24 Comments

"I don’t think you need to be a certain size to love and talk about clothes, nor do I think you need to live in New York or whatever."

--Thank you for saying this. I needed to hear this.

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author

I know the Internet can make you feel otherwise because we're stuck in an algorithmic k-hole, but this is a conversation for everyone.

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founding

As a fellow introvert, this is something I privately laugh about all the time. The fact that we (we meaning most content creators, at least the ones who started when you and I did) started at this to have a quiet space to write and share the things we love... and it's now morphed into this thing where you are expected to talk to the camera, attend regular events, etc etc!

I have gotten better at faking it, and finding my coping strategies (the bathroom is my best friend, can always pretend to have some important task to attend to on my email) but I still struggle!

I'm grateful we have our pets, our baths, our beds and maybe even more importantly - our fellow introvert content creators who we can text with (or write posts like this) to remind us that we're not alone in this! Thank you for this, friend -- beautifully written!

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author

I know we talk about this all the time but thank you for the comment regardless haha. Pets, baths and beds forever.

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Feb 13Liked by Jess Graves

Beautifully said, thank you so much for sharing and reminding us of the reality of events that only look amazing from our phones! ❤️❤️❤️

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Feb 12Liked by Jess Graves

Oh boy, I was definitely labeled a snob in my tween and teen years but it was actually that I was an introvert who was painfully shy in groups!

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Love this thoughtful post and can very much relate to much of what you say here.

I'm a fellow introvert who can be very social but much prefer a small group or one on one, and often find myself with an "introvert hangover" after parties and events (where no matter my confidence level, I always feel a bit awkward). I didn't understand this about myself when I was younger and used to think something wrong with me.

And I could not agree more with your idea about the "concern with illusion" and with this beautifully expressed thought: "we're forgetting to feed ourselves with what actually matters..." It's such a widely applicable cultural problem, and it starts so very young these days. A great read- thanks for sharing...

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Feb 12Liked by Jess Graves

Thank you for speaking to so many of us with these words. And mic drop on this: “I find the best antidote to snobbery is simply being kind. Because most people aren’t actually snobs. They’re just feeling a little awkward.” Pisces introverts unite. ♓️🐟

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author

big feelings are our superpower and Achilles heel, but I'd have it no other way.

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Feb 12Liked by Jess Graves

Im trying to teach my kids exactly this (the genes are strong)! Because I grew up thinking it was my largest downside, and that I was damaged for being that way.

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Lovely post. On behalf of my fellow introverts, I thank you! (I hope it's OK to tell you that the word you were looking for is "antidote," not "anecdote.")

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author

LOL you're right! Let me fix that before my Mom texts me and tells me the same thing.

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"I am not an extrovert. I love my bed, my dogs, a hot bath, a warm cup of tea. I make no secret of this. I’m able to be social and bubbly, but my social battery drains quickly, and I need alone time to recharge before facing the outside world again.

I have a large interior life that I don’t put online... I do best when I'm socializing one-on-one, or running in a safe, small pack of women. In a big room of people where I don’t know anyone, you will probably find me pretending to be busy on my phone."

Thank you for so wonderfully capturing what I have tried and fail to describe as myself so many times.

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author

its the offline life that matters <3

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Another fellow introvert who could not agree more with everything you in this beautiful, vulnerable post. xo

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Feb 12Liked by Jess Graves

Thank you, Jess, for one of my now favorite posts I’ve ever read on here. All of this was so beautifully written, especially as I (and all of us) consider our consumption on social media, etc. and how it makes us feel. I hope you enjoy all that this week brings you, and we can all spread a little love (especially as it’s v-day week!) 🫂

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author

thank you! I hope you feel the love this week as well :) My Valentine to myself might be deleting IG for a few days.

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LOL I’LL JOIN YOU ❤️

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Loved reading this, Jess- especially, “I hope it makes you feel on the inside of things...and not out.” Cheers to more drawing people in!!

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author

100%, it's a feast and there's tons of chow for everyone

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Feb 24Liked by Jess Graves

This article hit me hard. I was most lonely when I was most invited and high up in luxury. The more brand events and fashion related gatherings I went to, I exhausted myself to not let it end, and it left a deep empty whole. It’s not an industry fault, but it is a tough industry and I think the only way to feel ok it in is to remember we are not alone in feeling alone nor to allow it to consume our identify or values, our being.

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Thank you for sharing this! Very relatable yet rarely admitted. Keeping this in mind when I'm anxious about my next small talk experience, “I find the best antidote to snobbery is simply being kind. Because most people aren’t actually snobs. They’re just feeling a little awkward.”

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Feb 13Liked by Jess Graves

This is so good! It’s hard making friends as we get older in any occupation. I cannot imagine what it’s like on the fashion front. Thanks for sharing.

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