Bath Person
How to be hot while you rot.
In The Wreckage of My Presence, Comedian Casey Wilson’s hilarious book of essays, she proudly declares herself a “bed person.” For the uninitiated, Wilson describes bed people as self-indulgent comfort-seekers who pursue the noble art of remaining horizontal as much as humanly possible — this extends as far as a Pilates reformer and, of course, includes the bathtub.
While the feeling of sanctuary is implicit, Wilson argues that a bed or tub’s innate coziness does not negate its ability to function as a productive place: one where emails are caught up, books are devoured, and even languages are learned. In short, a bad person does not equal a lazy person.
In 2018, I wrote a back-page magazine essay about this same way of life, but I called bed people (one of whom I proudly identify as) “Wintroverts.” Same thing. Equal billing.
So! Now you know how highly I think of bath time. Many people argue the “ick” factor of baths, conjuring images of stewing in filth. To that, I say, “How dirty are you?” If it really bothers you, just rinse off after!
Because when election anxiety is at an all-time high, a hot bath is where it’s at — and I would never want anyone to miss out on one of the cold weather’s most sacred rituals.
It’ll warm your bones, soothe your muscles, calm your mind, and perhaps even deflate a little bloat. Here are the things I consider essential for any serious bather (outside of a Lelo, of course).
Nothing is better for cold muscles than Epsom salt. I buy the giant (like, 20lbs!) bulk bag on Amazon, because I put Epsom salt in just about all of my baths. I like Dr. Teal’s various salt concoctions, too — particularly the ginger and lavender. Recently, I’ve discovered Flewd bath salts, which, given their high magnesium concentration, are the proverbial “big gun” I pull out when a casual soak simply isn’t going to hit. And if I’m feeling luxe, I love the Sangra de Fruta and de Mamiel salts, respectively.
On the palatable subject of bloat, I swear by this by-the-pound clay. Mixed with apple cider vinegar, it makes a fantastic face mask (I do my neck and chest, too), but it also draws water bloat from your skin when you drop a few healthy scoops into your tub. (Drink lots of water before and after to flush your system; staying hydrated is cute!) Just rinse your tub afterward, or you’ll be stuck dealing with green cement.
This menthol bath helps open up my breathing for a few blessed moments when I’m congested. Also awesome for when you’re sick: Dr. Singha’s Mustard Bath. It’s under $10. It’s magical.
This is a good time for a mask. Just sayin’. I love Clarins’ de-puffing mask, which snatches cheekbones and jawlines, though Sephora cannot keep it in stock. Other masks I keep around are Blue Lagoon Iceland and Masque Vivante — just remember to sprinkle a little baking soda into that one before you use it.
Hair masks, too! My far-and-away favorite is Crown Affair’s highly-sumptuous renewal mask because my ends like to get crispy in the winter.
My exfoliation situation has drastically improved since Nerra came along—it’s like I have a tiny personal bath house. I use the exfoliating mitts and follow with the body oil.
This nifty Japanese body cloth makes it so much easier to scrub your back and shoulders! (Bonus: it feels like a good back scratch.)
I love a little foam and bubble moment. Dr. Teal makes a nice foaming bath. But more often, I drop Kate McLeod’s bath stones into my tub. They don’t add any foam but dissolve to add just enough oil to the water to leave my skin soft when I step out. I also love her body stones for moisturizing after.
Lights off, Diptyque candle burning, playlist on. OR, get one of those suction things for the back of your phone, slap it on the wall, and binge some Bravo.
For drying off, I never knew I could have such *feelings* about towels until I encountered these elite bath sheets and these hair towels.
Since it’s fall, I wrap myself up in the coziest robe I own, brush my hair with my new favorite brush, and promptly crash into bed.
Take care of yourself, love this post - baths give me life! That mask is great, have you tried the Clarins cryo-flash mask? It’s my go too and I have three friends hooked on it! Clarins is a bit under rated imo!
I’ve been using Masque Vivant for years and hadn’t heard about mixing with baking soda - thanks for the tip!