Glossier Than Thou
A spiritual audit, in 30ml increments.
I typed “Sephora” into Gmail, looking for a receipt, and got a time capsule instead. Forget the burned CDs and scrapbooks, here it was: a running tab of phases and identities dating back to 2008.
There was the perfume I wore in college (Jo Malone Wild Bluebell), the requisite Nars Orgasm phase, an overly gratuitous Benefit Hoola era, even the great TikTok skincare binge of 2020. There was my first Beauty Blender, some weird powder from when someone told me I should “bake” (which I never did), and the Fresh Sugar lip scrub that a glossy magazine told me I needed (back when we read those).
Further in, a record of when I bought Better Than Sex mascara before a 2016 Bumble date, followed by about a million tins of Smith’s Rosebud Salve that promptly melted in the cup holder of my car. Even farther back, a 2:14 a.m. order for an Urban Decay Naked Palette because I was either heartbroken, bored, or convinced that a new eye lewk might change the course of my entire life.
Then, a mysterious pause in Sephora orders altogether: what was that, I wondered? Bingo, the Glossier years! I went from favoring Orgasm cheeks to wanting Boy Brows overnight. (Hey, at least I never purchased a Kylie Lip Kit.)
As I flicked through years of emails, I felt exposed, like I was reading someone else’s diary. If someone were to see this, I thought, I would be baring my fucking soul. But then I thought better. Beauty is just trying. And I don’t think it's bad to be seen trying. I’m not embarrassed because I never hoped to escape who I was through makeup. I suppose I was just a kid figuring out who she would be. I don’t regret those purchases at all; it’s hilarious to look back at old versions of myself.
I’d venture to call it evidence of an evolution. I can see that I used to buy things to look like someone else. Now, I buy them to feel more like myself. Kinda beautiful, right?
Below, six O.G. beauty items — from 1996 to 2018 — that I’ll always repurchase, because they’re perfect. Trust me, I’ve tried it all.
I have the receipts to prove it.
These are the classics I believe everyone needs, like the beauty version of blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and a pair of black heels. They’ll always perform, you’ll never age out of them, and they make everything else you have look even better.
1. Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer (Launched in 1996)
I’ve worn this through three breakups, five vacations, two moves, and a job I loved until I didn’t. It’s still good, even just dabbed on with fingers. The oil-free version is paramount for maintaining composure in Southern heat.
2. Glossier Boy Brow (Launched in 2016)
Glossier emerged and fundamentally upended the era of contouring, favoring a skin-first beauty approach instead that was dewy, plump, and natural. I’ve tried other things, but I keep coming back to Boy Brow. (You all owe
a thank-you note for that product, btw.)3. Beauty Blender (Launched in 2003)
She’s bouncy, she’s versatile, she’s been in my makeup bag since undergrad, and she has yet to be improved upon.
4. Westman Atelier Baby Cheeks (Launched in 2018)
Remember the “clean beauty” movement? Peak goop gave us peak Gucci — Westman, that is. Baby Cheeks was her hero launch product, and I still use it to this day. Its cult status stems from a buttery texture that blends easily with your digits and builds pigment naturally. “Bichette” is my go-to shade, followed closely by “Petal”.
5. Augustinus Bader The Rich Cream (Launched in 2018)
This stuff is just a hug in a lab coat. I still wince at buying it, but I never fail to make the purchase. (Like many great products, Cassandra Grey stocked it first, and the world followed suit.)
6. Vintner’s Daughter Active Botanical Serum (Launched in 2013)
A nutrient-rich serum-oil that my skin laps up greedily. I’ve been using it for ten years, ever since Into The Gloss named it “The Face Oil To End All Face Oils”. It still is.
Great recap of the ghosts of makeup past!
genius search term xoxo