Plunge is my favorite style because I tend to like the look of a v-neck better on myself. My boobs aren’t done (yet) but I have several girlfriends with lifts and implants, and all of them praise the brand’s Balconette style — the wider-set straps can carry a little more weight without putting strain on the back and shoulders.

   For t-shirts, I like the smooth fabrication and coverage of The Scoop style, which is a bit more pragmatic for less forgiving fabrics. The brand also makes excellent swimwear — if you find a bra you like, they likely have a bikini top in the same style.

   

3. Speaking of swim, a Mom friend of mine was lamenting how she can’t find functional swimwear for parenting. When I (childless) asked what she meant, she told me that while she loves contemporary tie styles and bits from Johanna Ortiz, she needs more pragmatic swim pieces that cover things up in the sun, allow her to bend over and chase toddlers, and that she isn’t afraid of getting apple sauce and/or streaks of Water Babies on. She also wanted to be able to buy several at once to leave at her beach place. Read: inexpensive.

   “I can’t even rely on Target for this stuff anymore,” She said. She’s a member at the Sea Island Beach Club, which if you’ve ever been, you know the place is swimming (pun intended) with sun-soaked little kids trailed by exhausted, sandy, sweaty Moms bouncing between the beach and family pool. So I fully get this request.

   I went on a hunt for her and landed in a surprising place: Land’s End. Did I lose you? Stay with me! Is everything here cute? Definitely not. But if you know what you’re looking for, there are some winners when you wade. They have butt-covering, club-appropriate swim skirts, rash guards so she doesn’t have to remember to re-apply sunscreen as she sweats it off hourly (have you been to Georgia in the summer? HOT.), and cute little boy shorts that won’t give her a wedgie after the water slide.

   And if she feels like she wants to drop the kids at camp, head to the Adults-Only pool, be a person and have a stiff drink, they actually have some nice-looking classic black one-pieces that won’t send the other pearl-clutching Southern Moms into whispers. I recommend accessorizing with a classic canvas tote embroidered with your kid’s nickname and a requisite Sea Island ball cap.

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   10 Outfit Ideas for When It's Really, Really Cold.

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One last thought before I leave you (because it’s the kissing holiday, after all) — I’ve never recieved so many DMs about lipstick ever in my life until I posted the below on Notes/Stories. So I would just like to note for posterity that it is Westman Atelier Lip Suede in the shade “Je Reve”. In certain light, it looks more pink and in others, more mauve. (And to preemptively strike the comment section, my sunglasses are Linda Farrow, earrings and jacket Khaite, sweater by Sold Out NYC, brows by Jimena.) Ok, bye!